|Actually you might just want to respond with, "you sound angry". since you know of course he loves you. this way you can get to his feelings n not so much worry about the words.|
He's obviously angry so it would help more to show him how to verbalize that in a less hurtful way. Telling him not to say it won't really do any good if he has no real alternative.
If it looks like I'm trying to pick a fight... I'm not, I'm rarely that obvious.
I'm only half kidding. Playfulness really does go a long way with my DS. It gives him a way to calm down and often paves the way to more serious discussion. I used to worry about his apparent lack of concern for my feelings, but after a time it became obvious that he just needed to chill before we could really talk about what happened (or about feelings).
At 3 1/2, it's hard for him to realize the impact that his words have on you. 3 year olds aren't great at taking another person's perspective. It's not that they can't have empathy, but when they're mad, the whole world is mad.
As he gets older, he'll get a better vocabulary for expressing himself and you'll hear less of this.
Now that she is learning to write, I have to laugh because now when she is mad at me, she writes, "I dont luv mame". Today she used a post-it note and stuck it to me, then proceeded to write, "I luv dady" and "I luv Tes" (her babysitter, who was at the house at the time). I have to admit that it makes me want to roll on the floor laughing , but that would make her even more angry...OK, this evening I actually did start laughing , but it was just too funny to resist...I think that I will keep the post-it note...
Apparently doing it rong and ruining it for everyone, but I don't give a crap anymore.
Momma to DD (12/04) and DS (11/09) .
I survived 16 mos! Ask me about breastfeeding a baby with posterior tongue tie, high palate, and weak oral motor skills- whew!