I want to barf! - Mothering Forums
Gentle Discipline > I want to barf!
midnightmommy's Avatar midnightmommy 07:46 PM 01-04-2010
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/he...udy-finds.html

People on facebook are going on and on about how great this new "study" is.

thefragile7393's Avatar thefragile7393 07:56 PM 01-04-2010
Yeah it's great because it salves their guilty consciences.
I can't say I turned out great. Well, let me re-phrase that, I turned out ok in spite of what was done, not because of what was done. I had anger issues at a young age and hit kids in class when they ticked me off...learned behavior. I despised my father for many years because of his discipline ideas (and my mom's).
I've made peace with all that, but oh how hard it is to break the cycle. I can't say I'm more optimistic or a better person for being spanked....and I don't mean a tap on the butt I mean the full out whack whack with hairbrushes and leaving marks with hands.
ann_of_loxley's Avatar ann_of_loxley 08:18 PM 01-04-2010
I turned out fantastic! I am optimistic, determined, a 'strong' person, etc. I did fantastic in school, I went to university, I love helping out where I can, etc.
I was not only spanked - I was beat and sexually molested as a small child.
Did my childhood make me who I am today? - You bet! I have no doubt my horrible childhood has made me a better person because I got the help I needed and don't want that cycle repeating itself - ever. But it does NOT make what happend to me good or right or ideal in any way!
I have had years of counceling and have made peace with all of that as well. There are some things conditioned into me that are hard to break too (such as to hit when I am angry). But at the end of the day, I want my son to do the right thing for the right reason. How could they even bother making such an article and/or doing such research? I would say thats highly flawed. And why bother? Whos gonna read that and think 'Id really like my child to be more optimistic and attend university in the future - so ill start giving them a good smack every now and then when they step of line!'. Its a bit of a sick conclusion really to say 'spank your child = create a great person!'...I feel its just like my own life experiences. No one would dare say 'abuse your child = create a great person!'. Ugh!
sapphire_chan's Avatar sapphire_chan 11:47 PM 01-04-2010
Not going to read the article, because I don't want to wake the baby up with ranting, but did anyone notice if the article mentioned how the study compensated for permissive parents vs parents who use gentle discipline?
tanyam926's Avatar tanyam926 12:13 AM 01-05-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Not going to read the article, because I don't want to wake the baby up with ranting, but did anyone notice if the article mentioned how the study compensated for permissive parents vs parents who use gentle discipline?
From what I read the study didn't mention permissive parents vs gentle discipline at all.

It seems to me that somewhere recently there was a generation of people who were hit/spanked/tapped, w/e, as children and decided to do the opposite w/their kids. Not knowing what else to do they became permissive which led to unsympathetic, entitled, out of control kids and then adults. I think they are comparing apples to oranges and in no way could they get truly unbiased results that way.

I also think that people who talk about how things used to be better when kids were spanked "back in the day" are ridiculous. Yes, we may have had more social control over individual members of society but I seem to remember many horrendous events throughout history (like major human rights violations and serious moral failings) back in the good ol' days.

Study or no study, children are human beings and hurting another human being bc you don't like something they do is wrong. If my chilren learn this life lesson I will feel like I did a good job.
merrybee's Avatar merrybee 12:19 AM 01-05-2010

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