The act that put us all in our current positions... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 01:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I need to vent a little frusteration here. And ask moms who've had sections before how long til they were "OK'd" to partake in the particular act that got us all preggo... :

I've been lacking for about 4 weeks, possibly a few days longer than that. Mainly because when they reduced my work hours they made it CLEAR they'd prefer bedrest and that NO HANKY PANKY was allowed. DH took that seriously. So much so he told me to not even try and appease myself because he's scared of throwing me into labor (and seeing the hour 1/2 drive we have to get to the hospital given NO traffic/construction/accidents I can understand)...


BUT I WANNA WANNA WANNA have some!!!

And it doesn't help that since I'm dialated to 4, have been having contrax for the last two days, painful might I add along with leaking sticky stuff for 3-4 days I can't seem to convince the hubby to even attempt.


Are any of you mommas experiencing no hanky panky due to mood, lack of want, uncomfyness... ANYTHING??? Please make me feel not so alone....

How long after a section until I'm ok'd to have fun again??

I miss it...

GREAT MOM to dd (5) and )ds( [sept 26 2006]
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#2 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 01:15 AM
 
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We currently aren't DTD here... Not because we don't want to, our schedules just haven't allowed it. The kids were napping one afternoon and we started to get into some action, then my parents knocked on the door and woke my son up.

After a c-section, they say 6 weeks, just like a vaginal birth. I say whenever you feel up to it again.
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#3 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 02:51 AM
 
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I may not be in the same boat as you re: c-section but I completely understand the frustration of no "action". At the end of my last pregnancy I remember practically begging DH for some lovin' and this time it's been even harder to convince him that the baby WILL NOT come out with a dent on his head.
He also feels guilty when he can see how hard it for me to walk and how uncomfortable I am, but as I said to him just the other night - just because I'm pregnant that doesn't mean that I don't deserve SOME form of pleasure!

I feel your frustration but if you're dilated to 4 and have other stuff going on to I can just offer HUGS ! Maybe you could train yourself to have super seductive dreams, then you might feel some release of pressure when you wake up!
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#4 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 03:00 AM
 
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I always find sex to be very painful during the last part of pregnancy. I was on bedrest during the middle of my 2yo's pregnancy and found that I wanted to do it more becuase I couldn't. That sucked.

Soon you will have your baby and you won't remember what sex is for a while.
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#5 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 08:53 PM
 
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I'm the opposite! I have had no desire whatsoever and I feel so badly for poor DH. Between the hyperemesis in the beginning (yeah, there was no WAY I was having sex with him when the thought of even sitting up made me nauseus) to just having low sex drive has been really frustrating for him. LOL....I'm now feeling guilty, maybe I should seduce him tonight or something to make up for the lack of action he's been getting. It doesn't help though that I want to go to bed between 9:30 and 10 and he doesn't want to sleep until long after 11.

That's too bad though that the docs have given you the "no hanky panky" rule and you're in the mood! I've read that a pregnant woman's libido goes up in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters....maybe there are some other things you guys can do in the meantime? Massage....snuggling....romantic walk....I know nothing beats the actual act itself, but at least this way you're able to be physical in a "no hanky panky" way?!?!
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#6 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 08:58 PM
 
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My body missed the note where it said the libido is upped in the 3rd tri In my second trimester I couldn't get enough - now I can't even think about it.: It actually has worked out good for us both. The BF is so stressed at his current job and when he is stressed, he has zero interest in sex.

We still get in lots of snuggling time though. Us, the cat, and the dog all pile on the bed about an hour before we want to sleep and hang out. Good times :-)

\m/

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#7 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 09:01 PM
 
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Well, we are having all the fun! When DH sees me coming, he runs the other way. He said he is tired, lol. I keep telling him to think of the 6+ weeks he will be getting NONE!
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#8 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 10:03 PM
 
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My trouble is that we both want to but every time we try it's just so darned uncomfortable for me and then we both get frustrated. Anyone got any good positioning suggestions?
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#9 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 10:06 PM
 
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I have to say I am one of those with ZERO interest when pregnant. Since I haven't even been able to sleep near DH in months I haven't even had the opportunity. With twins coming, well, It's gonna be a long long while yet. Poor DH.

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
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#10 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 10:07 PM
 
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yeah 6 weeks!

But we always did it sooner.

By the way, please please use protection. I had a friend of mine, she has twins in the end of july and ovulated 2 weeks later, bam! guess what?
PREGGO!!! Yup, only 2 weeks after birth of twins!
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#11 of 23 Old 09-18-2006, 10:11 PM
 
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Quote:
And ask moms who've had sections before how long til they were "OK'd" to partake in the particular act that got us all preggo...
At my 2 week post op appt I got the okay to have sex after 6 weeks. I think we did around 4-5 weeks though. I felt great. Listen to your body, you'll know if it's the right time or not. I think the first attempt was stopped because I wasn't feeling good about it. Something seemed off, or I was just scared.
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#12 of 23 Old 09-19-2006, 01:02 AM
 
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We still have sex every once and a while, but I'm not enjoying it anymore. I'm just too large and all full up down there for it to be fun for me.

Mom to Dakota (6), Coy, (4), Max, (4), Lily (4), and Auri (June 19th 2010)!
Visit Lily's site at www.caringbridge.org/visit/lilymathis1
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#13 of 23 Old 09-19-2006, 07:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambrose View Post

Are any of you mommas experiencing no hanky panky due to mood, lack of want, uncomfyness... ANYTHING??? Please make me feel not so alone....

How long after a section until I'm ok'd to have fun again??

I miss it...
Oh we used to a LOT. It's been weeks, and even that wasn't a complete session - I was sore and made him stop. And I don't want it at all! Poor DH!! I feel bad too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamama View Post
My trouble is that we both want to but every time we try it's just so darned uncomfortable for me and then we both get frustrated. Anyone got any good positioning suggestions?
No! None of them are at all worth it. We've given up.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi
My Livi bear 10/26/2006
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#14 of 23 Old 09-19-2006, 09:18 PM
 
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With #2 I was on bed rest....no lovin's for 10 weeks....I just about lost my mind!!!: I think it was even worse because someone told us we CAN"T....maybe its the rebel in me When I finally hit the 37 weeks mark and was given the OK we were practically ripping eachother apart : :

I think all that waiting patiently made for one heck of a reunion!!!

As far as when its okay to do the "DEED" again, I would say when YOU feel ready, it may be 6 weeks, it may be more, or less. Every women heals differently, regardless of weather its surgical or vaginal. Focus on healing and trust your body...and when your ready........go nuts
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#15 of 23 Old 09-19-2006, 11:06 PM
 
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One of the ways I know I'm pregnant before I test is because my ability to orgasm from sex completely leaves. Overnight. I have no idea why. Throughout pregnancy I cannot, CANNOT reach climax from sex alone...
So, while I do enjoy it, I don't enjoy it.

DH and I are still, very ocassionally, having sex. But the frequency has really gone down. Not only from my lack of desire but because I'm huge and awkward. Getting into a comfortable position that doesn't cause pain or heartburn is really hard. Plus DH is 6'4" and I'm 5' - that already limits a lot of things we can do, add on a MASSIVE belly and you do the math!

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

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#16 of 23 Old 09-20-2006, 12:54 AM
 
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Oh my poor hubby!!! My desire has been gone for the past 5 months, with a UTI and recurrent yeast infections, I want nothing. We still do it like once every 2 weeks (when he starts to get grumpy, I just know it's time to give him some), but I can't climax for the life of me plus just like little teapot i'm 5.5 and he's 6.5 not to mention my huge belly. I hope it all goes back to the way it was before I got pregnant
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#17 of 23 Old 09-20-2006, 01:23 AM
 
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Oh! I forgot to answer your questions about c-sections and sex...
I started having sex less than two weeks after my section. It's what got me in the position of having my third baby less than a year after my second.

With both vaginal and c-section the real guideline is just "when you're okay with it". If you have vaginal stitches, best to use a condom until they're healed over. And make sure you use plenty of lube either way, you WILL be dry.

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

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#18 of 23 Old 09-20-2006, 12:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by littleteapot View Post
Oh! I forgot to answer your questions about c-sections and sex...
I started having sex less than two weeks after my section. It's what got me in the position of having my third baby less than a year after my second.

With both vaginal and c-section the real guideline is just "when you're okay with it". If you have vaginal stitches, best to use a condom until they're healed over. And make sure you use plenty of lube either way, you WILL be dry.
Lube.........good advice!! Some natural lube's??? other the olive oil??
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#19 of 23 Old 09-20-2006, 03:40 PM
 
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I don't use an all-natural kind, I use Probe. I'm allergic to everything, including KY Jelly and Probe is one of TWO kinds I can use without breaking out in a rash (and that's really uncool, let me tell you!).

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

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#20 of 23 Old 09-20-2006, 07:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamama View Post
My trouble is that we both want to but every time we try it's just so darned uncomfortable for me and then we both get frustrated. Anyone got any good positioning suggestions?
:

We were doing pretty well up until very recently . . . of course it doesn't help that my body gets so sore by the late afternoon, and dh gets home from work in the evening. Sigh.

(Warning: Possible TMI ahead.) The only two positions that work for us at all anymore, are side by side, and me on top, but with the first I never have enjoyed it quite as much, so I don't usually climax, and with the second, lately, I am so dang tired and sore in the torso from holding up belly weight all day that I practically fall off. Lol. Anything with me on my back is too uncomfortable so that rules out a lot. And of course anything where we are tummy to tummy doesn't work as my tummy is a big obstacle.

What really helps is a nice long massage beforehand, and me not being too sleepy to begin with, but when do we have that much private time-- at a time when the toddler is asleep but I'm not too sleepy yet? Hasn't happened lately. Oh well . . . at least my hubby is very understanding.

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#21 of 23 Old 09-20-2006, 08:10 PM
 
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All fours, or a modified all-fours (bent over a bed) work for me. I can't do me-on-top very well, my hips splay too far and end up popping out. Side byside is good too, but I end up with heartburn.

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

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#22 of 23 Old 09-21-2006, 03:16 PM
 
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I am still 'getting some' 1-2 times a day : It is getting more difficult, though. I have found that laying on my back with a pillow under my head and my partner standing next to the bed seems to work. Also, laying on my side with him behind me on his side works for me, but not so much for him. Good luck!
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#23 of 23 Old 09-21-2006, 04:15 PM
 
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Hmmmm, we've been given the "OFF LIMITS" directive since the moment the "pregnant" showed up on the test...for a variety of reasons. This of course, means, no no no since January and no no no (well, maybe after they remove my cerclage they'll let us...but I'll have to decide if I share that info with DH) until almost January again. Poor, poor DH...he's the one with the drive!!!
Props to you mommas who are getting so much!
When it's taken away from you, you sure do want it more, isn't that how it goes?!?!
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