I had a great childhood and a wonderful relationship with my parents (mother in particular). And you know what? Sometimes she yelled. Sometimes she got upset and angry. Sometimes we pushed her buttons and she responded. BUT- we always knew she loved us. She never called us names, even when she was mad. We were never afraid (though, of course, we didn't like it when she was upset, but... it wasn't a time of fear). We learned that being angry sometimes was OK and that even though someone is angry, it is not permanent and doesn't mean there is any less love. And another benefit is that we never had to guess. We always knew where she stood and she was honest with us about her thoughts and oppinions. We knew *her*, not a facade. It encouraged us to be honest and ourselves too.
Don't be afraid of being mad sometimes. Of being upset. Of showing how you feel. Anger doesn't have to be scary. Anger, passion, even being loud can happen without tearing down others. And we were allowed to be angry too. To shout sometimes (without being mean- there IS a difference). To be clear when we've felt we've been wronged. And my parents would apologize if that was what was needed.
We were never hit. We were never demeaned. We were never afraid (though, like I said, that was not because there was never anger or disagreements). We were treated with respect. We felt a lot of freedom (but looking back, my parents had arranged a safe environment for us to explore). We all co-slept. Really, it was all very AP before AP was a thing.
We grew up with humor. Just as they were not hesitant to tell us when they were upset, they also were not reserved with humor. We had lots of jokes. We poked a bit at eachother, we laughed at ourselves.
We grew up secure- we knew where we stood. We knew we could be honest and that relationships can endure truth and disagreements. We knew we didn't have to be perfect, but we knew that trying and working hard was valuable. We knew we could stand on our own (as we were supported through our challenging things).
We had the opportunity to try lots of things to find what we liked- lessons of all kinds, sports, whatever.
We went to great schools and my parents were involved.
Of course, nothing is perfect. My parents marriage was rocky, but they were committed to our family. We did not have many traditions that could be passed on. I remember missing my mom sometimes as she worked to start her own business. But, this is life. It gave us experiences we learned from.