My 3 year old son is a great kid. An amazing sense of humor and very, very verbal.
His default position when he dosen't get his way is to be pretty aggressive. He either says not nice things or to hurt people. He has become known as the problem child in preschool.
I see it happen and it is almost like he is having "testosterone explosions". I watch him and see that he has little control.
My middle son has Autism but is not aggressive. But, I am pretty schooled in positive behavioral techniques b/c of him. We have tried the positive (recognizing when he uses his words when angry, reward for making it through a day w/o hurting) and the negative (time outs, not getting a favorite snack). Nothing seems to be working.
He seems truly sorry after. (He will get mad at me. Bite me and immediately apologize.)
Sure, it could be a phase but the behavior is not acceptable to me and I hate that the other kids are shying away from him.