Disapponted in our Montessori Wraparound program (time outs) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 02-17-2010, 03:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For a variety of reasons, I am really disappointed with our Montessori school's wraparound program.

One of the main points of Montessori is respect for the child.

I feel that time outs are in opposition of that.

I realize in a group care setting that sometimes kids get out of control, and that time out may seem easy.

But I know for a fact that many other group care settings (i.e. day care centers that I like or think I would like here) do NOT use time outs.

Additionally, I am not opposed to time out if used judiciously, and only for the purpose of stopping violent or other wild behavior (that might hurt other children), and only for long enough for the child to collect themselves. I also would not call that time out, but more of a quiet time, or cooling off time, a break, etc. But our school is doing it for every reason imaginable. I was told they even use time out if a child doesn't want to help cleanup.

Additionally, the recently acquired a pack and play so that one of the young toddlers could use it for napping as she had never slept outside of a crib. Monday when I picked up my children, the pack 'n play was in the far corner of the room with a child standing in it "crying" (not really crying, but whining I guess to get out or something). The teacher said "oh yeah, I just put him in there". My children (2 and 5, so I don't know how accurate this is) tell me the pack 'n play is being used for time out. I was flabbergasted. This is not acceptable to me.

I spoke with another mom, and she also has a big issue with this too.

Assuming I can resolve the other issues I am having with the wraparound, I would like to see if I could get the time out policy changed.

Does anyone have any links or whatnot to stuff I can print out that describes what is wrong with time outs? Or any other suggestions for me on how to tackle this issue?
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#2 of 10 Old 02-17-2010, 04:39 PM
 
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Combined with your other thread about this school, I'd pull my kids out ASAP and get my money back.

If it were one thing or the other, I'd try talking with them and working out a solution, but it sounds like they basically feel like it's too much trouble to do their job watching the kids.

If you only needed to change one set of behaviors by the school, that'd be possible, as it is you'd need to tell them they're being completely wrong and if they're completely wrong there's bound to be a place that's a better fit.
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#3 of 10 Old 02-17-2010, 04:47 PM
 
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Time-out is not in line with a true Montessori environment. I really wish Montessori would get itself copyrighted... it's this kind of thing that gives it a bad name.

Get your child out!
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#4 of 10 Old 02-17-2010, 05:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Snuzzmom View Post
Time-out is not in line with a true Montessori environment. I really wish Montessori would get itself copyrighted... it's this kind of thing that gives it a bad name.

Get your child out!
And out school is AMI certified!

In September, dd was still in the toddler program. I heard her doing pretend play related to time out. I assumed she picked this up from my sister that we had visited the month before. She does time out with her son (who was not even 2 yet). But to be sure, I asked her teacher. Her toddler room school teacher. She claimed they would never consider doing time out. I put the issue to rest.

I guess a figure out a little bit ago that so-and-so was in time out. I assumed it was something rare.

But lately I've been hearing more and more time out play and stories from my 2 dd's (dd1 goes to public school Kindy and walks over to wraparound at dd2's school after her school lets out). That is when I have discovered time outs being used so much.

dd1 helped cleanup some toys on Monday. I asked the teacher (jokingly) how they heck did she manage that when I can't get her to clean up at home. She said they use time outs and don't let them play if they don't clean up. To me that is unacceptable.
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#5 of 10 Old 02-17-2010, 05:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Snuzzmom View Post
Time-out is not in line with a true Montessori environment. I really wish Montessori would get itself copyrighted... it's this kind of thing that gives it a bad name.

Get your child out!
there are 3 other problems with that right now.

1. We are under a contract for the tuition for the school portion and there are no refunds.
2. dd1 is in Kindy at the public school. The building is attached to the building the Montessori school is in (technically it is all 1 big building also shared by BOCES). She walks to the Montessori school after school for wraparound. If we leave, then I won't have care for her after school. I also don't think we could arrange busing to a center this late in the school year.
3. If dd2 went to a day care center now, she would be in a toddler room. I really don't want that. She is not a typical toddler. I want her in a preschool room. But DCFS regulations will not allow that until she is within 3 months of her birthday. That does not happen until June 7th. The Monetessori school year is over by then (last day is June 4th).
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#6 of 10 Old 02-17-2010, 05:17 PM
 
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Oooo, it's a public program? Nail them to the wall with state regulations.
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#7 of 10 Old 02-17-2010, 05:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Oooo, it's a public program? Nail them to the wall with state regulations.
Is this because of the NYS Board of Regents accreditation? Does that mean it is a public program?

Their website states:
The **** Montessori School is accredited by both the Association Montessori Internationale (AMI) and the New York State Board of Regents. As an independent school, it is open to all interested families; it is not affiliated with any religious, social or business organization.
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#8 of 10 Old 02-17-2010, 05:27 PM
 
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My guess is that yes the NYS accreditation means that they have to mean state requirements. I was assuming public because it's attached to the public school, but that was my misreading of your post (I'd gotten the idea it was held *in* the public school)

You mentioned in your other thread that they aren't licensed as a daycare because they break daycare rules, but I'd bet there are rules for schools that they do have to follow.
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#9 of 10 Old 02-18-2010, 02:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ok, I am feeling a little better about everything. I will post this same response to the other threads about this situation too.

I spoke with the director.

She says that my dd2 eats at a table separate from the rest of the kids and that the table she uses is never used for eating for any other child. Also, she says the snack table is not used for any of the toys/activities.

As far as cleaning the hands and faces, she says that she will speak with them about it, but in general it shouldn't happen. dd2 is a messy eater, but she said her face should be getting cleaned. The older (kindy) students do normally do their own and typically wouldn't be happy if a teacher tried to do it for them. And they normally do a good job cleaning themselves up. My dd1 who is in Kindy at the public school did not go to Montessori. She is a different story. She is not good about it as the Montessori students are. The director told me I should work with her more at home so that she will clean her own face (and well). I think she will also have the staff check to be sure too.

And related to the issue about time outs. She initially stated that they do not do time outs. I told her this was not true. My kids and other kids (I spoke with another mom) play act this at home. The kids tell me about the time outs. The teachers tell me they use time outs. I really think this is a case of the director not realizing what the teachers were doing. I will follow up with her again on this to see if she is planning to address this with the teachers or what. But it is not apparently what is supposed to be happening. She said that it is true that if a child does not clean up their toys, they may not play with/get other toys out. They have a choice to sit and not play or clean up what they were playing with, but it is not a time out.

I am still concerned about the cetaphil cream (contains almond oil) in her classroom though. I asked about moving dd to a different room, and was told they can't (won't?) do that. It is policy not to change rooms, and they have other kids with allergies too (or something along those lines). The child who uses the cetaphil cream for her eczema has the eczema on her face. My concern is that dd2 may come into contact with the cream, either directly or more likely indirectly.
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#10 of 10 Old 02-18-2010, 06:32 PM
 
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Tentatively hopeful. It's definitely good news about the tables and that actually sounds safer for your dd than them trying to remember to wash the tables after a dairy snack.

I'm still that she wouldn't address the problem with the face cream though. It's like instead of really handling the allergy concerns, she sort of taking things one by one and just trying to see if she can get away with the bare minimum.
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