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Feel like yelling at your child? Yell at this thread instead!

74K views 1K replies 561 participants last post by  MamadeRumi 
#1 ·
Ok, this is a safe place to yell INSTEAD of yelling at your children. This is not meant to be offensive to anybody, just to let off steam rather than subject your kids to it.
I will go first, although that small cup of wine took the edge off enough so I don't feel like yelling now...but here goes for an example....

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!! STOP COMING IN AND OUT! STOP ASKING ME THE SAME QUESTION OVER AND OVER AND OVER....I AM GOING TO GO NUTS AND RUN SCREAMING FOR THE HILLS IF YOU DON'T STOP ARGUING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!! STOP LEAVING YOUR CUP ON THE EDGE OF THE TABLE SO THAT THE BABY SPILLS IT AND I HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP. STOP MAKING YOUR ROOM SUCH A MESS


There. That felt much nicer. Thank you:LOL
 
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#2 ·
LET'S GO! NOW! PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SHOES! PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SHOES! PLEASE GET YOUR COAT. WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW. IT IS TIME TO GO. LET'S GO! NOW PLEASE! GET UP! GET UP! COME ON! <trips over child, restrains self from kicking> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
#3 ·
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME PUT YOUR JACKET ON. PLEASE LET ME FINISH MY DINNER AND THEN I CAN HOLD YOU. PLEASE LET ME WIPE MY BUTT AND THEN I CAN HOLD YOU. PLEASE LET ME PUT DOWN THE GROCERIES AND THEN I CAN HOLD YOU. (Are you all sensing the theme here???).

Thank you. And good night.
 
#4 ·
Quote:
... by pamelamama
LET'S GO! NOW! PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SHOES! PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SHOES! PLEASE GET YOUR COAT. WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW. IT IS TIME TO GO. LET'S GO! NOW PLEASE! GET UP! GET UP! COME ON! <trips over child, restrains self from kicking> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Ditto.
 
#5 ·
I could have used this thread earlier when all I wanted to do was scream....

MY EARS ARE GOING TO START BLEEDING IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS WHINING!!!! STOP GALLOPING PAST THE BABY'S ROOM LIKE AN ELEPHANT!!!! IT'S TIME TO STOP BEING A DINOSAUR AND BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?!?! NO - DON'T GROWL...I TOLD YOU IT'S TIME TO BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ANSWER ME! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
 
#6 ·
PLEASE STOP TOUCHING THE COMPUTER. PLEASE STOP0 TOUCHING THE COMPUTER! NO! NO COMPUTER. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MOMMY'S COMPUTER. MOMMY CAN'T AFFORD A NEW ONE. PLEASE STOP SMACKING THE COMPUTER.

(child forcibly removes space bar from keyboard and now space bar doesn't work upon reinstallation! grrr...)

PLEASE STOP TOUCHING THE F***ING COMPUTER! ARGH!!!

Ahhh, that's better.
 
#7 ·
:fiSTOP KICKING THE WALL!!! DON'T JUMP ON THE BED! GRANDMA IS SITTING ON THE BED AND IF YOU JUMP ON HER, YOU WILL HURT HER! DID YOU HEAR ME? i SAID STOP JUMPING ON THE BED!!! LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE! ALLRIGHT ITS TIME FOR BED!


Aahh, now what was that you needed dear????
 
#8 ·


no, you can't have mama's juice. STOP GRABBING IT! STOP WHINING < I PUT IT UP FOR A REASON! would you like your own juice? we don't throw juice. AUGHHHH, I SAID NO THROWING JUICE!!! STOP HITTING ME. NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE MY CUP!!!!!
ARGHHH, HERE.

AUGHHHHHH!!!!!!! THATS WHY I SAID YOU COULDNT HAVE IT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD POUR IT ALL OVER YOURSELF!!!! WHY DON'T YOU GET IT
 
#14 ·
Quote:
IT'S TIME TO STOP BEING A DINOSAUR AND BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?!?! NO - DON'T GROWL...I TOLD YOU IT'S TIME TO BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ANSWER ME! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
or a saber tooth cat, or a wolly mammoth.......This is SOOO our house (kinda regreading getting the walking with dino/walking with prehistoric beasts set now)
 
#15 ·


Quote:
IT'S TIME TO STOP BEING A DINOSAUR AND BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?!?! NO - DON'T GROWL...I TOLD YOU IT'S TIME TO BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ANSWER ME! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


I sooooooooooooooooooooooo second that emotion.

AND NO, I WON'T PICK UP YOUR TOY THAT YOU PURPOSELY KNOCKED OFF THE COUNTER ALONG WITH MY STACK OF PAPERS AND BOOKS EVEN THOUGH I'VE ASKED YOU TEN ZILLION TIMES NOT TO KNOCK THINGS OFF THE COUNTER! Wha.....? STOP POURING WATER ON THE COUNTER!
 
#16 ·
And tonight in the store parking lot it was....

Trevor. Trevor...the umbrella. You're hitting people with your umbrella Trevor. The car Trevor, YOU'RE HITTING THE CAR NOW!! DO YOU SEE? DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?? YOU'RE HITTING THE CAR WITH YOUR UMBRELLA!!!

Ha ha. If they weren't so cute and so hopelessly in their own world - I'd sell them! :LOL

Quote:
or a saber tooth cat, or a wolly mammoth.......This is SOOO our house (kinda regreading getting the walking with dino/walking with prehistoric beasts set now)
Yes we have seen the saber tooth tiger appear many times..."Mommy, look at my teeth, see my teeth? Look at my huge teeth...are you looking at my teeth? I'm a saber tooth...see my teeth??" AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I love kids! I am glad there are a couple more out there with "beasts" living in the house! :LOL
 
#20 ·
STOP YELLING AT YOUR BROTHER!

Whenever I think of yelling this, it always makes me crack up at the thought of my yelling, STOP YELLING, and somehow the irony disapates the desire to yell.... but it IS fun to yell here.

What about what we'd love to yell at our spouse?

GET UP AND HELP ME!

WHY IS THE HOUSE A MESS? HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHITE MAN!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AND A TODDLER!!!!!!!!!!!!And a 5 YEAR OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MAYBE THAT IS WHY THE HOUSE IS A MESS.
 
#22 ·
KATRI NO MOUTH!!!! No no no! that's the doggies food not Katri food.. Katri NO MOUTH! Put that handful back! NO MOUTH!!! good girl come see mommy.. (crawls over fussing in defeat) Good girl now want some Nummies? (spits out a kibble) ACK! Katri NO MOUTH NO MOUTH NO MOUTH!!!
Katri.... POTTY!! You pottied on mommy! DON'T PLAY IN THE POTTY!!
 
#23 ·
I don't know where your sunglasses are.
I don't know. Wherever you left them.
Please don't ask me where because I don't know, and I'm trying to eat right now.
I DON"T KNOW!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP ASKING ME WHERE YOUR FRICKENFRACKEN SUNGLASSES ARE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW AND I REALLY DON'T CARE!!!!
I. SAID. I. DON'T. KNOW.

Ya know, I fed your brother, I fed you, I am TRYING to take care of myself, I am HUNGRY and I want you to STOP TALKING TO ME. NO QUESTIONS! JUST LET ME EAT IN PEACE.

If I hear the word, "sunglasses" one more time, something very bad is going to happen.

Like Mama is going to explode. EXPLODE!!!!!

I'm glad you think that's so funny, you WRETCHED LITTLE INGRATE!
 
#25 ·
:LOL I am freaking dying here ...:LOL Ok here is my yell for the day, well I would yell this everyday

STOP JUMPING ON THE BED! WHY MUST I REPEAT THIS A MILLION TIMES A DAY! STOP JUMPING ON THE BED!

NO YOU MAY NOT HAVE CANDY IT IS 8AM

PLEASE STOP LICKING YOUR BROTHER, PLEASE STOP TOUCHING YOUR BROTHER, PLEASE STOP TEASING YOUR BROTHER

and of course the classic

GET DRESSED, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES, PUT ON YOUR COAT THE BUS IS COMINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:LOL Thanks for the laughs ladies!
 
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