Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Barrie, Ontario
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OK, so I will preface this by saying I'm not trying to offend anyone if my views are not shared by others on this board when it comes to naming babies.
I really like it when babies have their own name that is unique to them and then honouring a family name as the middle name. For example, my name is Andrea Beth - Andrea was chosen by my parents and Beth was a shortened form of Elizabeth, a name that runs in both my parents' families.
My husband's family however has recycled the same two names over and over again in the immediate family so many times that its confusing at family get-togethers. Thomas and John.
My husband's name is Thomas as is his father's, maternal uncle's, and cousin's. His middle name is John which is also the name of his father, brother-in-law, nephew, two cousins, and one uncle. His mother calls him by that name (John) and he calls his mom by the name John as well (don't ask, I can't figure it out for the life of me...) Oh, and this just isn't a "male" thing - they've recylced three female names as well and name the first daughters after the moms or aunts, etc.
Here are the challenges I have with this:
1. At family gatherings, if you call out the name "John" or "Tom", you get eight or so people who respond.
2. We get his father's mail (even though we live two towns away from him)
3. My DH's nephew (who has the same name as his father, John) is called by his middle name (not one that runs in the family) b/c it is already confusing at that household for there to be two John's....and our nephew is only 15 months old.
I just think that kids should have their own name, their own identity. I think its wonderful to honour a family member by using it as a middle name. I also think that a child should be called by their name, not their middle name for the sake of lack of confusion (I mean, it wasn't hard to see that coming, why not just call him by a unique name and then have the middle name honoured?).
ANYHOW, long story short, my husband wants our child, if its a boy, to be named after him with the exact same name. He's willing to waiver on the middle name b/c (to quote) "if it does get confusing, then we can call him by his middle name", which just totally irritates me. I have asked that we honour his name as the middle name instead and he goes on and on about tradition in his family. He is completely oblivious to the fact that there are so many Tom's and John's in his family.
And when I bring up how its tradition in my family to honour a name as the middle name, he thinks that's not good enough.
This has become an ongoing debate in our household over since week one when he exclaimed that if its a boy, he can't wait to meet "Thomas John". I was shocked at this and we decided we'd sit on it until later months b/c we didn't want to argue. Well, now its later months and we're still frustrated with one another's points of view.
Does anyone (on either side of the debate) have a good suggestion as to how to calm the waters over this baby name? I'm at the point where I'm praying its a girl b/c I don't even want to have to deal with the onslaught of "why WOULDN'T you name is Thomas John" questions that will come our way....
Help! (Sorry this turned out into such a long drawn-out post....I'm just so frustrated!)