We've been having a bit of a rough time too and I was beginning to feel like we were the only ones! DD is 2.5YO. Throughout the pregnancy and birth we did everything to keep her as involved as possible. I was hoping that would help with bonding and to lessen rivalry. She was GREAT right after the birth -- very concerned and excited about him, kissing and hugging him, talking to him all the time, etc. Then within a couple of days she started trying to hit or shove his head, mainly when I was nursing him. She even managed to push his head off my breast twice. She also tries to "bounce" -- or her word for it "bomp" -- the bouncy seat when he is in it. She also goes after him when he is in his co-sleeper for a diaper change. She sort of shoves him and throws diapers at him. She is still often sweet with him and regularly gives him gentle hugs and kisses, but the aggressive behavior is challenging. She hasn't said anything negative about him but her behavior obviously suggests jealously. It makes me sad and brings up all kinds of feelings. I love her so much too but I have to protect my son as well. I often feel very conflicted. I need to love and protect both of them and I am not always sure how to do this. We have tried giving her hugs and reminding her how much we love her when she acts aggressively. Along with telling her it is not okay to hurt her brother. The last two days it has been even worse. It is really stressing me out because it is just the three of us for 10.5 hours a day five days a week (when DH is at work). It makes me feel like I am failing as a mother to her since I assume she is not getting enough attention and that is why she is doing this. I feel guilty when I am with DD and then I feel guilty when I am with DS. I am trying to wear him as much as I can but honestly I am sooooo not good at baby wearing. I have one wrap that works but it takes me so long to get him in it and then I can't figure out how to nurse him in it for the life of me! I have tried and tried. And on top of all this we have all (except for DH) been sick with a cold and I had mastitis last week and still have a lump in my breast that needs to get dealt with . . . argghhh. This too shall pass, right?
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