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#1 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 01:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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: I don't know what to do. I feel so depressed and restless and I can't eat or sleep and it is sooooo hard to take care of dd.... dh is elsewhere, and very serious about divorce. and all of this is so out of the blue, so sudden, and i am really scared. i am really scared about a lot of things, but also how this may affect my labor, or the baby's health.... dd is already really affected, it broke my heart to watch her tonight.... completely unable to focus, make eye contact.... : i am in a really bad place...
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#2 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 01:05 AM
 
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I'm so sorry.
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#3 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 01:08 AM
 
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mama.

I don't know what to say, but maybe you want to come over to single parenting forum. Some mamas there have been through similar situations.
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#4 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 01:23 AM
 
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I am so sorry, you must feel so helpless right now...what a cad for possibly leaving you pg and with a young girl
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#5 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 01:27 AM
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(((hugs)))

Stay strong mama, for that little one you already have and the little one in your belly.
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#6 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 01:55 AM
 
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#7 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 08:33 AM
 
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mama

I'm so very very sorry :
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#8 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 08:43 AM
 
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~paxye~
Mama to Xavier (July 02) , Colin (Sept 04), Khéna(Nov 06) & Wilhelmina (Jan 10)
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#9 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 10:00 AM
 
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Huge, huge, huge hugs to you. Just try and remember what a strong, brave, excellent woman YOU are, no matter who is or isn't in your life.

If you need anything just let us know.


unbelievably proud mother to Darwin 11-22-2006
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#10 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 10:25 AM
 
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:for you
: for your dear children
: for your dh
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#11 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 10:40 AM
 
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I'm so sorry.
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#12 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 11:41 AM
 
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What a stressful thing to go through, especially right now.
I pray that the situation is resolved soon, that whatever hubby is going through he is able to work on and hopefully rejoin the family soon if that is going to work out the best.

Prayers for everyone. It will work out somehow--hang in there while it is all getting figured out.
so sorry to hear you are going through this
hugs
Erica
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#13 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 11:42 AM
 
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I'm so sorry to hear about this.

Eden yikes.gif, working on a PhD in Education mama to Laurelleshamrocksmile.gif (16), Orijoy.gif (6), Yarrowfaint.gif (4) and Linusfly-by-nursing1.gif (1) partner to Brice. 
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#14 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 01:30 PM
 
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I'm so sorry Mama
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#15 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 02:04 PM
 
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#16 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 02:19 PM
 
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Didn't want to read without posting.... so sorry for you; how hard to have this going on. My advice would be to give yourself permission to be sad, but also remember that you are strong and will find a way through this. Please don't forget to ask others for support and help. to you, mama....

Megan~ mama to Cecilia (9/1/04) Carl (11/19/06) Vivian (9/10/09) & spring 2011 baby.
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#17 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 02:21 PM
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I'm so sorry.

 
Rachel , wifey to best friend Karl ,
SAHM to Kaelan (11) Chandra (9) Liam (7) Lachlan (5) Killian (4),Riordan (1), Baby Boy EDD 11/14. All born at home!

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#18 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 04:50 PM
 
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I am so sorry you are going through such a hard thing especially while you are pregnant. I will keep you and your little ones in my thoughts.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#19 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 06:01 PM
 
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Oh mama I'm not sure what to say.
I'm thinking of you.
Do you have a supportive friend/relative you can speak with?

s mama

Amanda, wife to Ed mama to Logan, Phoenix, Indigo and snuggle bunny EZRA RAIN has arrived
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#20 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 06:16 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. DH and I are having some issues of our own right now too. His father is causing a lot of grief in my life and I've come to an empasse that I'm not putting up with it. So, I've basically told him he can step up to his dad and put him in his place or I'm outta here. I don't want to bring my db into a bad situation and that's what it would be if his father is constantly butting in. I hope things work out for you... I hate that we're going through stuff like this during a time when we should be engulfed in joy.
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#21 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 08:50 PM
 
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Sorry to hear about this, mama... we're thinking about you and hoping for the best.
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#22 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 09:27 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

Mama to H (6) B (3) : A (1)
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#23 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 09:35 PM
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#24 of 36 Old 09-11-2006, 11:11 PM
 
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I am so sorry that you are going through this. We are here for you too!
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#25 of 36 Old 09-12-2006, 01:59 AM
 
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Not to pry any deeper, but could he be 'overloaded' by the idea of a new baby? Some guys 'run' when they feel unprepared, or not ready for something...
Unfortunately, men try to look for 'happiness' or actually a distraction from 'real life' when they are in this bad place in their heads....:

I'm hoping he will come around...and remember (as we all must) that our women friends--our sisters--are here for us thru this wonderful (but sometimes stressful) time in our lives! We're here for you!
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#26 of 36 Old 09-12-2006, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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well things are still in limbo, but it's still looking like divorce. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to be strong. I haven't slept the past two nights, and I can't keep very much food down... I do ok in the morning, but nothing will go down late afternoon through night..... at i just had a prenatal and both midwives told me that I really need to start gaining more weight as i've only gained 13 pounds at 31 weeks............ I'm going to lose weight if I can't eat, and I don't know what to do. I feel so much responsibility towards the baby but I feel so helpless with this sleeping and eating issue. even before this happened my main midwife told me to start taking it a lot easier because i was experiencing intense lower abdominal pain... how do i take it easier now? I am so exhausted and shaky and unable to concentrate, and being alone at nighttime after dd goes to bed is excruciating. and yes my parents and sister and a few friends do all live in town but it is so hard to talk to any of them about what is going on.... we live in a very small town, and I have this faint hope that in the end dh will come back and I don't want to poison anyone against him.... my mom still doesn't know the truth of the situation. I am so scared of what the future holds.... I will have to move in with my parents when (if?) dh finally tells me once and for all that it is over, and I don't want to have to do that because it will be an awful living situation for reasons I won't go into here.... but I don't have a degree and the town I live in is small and mostly under poverty level, so the jobs pay really badly, and I would never be able to afford daycare, so moving in with my parents for awhile would be my only choice. I am breaking up about how much this is hurting dd.... dh came to try to spend time with her last night and she screamed at the top of her lungs and told him she was afraid of him..... after about an hour she warmed up to him and had fun with him for a while, but it breaks my heart to see what he is doing to her....
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#27 of 36 Old 09-12-2006, 03:53 PM
 
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Emily, I am so so sorry. Your dh 's timing is horrible. I really wish he could just hold off on leaving and discussing divorce until you have this baby. Does he get how this is effecting the baby you are carrying?
Does your midwife know how much stress you are under right now. Maybe she could recommend something herbal or homeopathic to help you relax and eat more.

I wish I could help you, I hope just knowing so many of us are thinking about you and hoping the best for you will make you feel just a tiny bit better. My heart goes out to you and your dd (and the little one) right now.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#28 of 36 Old 09-12-2006, 03:55 PM
 
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You're going to be okay. I know it's hard but don't look at all the impossibilities at once. Take each thing as it comes. Right now you need to eat and sleep. Things will fall into place much easier if these essentials are met. At this point, eat your favorite comfort foods even if it's fast food or cookies. Do things that make you feel good- lie in the sun, listen to your favorite music, wear your favorite scent and jewlery.

You know your family best but (unless they're toxic people) I would strongly recommend getting their support. You don't have to give them all the details right now. Just ask that they be there when you need.

You have done nothing wrong here. If the town wants to talk, let them. You are a bigger and better person than that. You will survive and you will thrive. (If I could I'd send you the Kink's "Better Things" song I would but I'm afraid it might violate the UA.)
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#29 of 36 Old 09-12-2006, 05:41 PM
 
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Emily, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wish there was some way I could grab your dh and shake some sense into him. I don't know if I should ask this or not, but is it another woman? I know this has to be so hard for you.... I posted to your thread earlier and said that my dh and I were having problems because of his father... but last night we worked everything out and I'm practically in tears just imagining how you must be feeling. I thought about you last night and wondered how you were. I would be devastated if my dh left, but at the same time, if it was over another woman, I think I would hate him so much for being so selfish and putting me and his children through this and all for his own self gratification that it would make letting go of him that much easier. You are a strong woman and you must believe that. I know it seems hopeless right now and he couldn't have picked a worse time to pull this kind of crap. I truly hope things work out for the best and he makes his decision soon. Maybe you should give him a deadline that he needs to let you know by. Instead of completely being a victim, take some sort of control over the situation. If he's going to leave he already knows. He just hasn't told you of his plans. He's stringing you along and it's not fair to you or your children. God Bless you and your little ones.
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#30 of 36 Old 09-12-2006, 07:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emilyrose
... I don't want to poison anyone against him.... my mom still doesn't know the truth of the situation....
This is his choice so he has to deal with those consequences. You need to do what is best for you & your babies. I totally understand not wanting to tell...my family was quite shocked at stbx's behavior because I didn't want to tarnish his image (& also felt it reflected badly on me). Since you have family close by, please reach out to them & let them help you. You don't have to give them all the details but please let others help you, especially now that you are far along in your pregnancy and not feeling well.

I remember the first panic when stbx said he wanted a divorce. It is overwhelming and scary, but I think as I learned more about what I was entitled to and as I gained confidence in making decisions as to what was best for me and dd, I am on a better path.
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