Appropriate consequence for taking Daddy's dessert? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 92 Old 07-06-2009, 09:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by heartmama View Post
How to say this gently:

The degree of adult emotion, energy, and attention given to this issue is far and away the most urgent problem. I think it is extremely unhealthy for a small child to be exposed to this level of "drama" for being childish in the first instance and perhaps due to the way his father responded, tempted to deliberately engage in a power struggle in the second instance.

I would drop the entire issue, set up definite occassions when he can have treats, and put away foods he cannot have in a place where he cannot find them.

You are going to foster a very unhealthy emotionally attachment to sweets if this keeps up. One of my hard and fast rules with parenting is to never give attention to an issue you don't want to be a 'big deal' in the mind of a small child. Children are so easily influenced by parental emotions. If his father keeps making such a HUGE deal out of this, your child will naturally conclude that sweets are HUGE deal.
Well put!
Don't put a hungry child in a position where he can see a snack he loves but cannot eat it. Don't eat sweets in front of him and tell him he cannot have one because he needs to finish his burrito. A four year old has no impulse control to speak of, he should not be put in a position like that. If he's not allowed to have it, then keep it out of his sight.
And a grown man that carries a grudge against a four year old... That would worry me. Seriously.

~Iris~ Catholic mama to DD1 11/15/05 * DD2 04/28/08 * brokenheart.gif06/23/2010 * and our little rainbow DS 10/07/11 love.gif
 

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#92 of 92 Old 07-06-2009, 10:34 PM
 
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This reminds me so much of the marshmallow experiment.

http://www.ted.com/talks/joachim_de_...allow_yet.html

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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