slowing down, feeling guilty - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 09-06-2006, 05:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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so I am 30w2d and I am really slowing down and not able, either physically or in energy to do a lot of what dd wants to do... it is difficult to hear myself saying that I can't do such-and-such over and over throughout the day. And I try to tell her that dada will help her climb trees when he gets home from work, and that kind of thing, but it doesn't really help her frustration, or mine for that matter.... and I have explained that once the baby comes out I'll be able to do more physically, but to a three year old 10 weeks is still a really long time (not that she even understands time yet). Anyway.... I am just feeling guilty and frustrated and like a bad mama sometimes... I feel like I am on my butt all the time and then I just feel lazy, and like I should be trying harder.... anyone else feeling like this?
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#2 of 13 Old 09-06-2006, 06:34 PM
 
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I'm feeling the same way. I'm 29 weeks and sloooow, also feeling guilty for napping lately. I have so much on my "to do list before the baby comes" that I feel like i'll never get it all done. I'm slowing down for my ds as well. I've had to lay down on the bed in the afternoon and let him know that mommy needs to rest, and that it's nap time & he needs to nap too. SO yesterday. I lay on the bed for an hour before he wore himself out jumping around the room to nap. Then i napped w/ him for an hour. I'm not sleeping that great now, peeing every 2 1/2 hrs so even if i'm bone tired my bladder wakes me up.
Oh and did i mention the house is a mess, as well
You are definetely not alone
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#3 of 13 Old 09-06-2006, 06:45 PM
 
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I tend to be an active (over active) and over involved person...so I've been cutting back knowing that I will be 'slower' in the last month and after the baby comes...but I didnt' know it would happen this soon. I have too much to do to be lazy now...but I can't get thru the day without a nap...and even tho LAST week I cleaned the entire downstairs, this week I can't even make my bed upstairs! UGH!
WAY too much to do before baby comes...ugh...
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#4 of 13 Old 09-06-2006, 06:53 PM
 
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You are definately not alone. I feel so sluggish all day and keeping up with my 1 year old is getting harder and harder to do. I don't know how I'm going to make it another 11 weeks.
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#5 of 13 Old 09-06-2006, 06:55 PM
 
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I'm on bedrest, so I *so* know how the guilt from nto being able to do the things your kids want you to do goes. DH is working from home three days a week, and he's been really awesome about gettingoutside and playing with the boys, and I've been trying to compensate for my lack of activity with them with lots of snuggle and reading time. Maybe try that? My younger two and I have been piling in bed several times a day with a big stack of books they pick out and bring to me, and we snuggle and read. We've done a lot of coloring in bed also (I had DH go out and get some new drawing pads and crayons, to make it feel a bit more like a *special* activity for them. He got some sparkly stickers and foam stickies, too, so they really think it's special time now, LOL!) Bedrest has definitely pushed me to find ways to be inactive in my physical activity, but still active emotionally with my kids
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#6 of 13 Old 09-06-2006, 08:53 PM
 
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I'm getting to that point. I'm so thankful the girls start school tomorrow. Normally. I would be mourning the day but this is the first year where I'm glad they'll have something to do so I can take a nap.

Do you have any friends you can call on to take your little one for a few hours? She may just need a change of pace.
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#7 of 13 Old 09-06-2006, 09:24 PM
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I've been feeling really slow lately. Some of that is probably due to me getting a cold. Now I'm getting rid of it and I'm starting to get more energy but I'm still dragging. I do feel bad cause I'd much rather nap then play with the kids. DH goes to work sometime next week and I'm gonna miss having the help with the 3 kiddos.

 
Rachel , wifey to best friend Karl ,
SAHM to Kaelan (11) Chandra (9) Liam (7) Lachlan (5) Killian (4),Riordan (1), Baby Boy EDD 11/14. All born at home!

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#8 of 13 Old 09-06-2006, 10:41 PM
 
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oh mama your not alone, I miss my dd so much... she is 20 months and always wants UP UP but I can't lift her... I miss just swooping her up!

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
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#9 of 13 Old 09-07-2006, 12:26 AM
 
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I'm 32 weeks and have slowed down alot. Just the 15 minute walk (now more like 30 since I move so slowly )to the park exhausts me. DD and I have been living at the park lately, she plays with other dc, and I gwt to sit down, we are both happy.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#10 of 13 Old 09-07-2006, 12:32 PM
 
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hey, I just posted similar on the October thread (I'm 36 weeks but this problem has been worsening for quite a while)
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...961346&postcou

Berkeley mom of 3 and President of Tender Cargo Baby Gear
and The Nurture Center Store and Resource Center 3399 Mt Diablo Bl Lafayette CA 888-998-BABY
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#11 of 13 Old 09-07-2006, 02:02 PM
 
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Oh, mamas, I'm in the same boat. 31 weeks, and just sloooooooow. And easily tired. My DD is 3, too, and very active, so it's hard to say that mama just can't do something.

She's going to preschool three days a week now, and I think that's going to help. She gets lots of time and space there for physical play and big messy stuff that I can't manage at home right now. So I don't feel so guilty about doing quiet cuddly things with her when it's just the two of us.

I've explained that growing our new baby is hard work for my body, and that's what's making me tired and why I can't pick her up and tote her around. She seems to get that, and knows that after the baby comes, it'll be better.

Mama to DD : (7/23/03) & DS : (10/27/06) married to DH 7/20/01
and yet 90% more mainstream than the rest of MDC
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#12 of 13 Old 09-08-2006, 07:05 PM
 
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This pregnancy was unexpected, and I was a bit out of shape before getting pregnant (I always swore I'd be in shape before getting pregnant, as a healthy pregnancy is important to me) anywho, I feel like I'm 19 going on 60! I've thrown my back out God knows how many times! OTOH, I've always had joint problems, and since becoming pregnant, my hips and knees have been doing much better, it's mostly just my back. Doesn't help that my CP chair is a folding chair, and my mattress is something I found on the side of the road. (Yes, I cleaned it) it's not the highest quality though.

I'm a modifiedartist.gif DH is a reading.gif we have 2 angel.gifs, and DS is a rainbow1284.gif baby.gif
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#13 of 13 Old 09-08-2006, 07:14 PM
 
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I could have written the exact same post: I've always been really active and physical with dd, and it's soooooo hard to say no. She loves climbing up my legs, and pretending to run into me, and laying on the floor and drawing, and I just can't do those things with her any more. I'm trying to make up for it with lots of stories, and crafts etc that I can do sitting at the table, but I know she's getting really frustrated. She's used to me chasing her around the yard, and pushing her trike, and I simply don't have the stamina for that that I used to....

OTOH we've found some stuff she really enjoys that had never occurrred to me before; she's asking to listen to more music, and she thinks it's hysterical when I dance with her - I guess the belly is quite impressive Picture a nekkid toddler and a heavily pg mama dancing like crazy fools to Fatboy Slim
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