less then great baby moon - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 11-04-2006, 02:28 PM - Thread Starter
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My entire pg I just hoped DH would take time off, he has a very demanding career, time off never happens, I can't tell you how many vacations we've had to cancel last minute or return from early because there is some emergency going on. He was supposed to take 2 weeks off, he hasn't had two weeks off, well in ever. So DH is home, he did manage to take the time off but it definately wasn't the family bonding time I had hoped for.

First off he has been sick the entire 2 weeks, DH rarely gets sick, and when it does he just continues on, he never not works because of it. He has been miserable for all of this week, he actually caved yesterday and went into urgent care, he felt that bad. Now dd1 is getting it, just in time for DH to return to work on Monday. Because DH hasn't felt the best he has been short with dd1 so they have been fighting the entire 2 weeks.

Which leads into the next issue, DH works alot, and I'm at home with dd1, who is intense and sensitive (just like her father), you have to handle her with kid gloves. I know how to handle her, DH doesn't, it normally isn't an issue because they only spend a short time in the evenings together, and then the weekends when DH isn't working, so DD1 is usually on her best behavior during her little bit of daddy time. This two weeks have been one big test for DH, DD1 pushes his buttons every 2 seconds since they have the same triggers, he responses in some crazy way like telling her she has made him mad and now he has to go away. : Yeah, my house has not been peaceful. DH also can't say no to her, I think I own every Dora toy made now, they come home with something new everyday. Plus dd1 now knows there are evil products out there like Dora yogurt and Dora soup, hence one of the many reasons I shop at HFS not Wal-Mart, but DH doesn't get that.

I haven't had any issues with dd1 showing jealousy towards dd2, rather I have to stop her from kissing her too much, all my issues have been between DH and DD1. In some ways I can't wait for DH to return to work, in other ways I know I am going to have major battles with her over things DH has let her get away with for 2 weeks, I'm not looking forward to that.

So I can't be the only one with a less then perfect baby moon, anyone else?

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#2 of 9 Old 11-04-2006, 02:58 PM
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That sounds really rough. I hope next weeks goes better than you expect it too!

We could ony afford for dh to take one week off and he only got paid for 3.5 days of that. That's all the vacation time he had, it takes a looong time to get vac. days at his work. Anyway, it was mostly okay having him home but he isn't as good with our kids as I am so there were some conflicts. My 5yr. old ds has been acting out a lot and that has been so hard on me. He has always been a pretty well behaved , laid back guy but having a new brother has thrown him for a major loop (poor guy). My dd has always been very very spirited and so she is bascially being herself but that is pretty intense and with ds1 acting out I have about lost it a few times.
Thank goodness Jove ,our new little guy, is a very calm and easy going baby!!!!!!!!!!!

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#3 of 9 Old 11-04-2006, 05:56 PM
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We've been having a bit of a difficult time too. DD for the most part LOVES her new brother and gives him lots of kisses and hugs and is really interested in him. But she is occasionally aggressive too. She tries to hit or shove his head (mainly when I'm nursing) and she keeps pulling this toy thing from his co-sleeper which is serving as his changing area. Last night she was throwing diapers at him too. I'm so afraid of her hurting him. I feel like I can't turn my back for even a minute. She now has a "nursing box" of toys to play with just when I'm nursing him and it seems to be helping a little, but she is still jealous.

We haven't been in good health either. I had some serious baby blues the first two weeks. DH was able to take one week off and my mom was here for two. When I was 10 days PP I came down with mastitis. Not fun. Now I have a residual lump in my breast that won't go away. I've tried and tried. I am having an ultrasound done on Monday. There has been talk of surgery, but that totally freaks me out for several reasons. My affected breast is very engorged now too because of the therapeutic ultrasound I did, massage, and pumping that I was doing for several days to try to get rid of the lump. I am so worried the mastitis will come back! I don't want to take antibiotics again, especially because I wound up getting really bad, scary heartburn during the last two days I was taking them. (Still dealing with PP bleeding, a healing perineum, and hemmroids too).

And then on Wednesday DD comes down with this nasty cold. Her nose has never run this much! Two days ago our 3 week old catches it. He is stuffed up and coughing and sneezing. Now I have a sore throat. Lovely. We also were having trouble with DS's belly button, goopy eyes, mucousy poop, and general fussiness. I also feel constantly torn between giving him attention or giving DD attention. I also have to take care of my own body and health. It seems like a real struggle right now.

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#4 of 9 Old 11-05-2006, 02:53 PM
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Here's hoping everything gets back to normal very soon for you! Our life has been chaos too for the last month with everyone in town. I'm sort of looking forward to taking a day or two off, just me and the girls hanging out and bonding.
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#5 of 9 Old 11-08-2006, 05:10 PM
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Checking in on less than perfect babymoon! We spent the one week DH had off in NICU. DS wasn't that critical, but it was the only available bed at the hospital, which meant we had to follow NICU procedures and protocols. What a drag! I think it really robbed us of time to adjust to being a family before having to get back to the grind. Trying not to be resentful, but still really struggling.
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#6 of 9 Old 11-08-2006, 09:27 PM
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nak hugs mamas. my babymoon is thankfully off to a good start, just learning how to be a mom. DD is so awesome. DH is helping where he can but he is only taking 1 week off. Awen is a super nurser, like ALL the time so I am constantly bf but I know it is making her srong and healthy. I do not know how you moms with more than one DC do it. You are amazing!!! Still a bit sore from delivery but it gets better everyday. Hang in there and enjoy your beautiful babes!

11/06 and 1/09 :
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#7 of 9 Old 11-08-2006, 10:44 PM
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Sorry thimngs weren't working out for you. I just have to say "babymoon? what's that??" dh took a week "off" from work and ended up working from home most of the week so I am basically the sole caregiver for 2 kids and we have certainly had our bad moments. I'm glad my postpartum recovery was really easy and I'm the type of person who thrives on lots of activity.

Mom of (11/27/03) and (9/29/06).
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#8 of 9 Old 11-09-2006, 12:02 AM
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: here too.Besides having to birth alone thanks to dh's court hearing but also had to care for my 5 children all alone the entire day by myself after giving birth.No easy task.Then i spent the whole weekend cleaning while dh slept and did some outside work.Two days after birthing i was back to getting up at 6am and taking the kids to school with a newborn,1 year old and a 4 year old in tow.I have no clue how i physically healed from such an intense labor,considering.I do feel alot of depression and anxiety though.I know that could've been helped with rest and relaxation.Honestly i feel bad for myself.Right now my 1 year old has an ear infection and a horrible cough and will not let me put her down,my other dd has a fever of 102 and a bad headache and my other babe has a bad cough as well.Oh and i have to care for a newborn.Alone.While my husband is away visiting friends.Nice,huh?I am trying so hard to keep it together.
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#9 of 9 Old 11-09-2006, 04:28 AM
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Avani, sending you love and strength.

11/06 and 1/09 :
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