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People wanting to attend birth

478 views 3 replies 4 participants last post by  1stbaby3rddaughter 
#1 ·
So I always hear about this but never had to experience it for myself until now. I have an old friend that I haven't had much to do with for the last 5+ years. We are just in completely different places in our lives, I have moved on, and she hasn't. I still talk to her once in a while, I don't contact her but when she calls, I'm friendly and will return her call and meet her for coffee once or two a year. To her I am still her "best friend", we were in high school, she really has no other friends, and she always seems to be in a rough patch, drug addiction, custody battle, facing jail time, abusive boyfriend.... it is never ending. I met her last week for the first time this year, and she has been calling almost every day since then, usually months will go by without a call. Anyway, tonight she finally got around to saying that she wanted to be at this baby's birth.
She has 3 dc herself, two pgs (a set of twins) both planned C-Secs. I'm having a HB with minimal people, just DH, DD and a MW, and honestly I'd be happy if it was just me.
I really prefer to be alone. I spent forever trying to be polite before I just had to be really firm and say absolutely not happening. I was just floored that she would even ask, I would never, ever ask to attend anyone's birth, if someone wants me there there will ask.
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#2 ·
Wow, she is brave to ask such a question given your history with her. Maybe she just wants to witness a very different experience than she had. Anyway, I am so glad that you were firm and said "no". I fully support you in having who you want at the birth. Way to go!!
 
#3 ·
Good job on being firm, I'm also planning a homebirth (in a watertub), and I can relate to your wish to wanting to be alone....however in reality my hubby really wants to be here, and to have the midwife here, so I'm also going to have 2 doulas as well....but they are a team i trust to know when to give me space.

I also have a slightly disfunctional friend who asked if she could attend "because she never got to attend a birth that wasn't happening to her." I wasn't as direct in my response as you, but fortunatly she hasn't brought it up again.

It's kind of weird for them to ask to attend, but I also guess it is a big compliment.
 
#4 ·
I totally understand, I've said for many years that no one but my husband will be there, peolple keep telling me that once you're in such pain you don't care anymore; the problem is I want to have a natural birth and my dad's wife stood up at my baby shower and preceeded to tell everyone that she's going to be my coach and that she'll be there "massaging" me, I don't know how else I can explain my "husband only" will be allowed in the room
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