Help me deal with this situation - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 01-19-2009, 02:49 PM - Thread Starter
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My toddler who is two years old now has always been an extrovert, outgoing, cheerful. She loves people and goes out of her way to show her affection and love for others. She will caress a baby's head or cheeks, shake hands with grown ups and ask "how are you" etc. She is such a sweet girl that she wants to kiss all small kids and child mannequins too!

Well I know not all kids share the same feeling and some feel she is too intrusive. I tell her everytime that she is not supposed to kiss or hug any child she sees coming but I don't think she understands what I am trying to say.

Today there was this girl who is around 3.5 years old and she was pushing my DD away because she was trying to hug her. This girl got possessive when my DD went and sat next to her mom. Now this is completely understandable and normal.

All I want is some ideas on how to deal with this situation. Some babies tend to poke their fingers in DD's eyes when she gets too close but DD does not understand that she will get hurt.

Also I told the 3.5 years old girl not push my DD but she's small too so I need help on how to make my DD understand and how to handle other kids who may get upset with DD's behavior.

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#2 of 5 Old 01-19-2009, 03:16 PM
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right now, your dd is young enough that really, you're going to have to be right there and intervene (you can body block her if nothing else) if she gets too close.

At the same time, teach her to ask if giving a hug is OK. "Can I hug you?" will give the poor kids who don't like to be touched a chance to say 'no' and teach her boundaries.

Teach her some alternatives - like high fives for kids, or touching babies feet. I never liked it when older kids got in my babies' faces because, as we all know, they're major germ vectors. So, I always taught my kids to ask if they could touch a baby's foot. That satisfies the impulse to touch the baby, and 99% of parents were OK with it.

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#3 of 5 Old 01-19-2009, 04:01 PM
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Sweetly stop her. And, as she gets bigger, you can tell her, "That child is saying stop." Right now, she is probably too little to really understand, but you can gently guide the right action for now. It must be great to have such a lovebug, but I can see how hard it can be to balance her inherent affection with others' need to preserve personal space.
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#4 of 5 Old 01-19-2009, 07:19 PM
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Hi there,
I dont have any answers for you, just wanted to share that my son does the same thing. He is now 4 and still does it! I worry so much he will get his little feelings hurt and I try to explain to him that some kids do not like to be touched all the time. I explain to him that he needs to respect private space, but he still does it. He just started preschool a few months ago and he always all over the kids. Some kids have actually yelled at him and told him to stop. I guess if he hears it a few times directly from the kids he will get it, because nothing I have said has helped.

Hes such a sweet little guy who loves to hug and I dont want to discourage this side of him. But he has to learn and I believe since nothing I am saying is working it will have to come directly from the children.
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#5 of 5 Old 01-19-2009, 08:01 PM
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Its perfectly normal for your DD to show affection to other kids like hugging, kissing,etc..perhaps you had illustrated love and affection well at home ? And to me, thats a good thing! Your child is still too young to understand about dangers and getting hurt by other kids. You may want to gently hold her hands and distract her by saying "now, little baby needs to rest, lets not disturb her".
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