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#1 of 11 Old 12-01-2006, 04:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just received a baby card for my daughter born a week ago from her great-grandmother(my Dh grandmother). In the card was a Heloise clipping about sending thank you notes. Then on the actual card that I wil be saving she did not even congratulate us. Instead she wrote that she wasn't sure about sending money for the baby(she never once used her name) because she had not heard anything from us after giving my husband money when he visited in September. She included a $20 check .
She also complained to my MIL 3 weeks after our wedding when she had not yet received a thank you note(consider that I was 20 weeks pg at our wedding). At any rate I did get her thank you card out about 6 weeks after the wedding which I think is pretty normal. I am so annoyed that she couldn't even focus on the joy of our daughters birth. Also my dh never told me about the money she gave him(or my pg brain forgot) or I would have sent a card. Is this ridiculous? Does anyone know what that "appropriate" time frame for sending baby thank you notes is? I looked on-line for a Heloise etiquette clip of some sort becasue I am pretty sure it is 6mos-1 year for thank you notes,especially with a new baby. If anyone has a link to etiquette rules I would love to see it so I can print it off and send it in my thank you note-expressing to her how neat it is that we both share a love of etiquette!! Rant over.
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#2 of 11 Old 12-01-2006, 04:48 PM
 
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Sometimes people really suck the joy out of something when they do stuff like that. I'm all for etiquette too, but I think certainly somewhere in the rules of etiquette it would state that sending a clipping about writing a thank you note before the recipient even gets a chance to acknowledge the gift on her own would be in bad taste itself!

I can relate as my mother has done similar things to me.
and I always write thank you notes.
Even to my mother. (who knows what she would send me if I didn't he he he)
my husband on the other hand thinks it is ridiculous when I send thank you notes to his dad and mom since they are immediate family.

Erica
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#3 of 11 Old 12-01-2006, 05:25 PM
 
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Sorry that you had to receive that. My mother would be like that. She reminded me a whole bunch of times the day that I received a card and money from her sister. I was completely exhausted and overwhelmed but all that mattered was that thank you card!
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#4 of 11 Old 12-01-2006, 07:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmmetnLindley View Post
Sorry that you had to receive that. My mother would be like that. She reminded me a whole bunch of times the day that I received a card and money from her sister. I was completely exhausted and overwhelmed but all that mattered was that thank you card!

My mother is totally like that as well. When she came when baby was less than a week old - I was trying to get the baby latched on and all she could do was loudly ask me REPEATEDLY whether the flowers on the bedside table had been sent by her friend as he kept asking whether we had received them. I told her I couldn't talk at that moment - duh - as I was trying really hard to get fussing baby latched on...My mother is the kind of person who sends thank you notes for thank you notes.
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#5 of 11 Old 12-01-2006, 09:00 PM
 
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Yep...lots of old people I know are this way--including my folks!
I think if I got a 'lecture' on thankyou notes I would probably just send the card back...but I'm kinda a bitch like that--well I'd do that to my dh's family, but maybe not mine...I'd call mine!

hahaha!

Bobbi
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#6 of 11 Old 12-01-2006, 09:42 PM
 
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How rude!!
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#7 of 11 Old 12-01-2006, 10:04 PM
 
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she sounds like a real pain.

Just send her a thank you card right now to get her off your back.
Then enjoy your baby and worry abou the rest in a few weeks!
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#8 of 11 Old 12-01-2006, 10:23 PM
 
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Wait a minute. You are getting crap from your HUSBAND'S grandmother because she gave HER GRANDSON a cheque, and she's blaming YOU for no thank you letter? Are his arms broken or something?
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#9 of 11 Old 12-01-2006, 10:43 PM
 
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Not in your DDC, but I wanted to comment that it sounds like she's simply...old. I have a few older relatives that are the same way in terms of etiquette. Remember, she grew up during a time when forgetting a thank you card would probably get a person ostracized from the family.

I agree with the prior post that dh should put together a thank you card that you both sign.
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#10 of 11 Old 12-02-2006, 03:30 AM
 
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nak

My son was due 2/1/05 (born 2/10). The ladies at my husband's one church threw me a shower on 1/15. I got the ty notes out on 1/15... of THIS year.

I'm so tired right now, I just fell asleep with my head on my daughter's head as a pillow (and drooled on her - poor thing). And I've had her around since the 15th. Greatgrandma's timing is inappropriate. And a agree with whomever said above - why is she ticked with you - she should be ticked at her grandson.

I've never understood why etiquette (sp?) give a married couple 12 months to get ty notes out... but only a month or so after a new baby. Seriously - I had way more time on my hands when all I was caring for was two adults!
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#11 of 11 Old 12-02-2006, 10:15 PM
 
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Ugh. That's ridiculous!
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