I need help mamas! (I hurt my child) - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 37 Old 03-28-2010, 01:00 PM
 
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Parenting is the most challenging job in the world.

Mother to two great kids. &
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#32 of 37 Old 03-30-2010, 12:19 AM
 
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Asparagus, I read through and other than a lot of great discussion here, something caught my attentiuon because it is something that affects everyone in my family. You wrote that you are vegetarian, and I wondered if you are being very careful about having enough protein- both you and your son. Do you eat eggs and dairy?

We eat traditional foods, so (for us) lots and lots of meat and fat, and what led me to learning more about diet is that I noticed that if my dc don't have high density protein and fats at breakfast from butter and eggs at least, the whole day is full of conflict and emotional meltdowns. It's the same for me.

They need protein at least three times each day in some form, and so do I, and breakfast is the absolute most important protein meal. Also there can be no sugar intake before breakfast at all, in any form, including fruit. The first thing in their stomachs has to be fat and protein with a complex carb like a slice of bread or two.

Perhaps the timing of various foods that you eat is having a negative effect on you both. Without enough properly timed protein and fat, my mood and emotional control really flags quickly, and it's the same for dp and our dc.

Well, I've been absent for 8 months, and during that time, it turns out that I have completely transformed. You are all precious. Thank you for being here and sharing your lives. You are truly a gift. namaste.gif Jan. 23, 2012

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#33 of 37 Old 05-22-2014, 09:00 PM
 
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“Your defining act of love for your child will not be the 2:00 AM feedings, the sleepless, fretful night spent beside him in the hospital, or the second job you took to pay for college. Your zenith will occur in the face of a withering blast of frightening rage from your child, in allowing no rage from yourself in response. Your finest moment may well be your darkest. And you will be a parent.” (Michael J. Bradley)

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#34 of 37 Old 05-23-2014, 12:07 PM
 
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It sounds like your plate is full to overflowing. No sleep, a baby and a three and a half year old. Being overwhelmed is very natural at this stage. It sounds like you need a little me time to rest, sleep and regroup. 

We all do things when we are exhausted that we would never do otherwise. Acknowledge you made a mistake and try to forgive yourself. You are spending a lot of energy you really need elsewhere, beating yourself up. If you allow yourself to take a break you will feel much better and will be sure never to repeat the behavior again.Forgiveness does not mean that what we have done is alright , it just means that we are going to let it go and not let it hold us in a pattern of shame and guilt. It frees up that energy for getting better.

'  It also sounds lie your three and a half year old is struggling with the green eyed monster , jealousy. He is throwing temper tantrums to get your attention because he feels displaced and scared because he has been dethroned. 

 Once you get to feeling better and have taken some me time , a small amount of dedicated three and  a half year old time will be great for both of you. He misses you and you miss the old him:)

  Where will I get the time , you ask. Figure the time you are having to spend on discipline and use that. If you can be proactive and give him the time he needs without him having to misbehave or throw a tantrum he won't need to misbehave so much:) let me know if you don't mind.

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#35 of 37 Old 05-27-2014, 04:38 PM
 
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Sounds like the Patterson Coercive Cycle:

 

http://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=13994

 

The article gives some methods for breaking the cycle.   I see you are walking away and that is one way to break the cycle, so I hope you can do that and use some of the other effective methods if they fit with your parenting philosophy.

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#36 of 37 Old 05-28-2014, 04:47 AM
 
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You guys do know that the original post is four years old.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilybear View Post

“Your defining act of love for your child will not be the 2:00 AM feedings, the sleepless, fretful night spent beside him in the hospital, or the second job you took to pay for college. Your zenith will occur in the face of a withering blast of frightening rage from your child, in allowing no rage from yourself in response. Your finest moment may well be your darkest. And you will be a parent.” (Michael J. Bradley)

That might be true some of the time, but obviously he has not had a child with extreme rages.
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#37 of 37 Old 06-06-2014, 08:31 PM
 
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I hear you!! I too have cried all night, whispering "I am sorry" into DD sleeping ears. All of your feeling are familiar to me. I am sorry!

Do you know Aha Parenting? She is my LIFE RAFT!! Seriously! I try to read a bit from her website or newsletters every day.
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