Man....I am so so sad. I can't stop crying and I feel so vulnerable...I don't know what to do.
Went to the doctor today because I had been having brown discharge for several weeks. Language is a barrier to begin with, so when the doc got finished with the ultrasound, he really didn't know what to say. He asked to talk to my husband, but he doesn't speak any more Japanese than I do. I saw the ultrasound pic...the grape like cloud... and told him I did some research at home and it looked like a molar pregnancy. He confirmed that much, but I don't know if it is partial or full. I am really scared. Please, if anyone has gone through this, share your story. I feel lost.
I am so very sorry you are going through this. It is one of the worst things b/c you go from the mindset of creating new life to being worried about your own.
My story (sorry if it's long)...
I had my first child DD in July 03 in Oct 03 I was pregnant again (yup DD was 2.5 months old). I had an ultrasound for dating at 8 weeks and everything looked fine. At 12 weeks we heard the heartbeat in the Dr's office and I thought everything was fine again. I was super sick that pregnancy and lost 12 pounds at 12 weeks. At 16 weeks I went in for another routine appointment and the Dr couldn't find the heartbeat. After about 20 minutes of a trying he sent me in for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed (what looked to me) a perfectly formed baby about 14 weeks along but no heartbeat. After what seemed like FOREVER, my Dr told me she thought it looked like a partial molar pregnancy but would not know until lab results confirmed it. I was set up for a D&C the next AM. It was a partial molar pregnancy. She confirmed that it was a boy and that the abnormality was mostly in the placenta that is why I made it so far. The baby lived off the yolk sak for as long as it could, once it needed the placenta for nutrition it died.
I don't know the exact terms used but I do know that the hormone HCG (that is detected with pregnancy tests) is also a hormone in cancer patients. I hope I'm not scaring you but if you have done some research (as you said you have) you probably have heard all this). Once the D&C was done my HCG levels were monitored weekly until they were less then 2 and monthly for 6 months. My HCG levels started out about 800,000 and were less then 2 within 7 weeks. They always went down so no further action was taken. I do know that if your HCG levels being to rise again then other tests need to be done and they usually begin treatment for cancer. It was one of the scariest times in my life but all is ok now.
I was told at the time that once my HCG levels were less then 2 for 1 year we could TTC again. I did TONS of research and gave it to my Dr who agreed that b/c my levels fell so quickly I only needed to wait 6 months. Thank goodness for that b/c 7 months later I was pregnant with DS Sam, the light of my life, my spirit child. I will admit, each pregnancy since (3 of them; this one included), I am very nervous and i don't trust u/s or most other tests either. They didn't detect this going on in my body so I had a false sense of hope, when pregnant with Sam u/s and other tests detected major problems with growth and development which all turned out not to be true. Thank goodness I trusted myself and didn't let them induce me early for nothing.
My only advice is do your research but try not to let it scare you. The information on Molar pregnancies is absolutely terrifying but most is worst case scenarios. I also remember my Dr saying that my chance of having another molar pregnancy doubled since I already had one. Well, that's enough to scare someone into not having more children. She never said my chance went from 1% to 2%. Technically that's double but come on now.
PM if you have ANY questions. I'm no DR but I don't have much faith in Dr's so I have done TONS of research on this subject and still continue too.
I'm so sorry!
Have you tried posting on the "birth loss" board? I know there are moms there who have been through this. Hugs to you.
I'm so sorry. I have no advice or experience, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Please give yourself permission to take good care of yourself; I think for women, that's one of the hardest things.
I don't have any info on this but wanting to tell you how sorry I am.
You'll be in my thoughts.
I am very sorry.
When you feel ready, the ladies in the Pregnancy & Birth Loss forum are all kind.
When I wrote the last message, I had just returned from the hospital and was having a bit of a panic atttack. I am not so afraid anymore. I found a website full of molar pregnancy stories and most of the women seemed to go on to have healthy babies at some point.
I was reluctant to go to the hospital in the first place, even though my mother kept urging me to over the phone. I wanted to believe that the discharge was just some persistent spotting, it was never profuse or red. I was terrified of finding myself in the same position that I was in last fall, when I found out I had a blighted ovum. Not just the news that a wanted pregnancy was not to reach fruition...but watching the doctors face view the tv screen as he moved the ultrasound wand around my cervix. The mechanical chair, suspended five feet off the ground...my bottom exposed and my legs shaking. I know the Japanese words used for difficult situations, when the doctor sucks on his teeth because there is nothing good to say. Fighting not to let my emotions spill over, so we can all get through the examination.
I chose to forgo the d&c last time and miscarried on my own, despite the doctor's misgivings. I bled for a 6 weeks, but felt empowered by my decision. Feeling my womb empty of all that blood made the pregnancy valid to me, and helped me cycle through all that energy I was directing towards a new baby. I don't feel I have that option this time, but I am prepared for that. I feel fortunate in that the doctor and staff at our local hospital are extremely kind, there is no indifference, just sympathy.
Thank you all so much for replying to my desperate words. Loving energy to you and your growing babies.
to you. I'm so sorry.
I'm hoping the best for you as you go through this, Gemma. I'm glad that your doctors are kind and sympathetic. give yourself a hug from me....
There are no words...
I'm thinking of you
I'm so very sorry for your pain and your loss. This is an emotionally painful journey and I wish you all the best!!
i'm very sorry for your loss. hugs.
i don't know much about molar pregnancies, other than my husband's relative had one the first time she got pregnant and went on to have two healthy children right after that w/o any problems.
Gemma, I am so sorry for your loss.
A good friend of mine had a molar pregnancy with her second pregnancy. It was detected when she was around 20 weeks - when they couldn't pick up a heartbeat - and it was just devastating for her and everyone around. Thankfully they found no signs of cancer (I agree with Marcia that it's rare to have the association with cancer and that a lot of the information out there, while scary, is worst case scenario. I have limited experience but I did do quite a bit of research so I could best support my friend).
I believe she waited six months to TTC and became pregnant shortly after trying again. She gave birth to her second beautiful boy nine months later. She's even due again any time now! No further molar pregnancies or complications. It was a terrible, traumatic thing that happened, preceeded by one amazing child and two that followed.
Things are tough right now. Give yourself all the time you need to cope, and please find support from other mamas who have been through similar things. I found that after my miscarriage, finding a good pregnancy loss forum was paramount. It also helped a great deal when I did become pregnant again (and all the worry I felt at the time).
Big hugs to you
I must say, I've never heard of a molar pregnancy... but from what I've been reading here, it doesn't sound good. I'm so sorry about your loss, mama!!! But I'm also very glad that you have a kind doctor and hospital staff as you said.
Please keep us informed.
I'm so sorry for your loss Mama. It is so incredibly hard and there are such heavy moments, that I know. Many
I had another appt. to discuss my bloodwork...my hCG level is 1,870--very low. That info coupled with my ultrasound indicate that I may have PSTT(placental site trophoblastic tumor). It's in the same family as a molar pregnancy, but a bit more serious. The doctor said it could also be left over tissue from my last miscarriage too. I go in for a d&c on Thursday and then have to wait for the labs to find out for sure what is going on.
Thank you all so much for being so supportive. We had not told any of our family (except my parents) about this pregnancy...let alone the complications... and even though I feel like I need that support, I don't know how to bring it all up. I know it's hard to read about another's misfortunes when you are devoting all your energy to creating a new child.
Love to all you mamas.
We are here to support you...even in your misfortune. Don't be afraid to come to us for support! We are all vunerable!