Ugh. She's always in time-out - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 36 Old 02-08-2010, 12:42 AM
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We don't do time outs with our 2-year old, but I've heard that if you do them, it should be no longer than 2 minutes for a 2 yr-old, 3 min. for a 3yo, etc. I don't think it makes sense or would help to try to make such a young child sit for any longer than that. I take our our step stool or step ladder and put them in a carpeted place for my daughter to practice climbing.
I think it does help to empathize with a child: "I see that you're having fun climbing on the couch. You love to climb, don't you? I would really like for you to be able to climb, but I also really want for you to be safe. When you climb here I worry that you'll get hurt. Let's find something else fun for you to do..." Then redirect. This is my strategy and most kids seem very responsive to this. Good luck finding a way out of the power struggles - we all go there from time to time!
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#32 of 36 Old 02-08-2010, 01:01 AM
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We have about 2 feet of snow outside right now, and while I don't take the 4 month old out in it, the 8 year old and 18 month old are out in it every possible day. Kids NEED to use their bodies, they need to climb, run, jump, and grow- keeping them cooped up inside and punishing them for following a natural instinct is simply unfair, and setting them up for failure.

Redirect- 'we can't climb on the chair, let's play with X for a few minutes before we go out for a walk to burn off some energy?'

We also have a very small home, but the interior is largely overtaken with kid stuff for now. There is a small slide to climb, a mini trampoline, and a neat fold down target game for throwing small balls and bean bags at.

Honor the fact that a child is not a mini adult- while we may not have the energy to want to climb, run, jump etc- it is a very real and constant need for them. I suspect that if you can find a way to get enough outside playtime, and gross motor use you'll see a rapid improvement in behavior.
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#33 of 36 Old 02-08-2010, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
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For me, the cold issue is that it bothers my knee a lot. She doesn't mind it one bit but it puts me in a lot of pain.

We're going to try the stack of pillows idea. Its just very frustrating because a lot of the stuff in the house isn't kid friendly.
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#34 of 36 Old 02-10-2010, 07:41 PM
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OP, you have my sympathy, and I hope you find something that works for you, but I have to agree with this.

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
And from observing families that use time-outs, it's a million times easier and more fun than giving a time-out 300 times.
The poster was saying that it's more fun to remove a child from a couch 300 times than... the rest of the quote.

I was at a friends house a few weeks ago, and she put her 3 yo in time out, but he kept sneaking out early, so she'd put him back in for 1 more minute, then he'd sneak out again, and it went on and on, and by the 5th time I was thinking, when is this going to end?! Ugh! It was more punishment for the adults than for him.

I've occasionally felt guilty for not using time outs, because I know my DD can be pretty wild, but I know our experience would be like the OPs, and I'd rather not put us all through that. I do just redirect a thousand times. It usually sinks in eventually.

ETA: what about climbing up on the bed? The biggest bed in house so that she can also jump. I totally don't mind DD climbing and jumping on our bed, because at least the floor underneath it is carpeted.

Amy (34): mommy to DD1 (11/07) and DD2 (7/10), wife, wohm, and wannabe suburban homesteader.
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#35 of 36 Old 02-10-2010, 07:57 PM
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hugs mama. 2 can be a difficult age as your little one explores and grows. you've gotten great advice though! i especially agree with buying a trampoline or climbing set that's acceptable. my ds LOVES his trampoline. we have one with handles like this:
hang in there. it took a little while for my dd and i to find our groove, as we learned to communicate and respect each other. my little girl is 8 now and we get along beautifully. it gets easier! hugs.

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#36 of 36 Old 02-10-2010, 08:22 PM
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Originally Posted by KurumiSophia View Post
We're going to try the stack of pillows idea. Its just very frustrating because a lot of the stuff in the house isn't kid friendly.
We're lucky enough to have one large closet I can use for crafting stuff or we'd be constantly driven crazy.

Your location is in Indiana, any chance you're in reasonable (like 30minutes-hour) driving distance of Indianapolis? You guys could come to the Children's Museum. I have a +2 membership there and could get you and your dd in for free so you could check it out and see if you want to get a membership and go more often.

It is definitely worth at least one visit even with a 1-2 hour drive
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