Laughing 19 month old problematic? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 05-31-2009, 02:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My daughter is 19 months old and smiles and giggles when I correct her behavior. I try to set-up as much of a "yes" environment as possible, so she's primarily being corrected when she's doing something that is truly dangerous (i.e. hurting our dogs, running into the street, climbing something unstable).

Frequently when she's about to do something that I've corrected in the past she looks at me and says "no? no? no?" first. I am learning to avoid saying "no" for this reason; I usually try to substitute with something more specific/descriptive (i.e. "danger," "stop," "ouch"). I physically remove her from dangerous/destructive situations and/or attempt to redirect her. She finds both my verbal and physical response to be extremely humorous.

I have mixed feelings about time-outs. Dr. Sears says children should be able to handle them by 18 months. My daughter will not sit still for one by herself and if I make her sit with me for "quiet time" when she's just done something completely unacceptable she tries to get up and play within 10 seconds and cries if I try to make her sit back down.

Is she just not developmentally ready for time-out or is there a technique that I'm missing? Is there a better way to convey to her that certain behaviors are unsafe? Or should I just keep removing her from unsafe situations and explaining to her why they aren't safe? I don't mind that she giggles when I correct her, but I do worry that I'm being overly permissive and not teaching her appropriate boundaries.

Thanks in advance for any insight from those of you who have "been there, done that"

daughter #1 10/13/07
daughter #2 10/08/10
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#2 of 7 Old 05-31-2009, 01:49 PM
 
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Or should I just keep removing her from unsafe situations and explaining to her why they aren't safe?
This.

The giggling isn't about defying you or trying to make fun of you or go against what you've told her, its simply a desire to get back to that fun place where you're both happy and connected and flowing smoothly together. The giggling is how she tries to get you back there.
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#3 of 7 Old 05-31-2009, 02:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie View Post
This.

The giggling isn't about defying you or trying to make fun of you or go against what you've told her, its simply a desire to get back to that fun place where you're both happy and connected and flowing smoothly together. The giggling is how she tries to get you back there.

Wow. How did I not get that before now? That makes so much more sense.

Thank you!
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#4 of 7 Old 05-31-2009, 02:46 PM
 
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at that age I just repeated stop or no or whatever and if they didn't do it I physically removed them from doing it. No anger, just if you don't stop- you will stop. Eventually DD just stopped bothering because she knew she was going to be thwarted in her efforts.

My 13 month old is going to have me up and down much more. the force is strong in my little guy. But so far my plan of action is the same.

(btw- I hate the idea of time outs. we only ever did if you are having a fit or can't be good you have to go to the quiet spot. If you can be good then you can come out. no arbitrary time limit. Giving the power and choice back to my DD has really worked wonders in her ability to self regulate her emotions.)

:Retro Mommy to Viv 5/14/04 and my little Bam-Bam Hank 5/16/08 and wife to my electric and electrician hubby Justin: Proud Vegetarian Homeschooling Hippie Freaks!::
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#5 of 7 Old 05-31-2009, 03:29 PM
 
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I don't have any wisdom to share, but my son is 13 months old and VERY active. He also laughs when I try to redirect him. I feel like he doesn't understand that there are any limits to what he can do. It's tough.
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#6 of 7 Old 05-31-2009, 03:53 PM
 
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Or should I just keep removing her from unsafe situations and explaining to her why they aren't safe?
Yes. And I think she's giggling because she thinks it's a game. She's far too young to be "disciplined" in my opinion.

I know Dr. Sears recommends time-outs, but time-outs are just behaviourist training, they don't really teach anything. I suppose they are better than violence, but for instance in Scandinavia, where I live, they're highly controversial and seen as old-fashioned punishment by most people.

Friendly redirecting and explaining, and physically stopping her from hurting herself or others is all you (ever) need to do.
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#7 of 7 Old 05-31-2009, 10:42 PM
 
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I agree with the above posters suggesting that removal and redirection will work best, along with telling what to do instead of saying no. I'm not a fan of time-outs- I don't think they work and would probably build frustration in the child, we've never done one. I have noticed that my ds will laugh at me when I use different voices. It used to bug me until I figured out that he just thought my voice sounded funny because it was different from normal- so whether it's a silly voice or a stern voice it gets a laugh. Now I just try to redirect and tell him what I want him TO do in my normal voice.
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