I left my child out in the cold. Was it wrong? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 32 Old 12-10-2009, 10:36 PM
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I don't force my children to wear certain items when they are outside (well, I don't let them out naked. . .). I would have done the same thing with the shoes and socks. I wouldn't have argued about the coat, I would have just said okay when she decided not to wear it, but I might have said something like, "well, I'll just grab it out of the car then so you have it if you need it". I wouldn't have hid behind the car. I don't believe in making children believe you've left them (this plays on the biggest fear most children have which is probably why she decided to wear the coat, she was scared you'd leave her). I do say things like, "I'm going now, I hope you come too. . .they always follow along, though sometimes at a distance.

As for the carrying, I just would have said my hands were full and I couldn't carry her right now. I wouldn't have argued, I would have just made my comment and kept walking.

I think when she came inside and told you she needed a hug was a way of reassuring herself that you still loved her--which is great. Later in the evening or the next day I would probably explain that I would never leave her. . .but she has to make choices to come with me when I tell her I'm going now.

Barbara:  an always learning SAHM of Ilana (11) and Aiden (8) living in Belgium with my amazing husband.

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#32 of 32 Old 12-11-2009, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by MayBaby2007 View Post
Brainstorming is a wonderful thing and I appreciate you doing so, trying to figure out what may have been wrong with her. I just have to defend myself a bit here and say that we are VERY affectionate. I hug, kiss and tell her I love her 1,000 times/day. We also still cuddle quite a bit. Even though she's an independent toddler, I'm lucky she still crawls on my lap for long cuddle sessions.
I'm sorry, you misunderstood. I didn't mean that anything you were doing or not doing was causing her behavior. Sometimes kids are just "off". I just meant that maybe you should have stopped sooner through the progression of struggles and reconnected. Not that you don't do that on a regular basis. I just know that when my kid is constantly battling me, we have to take a break and change gears for a little while. I'm NOT saying cater to her every whim.
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