Join Date: Sep 2008
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: Grandmother , 3 Adult Sons
|Even if the second baby was planned and great effort was made to prepare the first child for a sibling, the first born will feel some loss when the new baby comes into the family When the new baby comes, life is never the same again. The following quote is the best description I've ever heard of what it feels like for the first born.
"Imagine how you would feel if your husband (or wife) told you that it was so great having a wife (or husband) he (or she) was going to get another wife (or husband) and you will now be sharing him (or her)!" Just because the parents are in love with the new baby doesn't mean the child should be expected to feel the same right away. The younger the first child is when the new baby arrives, the more time the child will need to bond with this new member of the family.
Children under three usually have the hardest time sharing their parents with the new baby. Many young children tell their parents they want them to send the baby back. Under-threes are still very focused on their parents and still need a lot of attention. When very young children can't get what they need, right when they need it, they get very frustrated and some may express that frustration by trying to hurt the baby. While parents must protect the baby and make it clear that hurting the baby will not be allowed, they must also recognize the behavior as an expression of the child's need for more attention. Punishing the child or withdrawing love and attention will only make the child resent the baby more. It is important to let the child know we understand how hard it is to wait when the baby needs attention and then give the child some love and attention as soon as possible.
Sunny : gun toting, retired breastfeeding, car seat loving, guitar playing, home birthing and schooling mama to Jakob (10.06), Mikah (07.08) and Korah (07.11).
Mommy to kids