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#31 of 42 Old 11-06-2006, 02:45 PM
 
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Oh Jaya, my heart is just breaking for you. I'm so very sorry, mama. I can't possibly imagine how much hurt you have in you right now.

I am so glad your little girl has you to hold her while she cries. My mom almost passed away when I was born and I'm grateful - so grateful - that she's still here. Your presence means more to your daughter than you'll ever know.

Sending you love and strength in these difficult times. I'm always thinking about you and your sweet little angel
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#32 of 42 Old 11-06-2006, 04:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ariahsmum View Post
oh dear god you guys, it is worse than hell...

everything they say is true- it just feels like a dream, a nightmare... you keep waiting to wake up.

i need to post the story- honestly, not sure where to post- here or UC or in birth loss... I feel like I fit no where anymore.

it is the worst possible scenario, other than the scenario where i die instead of choosing life. at least my little girl and her daddy have me still.. it was as close as you could possibly come to dying...

and not only is my dear baby gone...

my uterus went with him.

i'm 33. I have no baby and no womb.

i just spent the last 2 hours holding dd who is just so sad. she is crying and wanting to never leave me. of course she can't express her feelings at this point... just shows me her anger and her tears. it is ripping my heart out.

more later...
Post it wherever you need to. All over if you need to.
I wrote my son's story right after I came home from the hospital and posted it on my blog. That month it got over 14'000 views and I received letters and emails from so many people, I even got letters from the MOTHERS of people who read my blog who lost children over 40 years ago. One of them made me a prayer shawl. It is amazing the kind of outpouring of support you can find online, and even though right now it may feel like it's all just rolling off your skin... eventually the impact of everyone's words will hit you and you'll feel so grateful for it all.
Don't feel guilty right now when the words seem empty and you can't seem to respond to anyone: it will start to pass slowly. Everyone knows, and no one expects you to thank them or even look them in the eye. Just hear the words and put them away for a time when you can use them.

Writing it out is very healing, and very important... say it when you're ready and share it only with who you're comfortable reading it. But, have it there, somewhere. I still go back and read my son's birth story at least once a week.

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

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#33 of 42 Old 11-06-2006, 04:29 PM
 
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I don't know you, but I am so, so sorry for you. I can't even imagine. You have my love.
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#34 of 42 Old 11-06-2006, 04:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamanurse View Post
I'm not in DDC, but couldn't read without posting.

for Jaya and her family
Same here.

I'm so,so sorry for the whole family's loss, and thankful that she survived the ordeal.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#35 of 42 Old 11-06-2006, 05:16 PM
 
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Jaya,
I don't even know the words to say to you right now-except that I'm beyond sorry for the loss of your precious son Trace

Sending prayers & healing thoughts to you, your DH & DD.
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#36 of 42 Old 11-06-2006, 06:09 PM
 
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Glad to see you back online. HUGS for your whole family....

Doula, Wife and mom to A (11/23/01) and O (5/7/09)
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#37 of 42 Old 11-07-2006, 01:16 PM
 
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Jaya, I think about you every single day. I wish I could take just a tiny bit of your pain away. Really there are just no words to express how sorry I am. It's not much and I know that but you are in my thoughts and my heart.


Heather

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#38 of 42 Old 11-07-2006, 05:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ariahsmum View Post
oh dear god you guys, it is worse than hell...

everything they say is true- it just feels like a dream, a nightmare... you keep waiting to wake up.

i need to post the story- honestly, not sure where to post- here or UC or in birth loss... I feel like I fit no where anymore.

it is the worst possible scenario, other than the scenario where i die instead of choosing life. at least my little girl and her daddy have me still.. it was as close as you could possibly come to dying...

and not only is my dear baby gone...

my uterus went with him.

i'm 33. I have no baby and no womb.

i just spent the last 2 hours holding dd who is just so sad. she is crying and wanting to never leave me. of course she can't express her feelings at this point... just shows me her anger and her tears. it is ripping my heart out.

more later...
((((hugs, jaya))))
I'm so sorry. There are no words, and you're right... it's like a dream.
I'm thinking of you.
Write it out when you're ready... Babs is right- it is very healing.

Jayme-
Boy13, Boy12, Boy10, Girl7, Girl5, Twin Boys 6/14/09
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#39 of 42 Old 11-07-2006, 06:47 PM
 
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Hey Jayme, how are you doing? I've been thinking of you, too
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#40 of 42 Old 11-07-2006, 06:50 PM
 
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I'm so terribly sorry for you and your family's losses.
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#41 of 42 Old 11-08-2006, 12:56 AM
 
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Originally Posted by deleria View Post
Hey Jayme, how are you doing? I've been thinking of you, too
I'm doing ok, some days better than others... right now I'm just trying to spend as much time as possible with my husband- he's deploying in less than two weeks... just kind of nervous about that- I feel like I'm losing the one person who truely understands & my best friend when I need him most.

Jayme-
Boy13, Boy12, Boy10, Girl7, Girl5, Twin Boys 6/14/09
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#42 of 42 Old 11-08-2006, 01:06 AM
 
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So very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you and your famly.

11/06 and 1/09 :
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