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#1 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 03:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hey, i am goign to start slow....and to the point.
i had my daughter, rain, on sept 25....at home
she was about 1 week past due...my dd #1 had been 2 weeks past EDD, so that raised no red flags...plus we had several prenatals in the last several weeks of pregnancy...heart tones, position, movement, etc was all alwasy great.

it was a very hard labor, b/c she was already dead (we did not realize it)
not long labor, but painful, b/c my body had to bring her down and out with out her "help"....
i don't know what all the answers are (spiritually or medicaly)

we ended up both of us riding to the hospital in seperate ambulances...even tho i was fine (altho in total emotional shock)
and the baby was definatly dead....it just seemed like the next thing to do, plus my midwife had already had my mom dial 911....

so i got to live out my worst nightmare of a homebirth....dead baby, hospital transport...
ofcourse most of the hospital staff we delt with treated us like shit.....criminals.......idiots etc....
despite the fact that my dh and i are well educated professionals and parents.
my dr refused to examine me after i refused an iv (i was fine and still trying to birht the placenta....i did not want or need an iv)
and he threatened us with a DFCs case on us (and our 3 yr old healthy homebirthed dd)
just to be mean....

we still do not know if he really did open one on us or not.
the homebirth community around us seems to be freaking out....people really freak out when a baby dies at a homebirth, even if there is every reason to believe that it was not preventable.

we left town to stay up in the mts and heal

i am having to regain my strength and my sanity.

it has been 2 weeks today.
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#2 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 04:03 PM
 
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My son died Sept 26th. He came and went a few hours later. I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through that. All of it. From losing your baby to the doctors treating you like crap.

You'll be in my thoughts.

GREAT MOM to dd (5) and )ds( [sept 26 2006]
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#3 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 04:07 PM
 
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Couldn't read without responding -- I'm so very sorry for your loss, mama. Your dr. and the hospital staff ought to be ashamed of themselves -- how awful for you to have that put on you after what you'd just been through.

Thinking of you over here.
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#4 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 04:56 PM
 
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i'm so sorry mama ... i know how it feels.
the 2yr anniversary of the loss of my ds raven just passed on 10/4.
sending healing vibes your way ...
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#5 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 05:00 PM
 
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I am so sorry mama...

I too am in the south, and I can understand the hostility you met with at the hospital.

I will be remembering you..
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#6 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 05:01 PM
 
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Sorry for your loss, so sorry...

If you had your first baby late, & had good heart tones etc with THIS pregnancy, & the baby had already passed when you were in labor, then there is NO chance that there would have been a different outcome if you had been in a hospital.

You are going through something absolutely horrible, & I am so sad that you have to worry about what ignorant people will do at a time like this.

I wish you peace.
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#7 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 05:01 PM
 
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I am so, so sorry.

I am sorry you are having to deal with what they are trying to put on you for having a homebirth. My ds1 was stillborn and it was a highly medicalized birth. How dare they accuse you of negligence?

You may never get any answers. We *think* my son died of a cord accident but will never know for sure.

Take all the time you need to heal. You will never be the same again. Rain will always be a part of you.

Proud mom to superhero.gifds2 (7/05), angel2.gif ds 1 (born into heaven at 38 weeks 11/03), and 5 more angels angel.gif (4/02) angel.gif (7/10) angel.gifangel.gif (11/10) angel.gif (11/12)

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#8 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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I am so sorry the hospital staff treated you that way, and so very very sorry for the loss of your sweet baby. i wish I had words that could help you heal.
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#9 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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Sorry, Mamma.

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#10 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 05:08 PM
 
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I am so, so deeply sorry for your loss. And sorry for the insensitivity and heartlessness of the hospital staff.
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#11 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 05:14 PM
 
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Oh mama, I am so so so sorry for all that you are going through, most of all for the loss of your daughter. I know you know this, but it bears repeating- you did NOTHING wrong. You made an intelligent, responsible decision about what was safest for your daughter. You could have done nothing to change this.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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#12 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 05:22 PM
 
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... so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Wife and Mama who homeschools-- mostly in the kitchen!
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#13 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 06:08 PM
 
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I am so sorry to learn that Rain is not here with you now, I hope her spirit stays close and you find peace.

Thinking of you and your family
Rachel
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#14 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 06:18 PM
 
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I am so terribly sorry to hear about your baby. Medical people think they are GOD and are truly arrogant fools at times. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this pain and have to also remember a horrible hospital experience on top of it all. Many, many prayers to you......C
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#15 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 06:20 PM
 
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so sorry for your loss. i cant imagine the pain after carrying her for so long and then losing her before you even knew her.
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#16 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 06:23 PM
 
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s
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#17 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 06:28 PM
 
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My heart goes out. How terrible that the hospital would add to your pain. So sorry about the little daughter you will always miss.

"If you only knew how many things I want to say and don't, you'd give me some credit."
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#18 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 06:34 PM
 
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I hope you and your family find strength and love in each other.
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#19 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 06:34 PM
 
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I'm so sorry....

Our first was birn still too so please feel deww to PM me if you ever want to chat..



I'm so sorry...
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#20 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 06:35 PM
 
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I am not in your DDC but wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for your loss, and your bad treatment.
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#21 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 06:36 PM
 
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I am so very sorry for your loss.

New WOHM to DD8 and DD3
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#22 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 07:21 PM
 
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Oh Mama I am SO sorry!!! I hope you take a look at the birth loss boards they are some great mamas & I know will be wonderful support to you. You & your family will be in my thoughts.

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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#23 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 07:35 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Hope you find healing and comfort.

IBCLC, LLLL, Mom to 3, obsessive baker, where's my coffee
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#24 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 08:19 PM
 
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I'm so terribly sorry for your loss, mama, as well as the way you were treated for birthing the natural way. I can't even imagine what you've been through.

I hope your time away helps you to begin the healing process. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers
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#25 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 08:30 PM
 
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Oh mama, my heart aches for you and your family. I hope you can find some support and solace in the community here.

Peaceful mama to three blissfully-birthed and incredible small people: dd10, dd7 and ds5. Always awed and so thankful to be a midwife.
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#26 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 08:34 PM
 
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I am so sorry... I know that saying that doesn't take any of it away but I truly truly am... I can't help but cry. Not only for the fact that you lost your beautiful baby, but also for the way you were treated, some people have NO respect, especially with the pain you must be going through.

My thoughts are with you.
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#27 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 08:36 PM
 
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I am so, so sorry.
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#28 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 08:41 PM
 
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You and your family are in my thoughts mama..Im so sorry that this happend
The doctor and hospital should be absolutely ashamed of themselves
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#29 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 08:43 PM
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I am so very sorry for your loss.
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#30 of 88 Old 10-08-2006, 08:44 PM
 
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not from your DDC but I could not read and not reply...
to you and your family. I am sorry that people are using this to feed into the fear of homebirth. It sound slike you really are in a good place yourself in spite of it all. please take care.

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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