an epidemic of undiagnosed ND'ed children? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-13-2009, 09:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by prothyraia View Post
I really hope everyone who thinks that the only reason children ever behave like this is because of uninvolved parenting someday has a wonderful, amazing, intense, high-needs, sensory-seeking child. And then comes back to this thread and edits their posts.
LOL.

My son has done all those things at different times. Certainly not all the time or all at once. But he's a GREAT kid! Very high energy, smart, funny, intense, and a physical, sensory learner. When his needs for physical activity, inter-personal stimulation, periods of calm and concentration, adequate sleep, healthy food, and physical contact are being met, he's much, much easier to be around!

And, ugh, I could never be a daycare provider. I do not have the patience or stamina for it!

dissertating mom to three

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Old 03-13-2009, 09:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lolar2 View Post
Do you have only a girl? Because a lot of the behaviors you describe are more common among boys.
This. For sure. Boys tend to be a lot more active and rough and tumble and it's normal and even necessary. Temperment also plays into a lot of this. I've got one kid who is a lot of the list and another who isn't. He whines and his brother doesn't so much. He's a lot more active in play too. Same family/home/parents/environment. Different kids from the get-go.

I do think though that part of this is that negative feelings in the caregiver and attention to the problems leads to more of the same. And then kids start to see themselves as broken when they really aren't. Which also breeds repeats. That's true for things like whining and aggression when angry anyway. Some of the other stuff on the list is just plain normal and fun for some (many?) kids-especially boys.

I know you're no longer in childcare OP and it sounds like that's a good decision for you. But for anyone else Howard Glasser's materials--especially his All Children Flourishing book--is a must read. The approach brings out the best in kids and parents/caregivers alike. All kids. But it is a must for intense kids. Who, actually, can use that intensity for greatness in life if it's valued and nurtured.

Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys! 

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Old 03-14-2009, 01:27 AM
 
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I haven't read all the posts but I have to say I have a new level of respect for childcare providers and pre-school teachers after having my own two, very energetic, spirited, and totally normal kids. They're exhausting!
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Old 03-14-2009, 03:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by emmaegbert View Post
LOL.

My son has done all those things at different times. Certainly not all the time or all at once. But he's a GREAT kid! Very high energy, smart, funny, intense, and a physical, sensory learner. When his needs for physical activity, inter-personal stimulation, periods of calm and concentration, adequate sleep, healthy food, and physical contact are being met, he's much, much easier to be around!

And, ugh, I could never be a daycare provider. I do not have the patience or stamina for it!
:

I wanted to add that caring for *one* high-energy child kicks my butt, I can't imagine having a house full of them, with a regular inability to follow directions thrown into the mix. The OP has lasted longer and done a better job dealing with it than I would have, I'm sure.

I really do think that the high physical energy piece is very much temprement based, though. And that when it's not channeled appropriately that frustation can lead to a lot of the other listening/social problems the OP talked about. My oldest son left me incredibly sore from kicking IN UTERO. I know my parenting couldn't have been screwing him up already!
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Old 03-18-2009, 05:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by uccomama View Post
Okay, I realize many children do this, and they are all different. Can he stop when asked? If not think the issue would be impulse control. It can be dis-regulation.
at what age is impulse control expected? if not fully then for the most part at least.
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