I mostly followed the Dr. Sears idea of "benching" vs. "time-out".
Time-out = time to be alone or reflect or calm down
Benching = something like the "penalty box" in a hockey game. A short time to be pulled out of action because of unacceptable behavior.
Time out is usually in their rooms and we refer to it as "alone time". Now that the kids are older (12 & 10) they sometimes consciously want alone time and also know that I also sometimes need alone time.
So, the "bench" for us was for many years a real bench in our living room where they would sit for a specified amount of time (30 seconds; 1 minute; 2 minutes).
I haven't used "the bench" since they were about 4 or 5.
As for my own time outs. As I've said, I sometimes need alone time. There are times when the kids are driving me nuts and rather than yell or scream, I just get up and walk away. Usually it's about table-manners/grossness at the dinner table.
Sometimes I've said "I can't eat w/ you when you're like this" and walk away. Other times, I've just get up and go - they know what's caused it.
Like I said, it's easier for mama to take a time-out when they're big.
Originally Posted by Aletheia
Having read a little bit about time-out spots, esp. for children this young (see http://www.positivediscipline.com/ar..._Children.html
) I don't want to have a time-out script/spot for my LOs unless... I'm using it too which would really help make it look non-punitive (which would be my ultimate goal.)
I know that getting more tools in my GD toolbox will help prevent me from losing said temper in the first place (the Spirited Child book gave me a lot of tools already), but I am realistic to know myself and know there just aren't that many tools.