Anyone else just not called yet? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 12:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Has anyone else not called a doctor yet? I haven't, here's my problem:
A) There are no good midwives around here, the closest one is about 1.5hrs away, I've spoken with her before I even got pregnant, she basically promised me a spot, now that I'm pregnant, she said she can't promise it because I got pregnant at a "busy time" for her First off, you do not promise someone care & then 'not promise' it!!
B) I don't want to go to a doctor because...well...their pushy. I do not want any tests, u/s, or invasive treatments & every doctor I called basically said "It's our way or piss off" :
C) I originally wanted to go unassisted, but now that I'm actually there & pregnant after trying for so long, I'm panicing about being sure I do everything in my power to make the best start for this baby. KWIM? All my reading, reseach & time spent learning my body & pregnancy just don't seem like enough.

Anyone else in my situation?
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#2 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 12:45 AM
 
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I do understand your dilemma, and that's a real shame about your midwife.

Just wanted to throw this out there though... if you're not going to have any tests, ultrasounds, interventions etc... what can a doctor really do for you that you can't do yourself?

Peaceful mama to three blissfully-birthed and incredible small people: dd10, dd7 and ds5. Always awed and so thankful to be a midwife.
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#3 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 12:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know, nothing I guess. I think it's more of me just being a big worrier/wimp. DH is also giving me about 50% support with the unassisted thing..
I guess I just want someone to tell me I'm doing the right thing, that's basically what I wanted the midwife for. Someone to ask questions/discuss issues with.
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#4 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 12:55 AM
 
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ugh. that sucks about your midwife and that there just aren't any others around you.

i can't say i'm in your situation, but i haven't called a dr. yet because i'm trying to figure out who i want to see. i pretty much have to use an OB this time around because of complications (HELLP syndrome and a subchorionic tear) with DD 1. i'd like to use my family practitioner, but she said she doesn't feel comfy w/ me due to my history. so the search continues...

good luck!
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#5 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 01:01 AM
 
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The only reason I have called the doctor already is because I had my yearly exam scheduled for next Monday and wanted to let them know the appointment was going to be slightly more than a pap (it's a small, rural clinic that I go to - doctor there only every other Monday). Otherwise, I probably would have waited until at least 12 weeks. I'm already taking my prenatals, this doctor was mine through my last pregnancy (and was great about us waiving everything... only test I had was blood type because I didn't know and glucose because I'm overweight... and I'm looking for other options on that this time).

Don't get discouraged, and don't necessarily write off all doctors. I know there's an idea that doctors are all test-happy... but some aren't. If you're still looking for a provider, contact a local healthfood store or the closest LLL group and ask around... someone will be able to help you find someone =)
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#6 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 07:37 AM
 
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I'm sorry you're feeling stuck. Could you travel to see another m/w--maybe stay with a friend or relative for the birth? I'm sure an answer will become clear in time, but I know how it feels not to have things settled.

I'm searching too.

I don't want to use the midwife I used last time. Another m/w I called can't take me. There's another practice near me, but it's just over the state line and I have a feeling that our insurance will give us a hard time about that (that's still something I have to check into.) There's ONE more m/w in the area that I can call.

The m/w that I used for my first child had operated out of a freestanding childbirth center that no longer does births, so if I wanted to use that m/w (and I'd love to) I'd have to birth at a birth center which is part of a hospital. I'm not sure I'm likeing that idea.

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#7 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 11:25 AM
 
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Do you know any "natural birth junkies" in the area? LLL folks maybe? That's how I found my OB. He's GREAT. Very easy to talk to, and doesn't push alot of stuff. When he was going over what the basic tests he does are, he mentioned the AFP as being optional, and when I said I didn't want that, he said no problem, just like that (and it makes sense... I hear that he works at a Choose Life clinic on his lunch break). When we talked about prenatal vitamins, I mentioned that I took alfalfa last time, and he said I could do whatever I wanted to do!

I haven't discussed the glucose screening yet, but have a while, since that's done at 28 weeks. I don't have a problem with testing for it, but am 99.9% sure I wouldn't be able to stomach that Glucola drink, so plan to ask him for an alternative method. I'm a super picky eater, and don't like the taste of soft drinks and such, so I know the Glucola would probably make me throw up. I don't think skipping the test is a good idea for me because a) my dad and his brothers are all diabetic, b) I'm a bit overweight myself, and c) with my picky eating, I don't eat nearly as healthy as I should, and I have a big sweet tooth which I try to keep under control during pregnancy as best I can.

Anyway, I got the recommendation for this OB from local doulas at LLL who have been at alot of births with this OB, and he's let VBAC women go 20 hours (they wanted to), regular first timer go 40 hours (again, they wanted to), etc. So he's not pitocin happy like alot of OBs in my area are.

(I'm seeing an OB due to previous preterm birth, although even my OB doesn't think I'll have PROM again this time... I just want to HAVE an OB if I need to go to the hospital, rather than being stuck with whoever they assign like I was last time when I was only seeing a midwife... LOVE my midwife though!)

Mama to Tornado Boy (6/04), The Brute (11/06), and Mischief (05/09)... expecting in February '15
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#8 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 11:26 AM
 
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i haven't called my midwife yet. i'm moving in may, and i'm not sure she would come out to my new house, so i'm putting it off. time is just flying by, i feel like i just got my positive. we're military, so i have to go to my normal doctor and get a blood test before i can do anything else. my doctor is never in her office and we've had a ton of trouble with her coding things wrong, so my insurance just paid for my last pregnancy test, uhh, almost 2 years ago.

i don't think i saw a midwife until 20 weeks or so with my other pregnancies either.
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#9 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 01:09 PM
 
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I haven't called yet either. I don't plan to until sometime in the second trimester. I will be seen by a midwife , not sure who right now. I'll probably go through a local birthing center. I'll be refusing most testing and internals, I'm so looking foward to having to deal with that.: I would actually prefer having a UP but the climate in my state isn't good for that, I will be having a UC though.
I didn't think it was all that unusual to wait until 12 weeks or so to be seen.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#10 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 01:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beth26505
I don't know, nothing I guess. I think it's more of me just being a big worrier/wimp. DH is also giving me about 50% support with the unassisted thing..
I guess I just want someone to tell me I'm doing the right thing, that's basically what I wanted the midwife for. Someone to ask questions/discuss issues with.
I don't think you're a wimp. I think you're a normal, concerned mom. And I totally understand your feeling about someone telling you you're doing the righ thing. Just think though, you have the advantage of being inside your body and able to tune into what your body need/wants you to do. A midwife may be able to help with practical things, but I think you can find all the support you need on MDC for those things. Your instincts will serve you well, mama.

Peaceful mama to three blissfully-birthed and incredible small people: dd10, dd7 and ds5. Always awed and so thankful to be a midwife.
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#11 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 04:18 PM
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I haven't called yet. I'm wait to go in when I'm closer to 12 weeks. If was to go in now, they'd just have me come back at 10-12 weeks anyways. So i'll save myself a trip.

 
Rachel , wifey to best friend Karl ,
SAHM to Kaelan (11) Chandra (9) Liam (7) Lachlan (5) Killian (4),Riordan (1), Baby Boy EDD 11/14. All born at home!

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#12 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 06:21 PM
 
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I am not in your situation but I am in a way... well... I'll just explain...

I gave birth with a midwife with my boys and this time I called the same day I took the test and they can't take me because they are no longer taking "out of towners" I called another birthing center which is equally far and the said they could only tell me yes or no when in July (after 20 weeks)

Since an OB is not an option, I will be going unassisted at least until 20 weeks and most likely the whole way.... I talked with the head midwife yesterday and she said that they do not see a problem with going unassisted as long as you take care of yourself... hen I told her that I even got the urinalysis strips and will test myself every week etc... she said that that would even equal to more monitoring then they do....

I am a bit nervous about having a UP but then really... I'm not... I like doing the little tests, I will enjoy measuring and listening to the HB etc.... I also have confidence in myself and in my body

we also could support eachother

 
~paxye~
Mama to Xavier (July 02) , Colin (Sept 04), Khéna(Nov 06) & Wilhelmina (Jan 10)
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#13 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 06:39 PM
 
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I'm probably going to call the midwives I want to use tomorrow. . . I know I won't be going in for another month at least, but I want to make sure I get on "the list" before they fill up! I'm so excited to have a HOMEBIRTH!!

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#14 of 17 Old 03-23-2006, 07:01 PM
 
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I've tried calling but have never received a call back.: There is only one MW 35 miles away, I've left 2 messages weeks ago and am still waiting. She'd just moved back and is setting back up her office, but still... I was really wanting to get on the "list" before she got busy. I keep debating either I should go ahead and call another MW that is 65 miles away. UP is also appealing to me so who knows.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#15 of 17 Old 03-24-2006, 07:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheacoby
I didn't think it was all that unusual to wait until 12 weeks or so to be seen.
Oh, I don't think it's unusual either--I'd just like to know WHO I'm going to call when the time comes.

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

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#16 of 17 Old 03-24-2006, 08:05 AM
 
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Same. Putting off calling. Alot of reasons are making me that way though... my 2-year-old, work, fatigue and sleeping a lot, still in shock that I am pregnant... all those things! LOL

I swear to myself I'm calling somebody today!

I also want a VBAC and the struggle to find someone ready willing and able to do one is really making me procrastinate too though. :
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#17 of 17 Old 03-24-2006, 12:54 PM
 
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haven't had a chance to read the replies.
I haven't called a dr. yet.
I'm going to go with my midwife from the last birth, although she is now illegal and there are no legal ones near me. I trust her though... since she is so 'underground' it will be somewhat unassisted pregnancy.

Amanda, wife to Ed mama to Logan, Phoenix, Indigo and snuggle bunny EZRA RAIN has arrived
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