Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Barrie, Ontario
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I may offer a bit of a different perspective. Yes, you might not be able to have everything done as perfectly as you would normally have it (house work, taking care of kids, dinner, Christmas, etc.) BUT you staying at home with your children all day is a full time job too! In fact, its a 24 hour job. I had issues with my DH when Caleigh first arrived b/c he would come home and not understand why I couldn't just sleep while she slept during the day so that it wasn't such an issue at night. We sat down and talked and now he realizes that just b/c he brings home a paycheque and I don't, doesn't mean that my job isn't as busy (if not busier) and as energy-consuming.
I can't nap during the day very well anyhow. I like to take that time to get things done and have some "me" time - whether it be knitting or reading a magazine or even just having a cup of tea. Because when he comes home at night and Caleigh won't calm down, it falls on my shoulders. So, he does have the luxury of watching tv or doing what he wants to do. He had to realize that at 5 am after I nursed her, he had to pitch in once in a while and help with calming her down, changing her diaper, or whatever so that I could get an extra hour of sleep.
So, I think its a compromise. I don't rely on him every day to help out when she's crying or needs attention but he did have to realize that just b/c I "stay at home" doesn't mean I'm not exhausted and need his help when he's home.
Does that make sense? Is there a way you two can work it so that he knows maybe two or three nights a week he'll have to help you out more than normal?