I really need to rant! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 01-05-2007, 12:19 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi Mama's. It's been a long time, and it's crummy that my post is a rant, but I'm really upset and I wanted to share with you guys in the hopes that you will talk some sense into me! Ok-here's the story. I had a close friend attend Lily's birth for 2 reasons. First to video it, but mainly I wanted her to see a natural birth so that she would be inspired to have a VBAC. She was pregnant at the time, and had an "emergency" C-section with her first child (this one will be her 2nd). I knew she didn't have much confidence in her body, so I wanted to show her that she can do it. We have talked a lot about her birth experience. About hospital interventions. You know, the whole 9 yards. I never pushed my beliefs on her, I just shared my knowledge and experiences. After Lily was born (her birth was most awesome and Fun!) my friend said she was going to go naturally. She said if I could do it she could! I was so excited, that was my main
reason for wanting her to attend. Well, I have recently (New Years Eve) found out that she has changed her mind, and is now having a scheduled C-section! I can't freakin believe it. I am upset because I can't believe that some people choose to be uneducated sheep about birth. I'm sorry that is so harsh, but I'm really pissed off right now. I also feel really ineffective. Like I can't affect any change. I don't know what else I could have done. I failed. And now my friend and her sweet one will be in the hands of an OB with a knife. What a crappy situation.
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#2 of 3 Old 01-05-2007, 04:26 PM
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Hey mama-
My heart goes out to you because I too have been in your situation. You need to know that you didn't fail. Unfortunately you cannot force your friend to do what, in your heart and mind, you know is best...and she may very well regret her decision after her own birth. Would you be comfortable asking her why she is making such a decision? (especially after witnessing first hand how amazing natural birth is?) Keep up the good fight and don't give up being an agent for positive change. Even if this one gets by, there are plenty of others who will appreciate and value your experience and knowledge.

J - Birth doula and *very* grateful mama to bouncy Q, fancy F, and mighty F!

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#3 of 3 Old 01-05-2007, 05:20 PM
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Originally Posted by quinbearzmama View Post
Would you be comfortable asking her why she is making such a decision? (especially after witnessing first hand how amazing natural birth is?)
Rather than stewing in your upset, I would talk to her about it. She could possible have a valid reason. They are few & far between, but they are out there

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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