Originally Posted by Mrs_Hos
I envy all of the lesbian mamas...it must be so nice to not have to nag nag nag someone to help you! I swear I'd marry a woman if I could talk myself into being a lesbian!
I've often said I'd marry my chiropractor if she and I were lesbians, and we weren't married already!
Oh, Mrs_Hos, I never laughed so hard in my life!
May I come in on behalf of the good dads out there? My DH does a lot. He cleans up his mess, and mine, if needed. I do most of the cooking, but he watches DS in the meantime. He picks up DS from day care, shops if needed.... I might step on some toes here, but I think part of it is culture. It's not like I am doing the basics, and if he does something in the house he is doing something special. It just is. We are both part of the family unit, and need to contribute. I work, he works, so it is somewhat balanced. I am perfectly able to take out the trash, I don't think that has to be a mans job.....
Men are quite literal though. If you say clean the toilet, and there is a mess next to the toilet, they will not think to clean it up. They are not trying to bug you or do a lazy job, they just don't get it. I think women sometimes make the situation worse by then yelling at DH - why didn't you clean up the mess next to the toilet?.... Then DH doesn't want to help, because he feels he can't meet your expectations. Instead, "Thanks. looks good. Next time, would you also clean the area around it too, if it is dirty?" Now he feels good, and will probably do even more next time.
A few friends always complains that their DH never does any work. But their attitude is, well, it is easier if I just do it myself. And when they do help, the women complain that it isn't done the right way. This only makes the men want to do less, not more.
I appreciate what I've got. And that he can, of his own accord, tell me I have mail and watch DS for 10 minutes while I write this message.