I don't think this is the right place to post this but I don't really know where to post this. I am having serious post partum issues currently I cry all the time, I am fine with the baby it is all related to my body and not knowing why it keeps failing me. For one I was unable to birth my baby naturally this depresses the shit out of me, I am rather small and he is a big boy but I thought nobody carried a baby their body could not handle? And I blame myself for getting the epidural that worked so well I couldn't feel myself push and I was unable to reposition myself, but it took 20 some hours to reach 4 which is where I could get the epidural and that was an intense 20 hours, so I caved, and within an hour I was at 9. For some reason I think I was not allowing myself to dilate. Fear maybe? But after 2 and a half hours and then an hour break another hour into pushing I caved in and let them give me pitocin hoping to help push him out. I knew it would make it hurt worse but the nurse said the epidural was working nicely and I wouldn't feel anything. Lies. I started getting the worse contractions centered on my hip and beneath my ribs it felt like my rib was going to crack open, so I agreed to a c-section. 5 hours of pushing a novel effort. Oh and when the doctor finally showed up during my second round of pushing he broke my water and very little came out. And at one point they could see evans little head but he was caught up under my pelvis somehow....
During the c-section my right arm shaked violently when I brought it up my left arm started, then I heard everyone sort of sounding panicked and they whisked my boyfriend out with baby (I thought they just had to run things on baby and I had told them he was to be with baby whenever I could not) but he said they forced him to go quickly because I had turned purple. My blood pressure I can't remember if it dropped or rose but my heart rate was over 170 at one point. It's usually around upper 80's lower 90's for me. They told me they were giving me anti biotics and demerol and then everything went black. I woke up 3 hours later and they transferred me to recovery. They didn't know any of my babys stats and called up and told me he was 21 inches and 8 pounds 15 ounces.. Then they brought me up to my room and it took half an hour for them to bring evan and james to me.....
Night 2 my doctor told me they would be removing my catheter as soon as they could.. day 3 mid day a nurse told me they hadn't removed the catheter yet because I "wasn't outputting as much as inputting" a nurse then noticed that there was a kink in the hose!!!! She unkinked it and I watched what appeared to be a gallon of fluid come gushing out! They then left the catheter in an additional 6-8 hours and never ran any sort of bladder uti tests before discharging me. They pretty much talked down on me day 4 because I wasn't moving around as much as they wanted to and was slacking compared to the average patient. It made me feel cruddy looking back I am pissed because of their incompetency I was trapped to the bed for nearly a full extra day! Unnesecarily!!
I have not felt my bladder since the monday I delivered. I wasn't concerned about it too much at first just figured it was a side effect of drugs or whatever maybe some swelling. I did pretty much have a vag and c-section birth... 2 days after release I woke up from a nap on our couch, and my bladder completely let itself go. I have not been able to control my bladder at all since. We called our doctor that night and he gave some lame bruised bladder nerves explanation. He did not seem to understand the severity of this. I know some incontinence is normal but this isn't a little dribble with a sneeze, this is full on pissing myself uncontrollably, me walking through the house sobbing hysterically as urine runs down my leg incontinece. Which was only resolved when I resigned and got the actual adult diapers instead of just using pads.. But I leak sometimes still, and those are 15 bucks for 17. This is getting expensive..
Monday I went in and I have a severe uti. (oh really? you think? ) so I am on antibiotics for that. But I still can not feel my bladder at all.
Oh and I have a weeping spot on my c section wound that they had to cut open and the doctor monday had us buy a bunch of supplies and was having james repack and cover it twice a day yesterday the other doctor told him to just cover it because its not pussy but healthy cells and it will close up and heal. the rest of it seems to be healing well, but this is gross and I can feel it leaking when I stretch out and it makes sleep hard.
SO I am still wearing diapers. I still cant feel my bladder. I have slept so little, I cry so much. My baby is an angel he sleeps all the time and I would be fine, but I hate sleeping because I wake up in so much pain and just a one hour nap fills up a diaper... I have an appointment with an urologist on the 30th. He is going to want to shove a camera up my urethra, and there is a chance I may never regain bladder control. I either damaged it from pushing so much or else when they cut me open evan was engaged pretty deep in the birth canal and they had to reach down and pull him up and the doctor said that created a gap between the uterus and bladder (?????)
I am so pissed off at my body. Why is it failing me? My boyfriend thinks the doctors messed a bunch of stuff up with my labor but I am not sure. They don't seem to be taking me seriously currently though. I am considering getting a second party to take a look at my weeping c section wound track, but having medicaid makes it more difficult. *sigh*
Oh and during my c-section they had a medical student present even though I stated in my birth plan and twice verbally and my boyfriend verbally that I wanted no medical students or student doctors present at all. Also my doctor didn't show up until nearly 5 hours of pushing and within 20 minutes was suggesting a c-section. I think the nurse started me on pushing way too soon and the doctor came way to late. I thought laboring moms were a bigger priority then office patients??