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Old 09-01-2006, 11:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just wondering if anyone out there is having any sex with their partners or themselves during these last few months. I am 29 weeks and it has been weeks since I last attempted. My second trimester was great, I felt like being intimate a lot and we tried lots of new things. Since then I have grown a lot and I am nervous about having an orgasm. They were beginning to feel more like a labor contraction (not so pleasant) than something to look forward to and pleasurable. I also get spotting after sex, and although my midwife states this is normal for me (I have a polyp on my cervix, which is very vascular and can cause bleeding) I still worry about it, which ruins the moemnt. So there has been no sex here, my sleep is getting more and more disturbed (related to no sex maybe), and although he is understanding, my husband is a little frustrated. So if we don't do it again until after the baby is born, it could be 6 months before we have sex again. It took a while after my first for sex not to be painful. Anyway, I just thought this would be a good place to talk about it since it isn't a topic that just anyone can talk about or relate to. Thanks for listening.
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Old 09-01-2006, 11:44 PM
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We're staying pretty active, but things have slowed down alittle lately. It's much harder to find a comfortable position these days though. I've heard some spotting can be fairly common since there so much blood down there and the cervix is more sensitive. I have noticed my hips are more achey afterwards and my stomach muscles gets stitches in them sometimes. I know DH is afraid he's gonna hurt me, so he doesn't initiate sex as often. So you're not alone, 3rd trimester sex can be tricky.

 
Rachel , wifey to best friend Karl ,
SAHM to Kaelan (11) Chandra (9) Liam (7) Lachlan (5) Killian (4),Riordan (1), Baby Boy EDD 11/14. All born at home!

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Old 09-02-2006, 01:06 AM
 
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We still have sex a lot, although it is getting harder to have an orgasm due to my giant belly being in the way. We are having to experiment with different positions. I don't have any of the bleeding, so I can see that would be unnerving. If your midwife says it is normal, try not to worry too much. Also, we have a lot of oral sex to supplement...sorry TMI. I do think sex is important (if enjoyable) because it tones the vagina, semen ripens the cervix and orgasm strengthens the uterus. So it is good for you! If you don't like it, try to be intimate other ways so it isn't so upsetting.

homebirthing organic mama to three crazy boys very blessed!!
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Old 09-02-2006, 11:15 AM
 
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we're still relatively active (both together and seperately but it's definitely taking a bit more planning...and there are always those moments when we break out into giggles at a well-timed kick. And yes, orgasms can trigger what feels like a contraction...but it's not going to harm you or babe - I do hear you about it feeling uncomfortable though.

If you'd still enjoy it, and you can find a position that works for you - go for it!
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Old 09-02-2006, 12:56 PM
 
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We aren't having it at all. I am so uncomfie in that region I just can't imagine something in there. Also all the uncomfortable BH's I'm having make me a little nervous , so I'm also afraid to (and forget me having an orgasm, OUCH). It sucks but I won't be pregnant forever. We do try to be intimate in other ways but honestly I'm so freakin cranky I decline a lot.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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Old 09-02-2006, 02:56 PM
 
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Know how if you stretch in the early morning and you get a 'calf' cramp...I get those in my hips now if I try to have sex...so it's pretty much a 'no go' situation from here on out. But this is usual for us to stop about third trimester and just suck it up until 6 weeks post partum or whenever I feel like it again...(depending on birth experience and soreness)...

Last time we tried I got one of those 'cramps' right at the worst possible moment and was frustrated haha...fortunately he managed to have 'fun' before I had that darn spasm! I told him he'd have better enjoyed that, because it was the last one from me until after baby is born and I'm recooperated. He laughed...he's very understanding and reasonable...and it really makes for some 'OH WOW' stuff once you have no baby in tummy and can relax again...it's like being newlywed again!

Hang in there! You are not alone...
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Old 09-02-2006, 06:36 PM
 
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When I was pregnant with all my singletons I had sex way up until like the day before they where born...

now with twins I am done doing the deed I think... just very uncomfortable!

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
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Old 09-02-2006, 09:41 PM
 
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I'm sorry, I know not this "sex" of which you speak.

Honestly, though, I wish we were having sex. DH has a much lower sex drive than I do, so I'm more the instigator, and honestly, I just haven't felt like being the one all the time while pregnant.

Mama to H (6) B (3) : A (1)
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Old 09-03-2006, 12:27 AM
 
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Ummm, yeah I'm all about it right now Lucky for dh
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Old 09-03-2006, 12:19 PM
 
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I *wish* I was having sex. I've definitely got the drive, and finding a good position never seemed to be an issue with my other pregnancies this late in the game. BUT, I'm on pretty stright bedrest (like, I can get up to go to the bathroom and to shower once a day) for at least another 2 weeks, and the bedrest included "pelvic rest" which is just a nice way for the doc to be able to say no hanky-pankie without gettin' all embarrassed, LOL!

If all continues to go well with my cervical changes (ie - we don't have any more changes!) then when I hit 33 weeks they'll let me go back to modified bedrest. I am literally counting the days till then, not so I can get off bedrest (which does suck) but so I can HAVE SEX, LOL!!!
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Old 09-03-2006, 04:20 PM
 
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The GOOD thing about having an orgasm now (especially if it is mildly 'painful') is that it lets you practice relaxing thru a surge--I'd have LOTS if I were you guys--get your uterus 'toned' and get lots of relaxation practice for when the real surges start!
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Old 09-03-2006, 04:25 PM
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*cough* not "officially" part of this DDC but I'm due the first week of Dec, so I could go in November (since DD was a 38wk 2 day babe) as well so I guess I'll chime in lol

Sex in the 3rd? Hasn't crossed my mind. Tried to be active with myself but reaching is getting a wee bit difficult (I got short arms lol)

DH is taking it in stride...I just dont feel attractive. So I dont want any.

I feel fat and ugly and sweaty and gross...and the added discharge doesn't help matters either..

So I dont want him touching me due to my lack of self esteem...
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Old 09-03-2006, 04:59 PM
 
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Hi, peeking in from the October DDC.

I am still doin' the deed and definitely enjoying it at 34 weeks. I find myself feeling more and more frisky lately, actually . . . it definitely can be challenging to work around the belly etc., but SO worth it! We are more used to it this time than we were last pregnancy so it has been a better experience for us this time around. And dh really thinks my big pregnant belly is hot. I feel pretty good-lookin' too. Not looking forward to that saggy-belly postpartum period though-- yuck!

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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Old 09-04-2006, 02:29 AM
 
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well.... first off, and to the OP..... being pg and intimate is a tricky game. Everybody reacts differently to the ole 'situation' right now; and it sounds like you probably aren't feelin' all too sexy these days!

My dh doesn't get frustrated per say, but without enough sex he's just a bear to live with. So I'm using this time before the new baby to try to sneak in some 'quality' time with him- although I don't always get what I need while we dtd right now, I'd rather now than be rushed postpartum. Honestly, after dd #1 I thought I'd never enjoy sex again!

So I try to put dh on my little weekly calendar to give him a little 'your so special time'. Apparently, he does not notice my large belly or enlarged thighs.... I guess that's the good part about the massive boobs. Good distraction.:

Megan~ mama to Cecilia (9/1/04) Carl (11/19/06) Vivian (9/10/09) & spring 2011 baby.
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Old 09-04-2006, 03:28 AM
 
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Yep the belly is in the way, but we figure it out. And Dh says he lurves my belly I like it too actually....its the firmest its been in years
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Old 09-04-2006, 07:06 PM
 
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I am 32 weeks and so far the sex hasn't slowed down. Sometimes I do find it hard to get in the mood b/c I just want to go to sleep but once we are finished I sleep sooooo much better-so for me it is definatly worth it to stay awake a little bit longer.
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Old 09-05-2006, 01:26 PM
 
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Not in months. I am so swollen and uncomfortable down there, not to mention my vulvar varicose veins that NOTHING besides toilet paper is getting anywhere near that region. : I've been telling DH next year, poor guy.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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Old 09-06-2006, 03:41 AM
 
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Hi all,
Well, we're at about 31 weeks and we have sex or what ever about twice a week or more frequintly depending on how I am feeling. Yes, the belly is getting in the way, but we find ways around it. I happen to think doggy style is best at this piont. I am not having as much pleasure everytime like I used to, but I still injoy the closeness. I was a bit plus size before I became PG and hubby love the curves so I am not as worried about being big and all that. Due to always being short and plump. Its been my experence that guys like curves and love to be able to hold and cuddle a soft roundish body, so enjoy it if you can.

This is my first PG, let alone baby and sence I am not sure how long it will take me to heal up after having our little bundle I want to be close as often as we can. : But yea, there are times when I am just not comfertable.

Best wishes,
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Old 09-06-2006, 04:21 PM
 
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DH has never been in to the pregnant mama thing during our past two pregnancies but is definately over that problem now. I am one happy lady this go around! I find a little action before bed really helps me sleep better, so I consider all offers even when I am exhausted. We have a tall bed and find that me half off it (ala pelvic exam style, sorry for tmi) is a nice way to avoid the belly. And God bless the Hitachi company
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Old 09-06-2006, 05:51 PM
 
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And God bless the Hitachi company

Amen to that, sister!

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Old 09-06-2006, 07:34 PM
 
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We are still doing it fairly often. Well, once or twice a week on average, but it is getting harder and harder for me to really enjoy it. Toys are getting more and more useful.

Jennifer, mom to Joel , Duncan, Celia, and Aidan. Wife to Nathan.
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Old 09-08-2006, 01:42 AM
 
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I'm so glad I read this thread. My dh and I have been pretty active together and alone throughout. I also had some bleding about 5 weeks ago(I'm 28.5 now) and was told it is normal. It did scare dh off for awhile but he got over it pretty quickly. Sorry if this is tmi but dh has been having a hard time with oral because my belly gets in the way(any positions that minimize this?). Thanks again everyone for their frankness becuase I was getting worried that I should slow down because my uterus gets so hard and contracts after and I was worried this wasn't normal/safe.
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Old 09-09-2006, 08:01 PM
 
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The oral practice tends to go away as the belly grows

Don't worry about the contractions, your uterus is just practicing for the real deal and the baby gets "hugs" this way
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Old 09-11-2006, 06:45 PM
 
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Sex is pretty much non-existent here. I have a varicose vein in my vulva and any time there is extra blood flow down there it starts throbbing and aching so much that it kills the mood instantly. Looks like it's going to have to wait til DS is born...
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Old 09-20-2006, 02:32 PM
 
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Well i have sex with my self alot because my hubby won't do anything with me. I get so sad about it. In a little less than two months there will forever be a third person around. I tmakes me hate the way I look and feel because he must not find me attractive anymoire. I think because of this , this will be my one and only child.:
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Old 09-20-2006, 02:47 PM
 
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Well its been 3 weeks... no sex... i keep tellin my dh if he doesn't use it ... its going to fall off... but we are on strict bedrest and he is not budging lol

i guess you can't be way pregnant with twins and seductive lol while you have a trib pump in your leg and not allowed to get up...

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
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Old 09-20-2006, 04:06 PM
 
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Not in this DDC but had to chime in here LOL
Last 2 pregnancies I swore off sex from about 21 weeks. POOR DH! This time i'm going until teh baby is born! LOL (I hear it supposedly helps baby to arrive on it's own, and i so want to avoid another induction! ) It is quite difficul with a hugh belly in teh way, but definately worth it, and hoping that it tones the uterus too
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Old 09-20-2006, 06:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newmommajess View Post
Well i have sex with my self alot because my hubby won't do anything with me. I get so sad about it. In a little less than two months there will forever be a third person around. I tmakes me hate the way I look and feel because he must not find me attractive anymoire. I think because of this , this will be my one and only child.:

You poor thing.... it makes me sad just reading your post... I felt this same way until I broke down one night and told DH "you think I'm fat and ugly don't you????". He just looked at me like I had a third eyeball and said, "of course not". I asked why he never made advances at me anymore and he stated that I had felt so horrible for the entire first trimester and I'm always remarking about how tired I am or achy or whatever the complaint of the minute might be.... so he didn't want to bother me w/ requests for sex. So now I initiate if I want to.... but as I posted earlier, I have a varicose vein that has nixed my plans....:

I'm sure your dh still finds you beautiful. Some men are just scared off by pregnancy and the thought of their child being right there. Hang in there momma.... we're almost through...
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Old 09-20-2006, 07:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newmommajess View Post
Well i have sex with my self alot because my hubby won't do anything with me. I get so sad about it. In a little less than two months there will forever be a third person around. I tmakes me hate the way I look and feel because he must not find me attractive anymoire. I think because of this , this will be my one and only child.:
Yea, sometimes men just get 'squigged out' at the thought of a baby's head down near where they poking around...I'd not worry about it. You can get the weight off again, and then when baby naps, you will be having free time...it'll be hard to wait the suggested 6 weeks...hehe

He might just be nervous of hurting you/baby, so maybe a little talk is in order...otherwise, things will change, but there will be time for 'that' once baby comes!
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Old 09-22-2006, 04:56 PM
 
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Well...

We have really slowed down a lot these last few weeks. I just have NO interest, and it is uncomfortable for me. I feel like a big 'ole uncoordinated ball of pregnant, and (TMI) can't do much but just lay there. That sounds so bad, but I just don't have the energy to really "activily participate", ykwim?

As far as oral- My gag reflex kicked in BIG TIME before I even got my BFP, and well, let's just say we've been lacking in that dept. as well. Believe it or not, I think this bothers me more than it does him! ANd him, well... I guess he feels like since it's not 50/50- it's just not. I can't complain (but I want to!)

So, I guess what I should have said here was "Sex, what's that?!"
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