Swearing? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 47 Old 11-02-2009, 09:12 PM
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I generally don't swear. Dh does around "the guys," but not around the kids.

I don't allow my children to use "swear words," and yes, our policy is that those are "adult words" and they can decide about them when they're adults.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds
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  11yo dd
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 9yo ds and 7yo ds
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and 2yo ds 
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#32 of 47 Old 04-10-2010, 11:49 PM
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I'm so glad I found this thread. My 2yo has been using the f word because DH says it. Actually he says "f****** thing". My husband is always fixing something. Now my son says it when his trike isn't doing what he wants it to do, etc.

I was approaching the situation like it was so serious, I am an 'Oh my Gosh' person and that's at something serious, also I have a high pain tollerance and so even pretty bad injuries get a deep breath and that's about it. And I grew up going to catholic school...

First I tried ignoring the word for about a week or so, he kept saying it so I started pretending he was saying it wrong, no Daddy says "fixing things!" LOL. WHo was I kidding? Now I've been trying to help him expand his vocabulary, when I hear him say it I'll give him more ways to say what he is feeling.

After reading this thread I feel I was being uptight. Today I was telling him it's a bad word then I said dirty word, and it really got me thinking, really? is it really a bad word? Tomorrow if he says it I might just tell him what it means... jk...maybe, "is your tricycle really making baby tricycles?" I know he'd say yes and think that was hilarious.

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#33 of 47 Old 04-11-2010, 04:34 PM
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double posted for some reason
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#34 of 47 Old 04-11-2010, 05:07 PM
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I try not to swear but it happens sometimes. Usually when I'm driving, or sometimes when all three dogs go off barking at a really bad time. I feel a responsibility to explain to our kids, especially the super-outgoing 7 yo, which words will not be acceptable to other adults and will get him into trouble in activities with other kids/adults; which words will get other kids into trouble with their parents if they learn them from him; and which will have other people thinking he's a really rude kid if he's heard using them. He processes all this information. He does not want to be thought of badly. After I swear I generally catch myself, apologize, and explain that was "one of those words".

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#35 of 47 Old 04-11-2010, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Hedgehog Mtn View Post
Pretty much that.

We don't ever permit using a curse word (or a mean one for that matter) towards someone else. I don't let my kids drink alcohol or other adult things so I don't feel bad telling them there are words they can't use that we can. I do try hard to limit my own use of them and usually it's in pain or REALLY bad news (like "honey I totaled the car this morning")

Bolding mine..... Yes, this.

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#36 of 47 Old 04-11-2010, 08:10 PM
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We have potty mouths, the kids do not...my dd (9) uses "barnacles" from sponge bob square pants when shes upset but thats as close at it gets. My 7 yr old one time said "that scared the he** outta me" when I said "what did you say he said "that scared the heck outta me" and we left it at that..I dont chastize them for a slip but they all know that adult words are for adults..just like other "adult only" stuff

Another family we know allows their children to say whatever they want to whoever they want..the F bomb, B word, and the P words are part of everyday conversation with their 6 yr old, but my kids only said its not cool to call people bad names..so they just don't use the language

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#37 of 47 Old 04-13-2010, 09:09 PM
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I don't swear in front of ds....I may have spelled a swear in front of him before though (not for much longer as he is now interested in sounding out words).

I have accidentally swore (sh*t) a few times and then quickly apologized and said "wow that wasn't' a nice word; I should have said shoot" ...things like that.

BUT i work with kids for a living so i'm pretty used to not swearing anyway.

me, dh and 2 boys = our family (oh and a cat...who is also a male...lol)
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#38 of 47 Old 04-19-2010, 10:43 PM
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I decided to make a big effort to stop using "bad" words after, the same day, ds told me "do you know that f***ing sh*t is a bad word?" and asked me in front of someone why I had called a certain person a fat cow (he wasn't supposed to hear that). That was so embarassing!

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#39 of 47 Old 04-20-2010, 01:43 PM
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We do swear here. I swear on occasion when I'm pretty mad, but dh swears quite a bit. Both of my kids have sworn before but we try to give them better options to express anger, and they know that swearing outside of our house is a big no no.

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#40 of 47 Old 04-20-2010, 04:00 PM
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I swear like a sailor...can't help it! I am always swearing in front of my DS. I don't swear AT him, but he hears me say "bad" words a lot. The worst that I have ever heard my DS say was "bastard" and when he saw the look on our faces he immediately apologized. Like another PP, he says "barnacles", "fish paste" (from Spongebob) and "Oh, cannonballs" (from Flapjack).

DS 8/4/04 "You're my best mommy in the deep blue sea!"
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#41 of 47 Old 12-24-2011, 07:33 AM
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We have a very "swearing active" household...pretty much any and all swear words (except racist words) are used frequently and freely in our house, with no censorship at all. We are DEFINITELY of the belief that words are just words and that the English language should be used to its fullest. With that being our family policy, our kids (including our 5 year old dd) have always been allowed to swear as much as they wish. BUT what we have instilled in them is that there is a time and place for it.  At home: any time and always is ok. Other times: school, older relatives' homes---perhaps not as much. They have learned very quickly and easily when not to swear. We actively allow and encourage our kids to use whatever words they feel comfortable using, and we will absolutely not change that policy.

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#42 of 47 Old 12-26-2011, 08:20 AM
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I'm old school, I guess, according to the answers here.  Apparently people on mothering.com swear a lot.  I don't and neither do the people I work with or am friends with.  I don't think swearing is cool or interesting or adorable when toddlers or kids do it.     My kids don't swear because neither my dh nor I swear.  There are so many words in the English language that could describe our feelings at any given time, it's really unnecessary to resort to swearing as a fall-back verbal exclamation point.

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#43 of 47 Old 12-28-2011, 08:11 AM
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It's ok to be "old school." But our opinion is that words are just words, so why fear them? Plus, it's a real part of the culture. Kids are going to hear these so-called "bad words," and they are eventually going to use them. So why are we trying to shelter them from them? Take away the taboo and they are just words. If that is done, then there are no swear words anyway.  We feel that it is very unrealistic to keep kids away from swear words and to tell them such words are "bad."

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#44 of 47 Old 01-01-2012, 06:55 PM
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We try not to swear in front of DD. Occasionally DH and I let one slip but we try to set a good example. I also have to watch the swearing where I work so it's good practice to not swear. I don't think swearing is wrong but I prefer to save special words for special occasions and in our household it's not appropriate to use swearing in our daily conversations. 


I don't want anyone to think I don't understand the theory that "words are words" and intention is important. I do want you to know that I've been involved in conversations, and also witnessed conversations, where people could not utter a single sentence without inserting a swear word. I personally don't like those kinds of conversations.


Shann, I disagree with the idea that it's part of the culture and therefore why try to avoid swearing. Swearing is not appropriate in all places at all times. I know three people in totally different professional circumstances who lost their jobs because they swore in the workplace. One person was called unprofessional and two people swore at a supervisor. Somehow these people did not learn to differentiate between when it is and is not OK to swear. 


Take away the taboo and they are just words. If that is done, then there are no swear words anyway.


No. The whole point of a swear word is that it IS a taboo. If the "f" word became just another adjective then another swear word would emerge. That's how language works. ALL languages have swear words because swear words serve a function. 


Bottom line: I don't like people swearing at me. Many years ago I had a boyfriend who used to say "F__k you" to everyone including me. I asked him to not say that to me because I really didn't like it and it hurt my feelings. He could not (or would not) stop. That ended our relationship. 


My father rarely swore and the worst thing he ever said was, "Damn."  My mother NEVER swore. None of my sibs or I swear in front of my mother and we never swore with my father. My DH has never sworn at me and rarely swears at anyone. 


I'm not saying I never swear. I do. Just not often.  For me the moments when I do swear give me a deep sense of satisfaction because it's such a rare thing. :)

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#45 of 47 Old 01-31-2012, 01:07 AM
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Like a number of you, we have a very open attitude to swearing in our house, both my boys, who are three and five, swear both round the house and in public. My bf and I have never seen it necessary to change our behaviour or language, just because we have children around, and we simply see swear words as a normal part of everyday language to be enjoyed. This has created problems for my eldest, who has just started school, and the teacher there doesnt share my opinion about swear words, so lets just say we are in the middle of some 'heated discussions' on the topic with the school.   

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#46 of 47 Old 01-31-2012, 02:20 AM
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we swear, our kids swear but we have explained that there are some places you don't swear and that there are often BETTER words to use than swear words. I think it is disrespectful to swear in certain places and that applies to children as well as adults. People need to learn that while some behavior  is appropriate at home or around friends it may not/is not appropriate at work, school.  I think it is doing a disservice to a child to not teach them that certain behavior is inappropriate in certain situations. While one may think it is okay to swear where ever, the people around them will not agree and that could impact the child in a negative way. I believe in giving my children the ability to fit into any situation because it broadens the possibilities for the child.

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#47 of 47 Old 01-31-2012, 08:28 AM
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I swear like a sailor, and I consider this to be old-fashioned because my grandparents were some salty, salty folks.  I'm perfectly capable of switching away from my vernacular when in the company of nice people.  I'm sure I'll have a few very interesting conversations with educators, grandparents...  but I intend to explain what the words are, what they mean, and what the response from different kinds of people will be when daughter uses those words.  Then she can choose how to express herself.

lovestory.gif   And on 09/23/2011, we were three;  husband, daughter, and me!

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