Anyone having a Blessing Way instead of a baby shower? Post ideas here! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 08-21-2006, 10:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am going to have a blessing way since this is my final pregnancy and I am really feeling the need for a ceremony to mark it as such. I am looking for ideas since I am not *naturally* inclined to this sort of spiritual thing.

Eden yikes.gif, working on a PhD in Education mama to Laurelleshamrocksmile.gif (16), Orijoy.gif (6), Yarrowfaint.gif (4) and Linusfly-by-nursing1.gif (1) partner to Brice. 
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#2 of 11 Old 08-21-2006, 11:46 PM
 
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I attended one...it was wonderful. The two things that stood out in my mind were:

1. We had a candlelighting ceremony where each person, as we lit the candles in a circle, named themselves and their maternal ancestors and children (I'm Danielle, mother of Henry, daughter of Amy, granddaughter of Marjorie and Doris) as a symbolic way of bringing the strength and courage of our mothers into the process and celebrating ourselves and each other as mothers. Once the candles were all lit, the mama-to-be got to do hers, and name her baby (or not, as she prefered). We all took our candles home with us and the intent was, when we heard she was in labor, to light our candles and say a prayer (or send vibes or good thoughts or whatever you're comfortable with) for mama!

2. Birth beads - we each picked a bead for our children (one for each child) and as we strung it on the necklace, we said what hoped for for the mama, in her life as a mama and a woman. It was really moving and most of us were crying pretty profusely. Mama was supposed to wear it in labor (if she wants to, of course). Our mama wore hers in the weeks leading up to her labor, and it was so great to see it!

Mama to H (6) B (3) : A (1)
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#3 of 11 Old 08-23-2006, 01:28 AM
 
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I attended one and am feeling the need to do one for this pregnancy also.
For the one I attended, we brought a bead and shared with the momma why we chose what we did, our hopes/dreams for her with labor/becoming new mom, and how much we valued her friendship. We strung them on to the string and she did wear her necklace briefly during labor to give her strength. She also had a friend paint a henna tattoo on her belly. It was beautiful and once the henna dried she could wash it off but it left the mark on her belly...it was there when she gave birth. She also passed out candles as our favor and requested that we light the candle when she's in labor and leave it lit until after the baby arrives. The experience was wonderful!

I love the suggestion to focus on the mothers in your life. How special. Looking forward to hearing other ideas. I just recently moved and am no longer living near my close friends or family. I am contemplating if I want to do a long-distance blessingway but I really don't think it would have the same effect. Any suggestions? Sorry for highjacking.....
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#4 of 11 Old 08-23-2006, 09:59 AM
 
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I had one with my last, have "officiated" over two, and plan on having one with this PG also.

They are such an amazing experience!!! Even the women who were very "mainstream" were moved and appreciated the experience. In a way it is as much a gift to the women who attend as it is to the expectant mother.

My ceremony included chants, birth bead ritual (I held the strand during labor), cornmeal massaging of the feet and a TON of other things. It would be too long to post all here. The full ritual is on my website:
http://www.birthbeads.com/Blessingway.html

I will modify it slightly this time around: add organic sea salt to the cornmeal for cleansing and warm the mixture before massage (a great idea I got from a wonderful massage therapist in Calistoga!) and maybe cut a few things for time purposes (my first was Very verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry long!).

Since this pregnancy is also my last, I definitely want to mark it with a special ceremony.
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#5 of 11 Old 08-23-2006, 11:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Such great ideas! I can't really do the mother focus thing since my mom passed away 8 years ago. I love the idea and really wish it was something I could do. This baby is due near her birthday, though.

I talked to my best Friend about it and she said she would plan it for me which is great!

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#6 of 11 Old 08-23-2006, 02:20 PM
 
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mom2emerson - where do you get your pregnancy goddess charms? I purchased one at the ALACE workshop I attended back in October and my midwife recently commented on it. I would love to purchase one for her as a gift. The ones on your site look like they are the same size (a little larger than an inch) as the one I have. I have seen others that are 1/2 the size but I like the larger ones for a necklace. Any help would be appreciated.

I've also thought of contacting my instructor from the workshop and purchasing another which may just be my easiest option.

I love your site, btw.
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#7 of 11 Old 08-24-2006, 03:36 AM
 
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Thanks so much pjabslenz!

PM me or email me via the site. I can definitely help you out. I don't have them listed individually but only because I haven't had time to update the site (gee, go figure: you'd think I was raising a teen and toddler and pregnant or something!!!!! )

My last pregnancy and Blessing Way experience (which at the time I was a little hesitant about having) was truly the inspiration for the site! It's nice to have the positive feedback!!

BathrobeGoddess: Have a wonderful, beautiful, meaningful Blessing Way!!! Please let us know how it goes!
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#8 of 11 Old 08-25-2006, 08:49 AM
 
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Love the necklace idea. I'm going to steal it.

I attended a baby shower last month, but we did something that was sort of blessing-like. The hostess had a small tree (can be a plant...) and little cards. We each wrote a little prayer/wish for the mamma/babe, then hung it on the tree. (Most people wished her happiness, a healthy babe... I wished her a calm, 8 hour birth. First time mamma, and she got her wish.)
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#9 of 11 Old 08-26-2006, 11:56 PM
 
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I've only been to one blessingway, and it was lovely. We did the candle thing, and the bead thing (one interesting side note is that we were each supposed to bring one special bead for the necklace, but almost every single woman brought two beads instead, saying that they just couldn't decide. The woman whose blessingway it was ended up having surprise twins. . . pretty cool), and the one thing that hasn't been mentioned yet was we had a long piece of string that we looped around all of our wrists as we sat in the circle. When we were all tied together, we talked about our wishes for the mama-to-be in labor and beyond. Then we cut the string so that we each had a small piece to tie around our wrists, and we left the strings on until the mama had birthed her babies (which ended up being about a month later).

I think I would like to have a blessingway, but I'm not totally sure about who I'd like to have be there. We are also planning a welcome ceremony for when our baby is a week old.

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 5, 6, 8, 9, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#10 of 11 Old 08-29-2006, 02:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lexbeach
We are also planning a welcome ceremony for when our baby is a week old.

Lex
Just wondering... what does a welcome ceremony entail or what are you planning for yours? I would like to do something for our little one too, since DH are not religious people and there won't the traditional baptism that the rest of my family is used to.

Also, there was a cool article in this month's Mothering about Blessing Ways... lots of neat ideas!

Mom to son M (11/06), and twin daughters L & A (6/10).

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#11 of 11 Old 09-15-2006, 09:03 AM
 
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mom2emerson - I'm happy to hear you have the pregnancy birth goddess. I was able to get in contact with my ALACE instructor and she is sending one out to me but I will keep your site bookmarked for future reference. Thanks again.
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