Originally Posted by bubblesispreggers
What am I doing wrong?
Do I just continue to allow him to run away when I try to take a toy away or scream at me and kick? What do I do?
I doubt you are doing anything wrong.
Kicking is an immediate loss of shoes in my house. I know everybody probably thinks "He's just a baby, he hasn't learned yet". But, three is old enough to know better. My three year olds can pour water for the little ones, they dress themselves, they can use a phone....they are completely capable of many things.
I really do think you should give him a few weeks to adjust. He's used to a whole other set of rules. (maybe no rules) and his parents may or may not have the tools other parents have. Sometimes a strong child is overwhelming, so some parents just give up and do nothing, rather than have a struggle that they often don't win. Some parents had little parenting themselves and don't really know what else to do.
He is bright, and CAN learn that you have rules at your house, and he is going to be fine.
Kids come to my house, and walking around the house with food or drinks is forbidden. But, at home a lot of them can carry food all over. They have no problems learning right away that we can't do that here.
I would try to stop using time out. It isn't working anyway. Use it only when you realllllly need a break from him. I wouldn't chase him either. You might need to find a way to contain him in one area though. I use baby gates to keep one side of the house blocked off. That still leaves them with one entire half of a very big house. But, if I needed a smaller area, I'd probably buy a baby cage thing. (long set of gates) and block off the kitchen, that way they'd only have two rooms to play in, and I could have more control. I think those cages are about $60 new. But, I am not sure. (don't google baby cage... it's a disturbing journey... those things have another name that I can't think of right now)
If after two weeks, you still can't get a handle on this, maybe you should consider dropping the family. Maybe suggest a large daycare center where he would be with 15 other kids his age, and those kids will hopefully teach him acceptable social skills. Plus a center is sometimes more "wild" friendly, since it's intended for kids only, and it doesn't double as a home. So, not much is off limits.
Good luck with this! I have been there, done that.