3 yo OBSESSED with boy across the street - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 06-03-2010, 11:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It is driving dh and I nuts. Like, I want to sell my house or build a 12 foot wall in front of it!

My dd is very verbal, and highly social, but this behavior seems so inappropriate for her age. She just turned 3 a week ago! We don't encourage or even acknowledge "boy craziness" talk about boyfriends, etc. that I hear other parents jokingly refer to. She watches very little TV, and only age-appropriate channels like Sprout, so I don't think she's imitating.

She just constantly wants to hang out the front window and wave and talk to this boy (who's 8, with 4 brothers.... often several are outside playing but she only talks to him) His mom and I joke about it (he is a good looking kid, and older girls from up the street constantly come over to bug him too), and his mom is very nice... the kid is nice, and will wave but then try to ignore dd. We'll go over every now and again so she can play with the younger brothers, who are closer to her age, but she mostly ignores them to try and get his attention (she actually threw herself on the floor one time, acting like she tripped, and asked him to help her get up ) She talks about him in the car, if she is doing something else and she hears their front door slam, she'll drop it and beg to be let out in front, or have us open the front window. It just all seems so weird to me! How can I discourage or distract? They live right across the street. I don't know what to do!! 12 foot fence anyone?

Mom to Delia  (5/25/07) and Alex  (4/10/10) and 2 spoiled kitties
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#2 of 7 Old 06-04-2010, 01:51 AM
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She probably just wants to play with someone and she thinks he's nice. she could be very attached to a little girl or an adult neighbor. Last year when my my DD was 3 she was very fond of a 5 year old neighbor boy and our next door neighbor lady.
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#3 of 7 Old 06-04-2010, 08:28 AM
 
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I'm sure it is much cuter to read about than actually live with--but I would not read anything into it beyond typical preschool obsessions. It might have been anything, even a dog or cat across the street, that caught her interest. Little kids often fixate on bigger kids like this. And even little kids can have rather complex and intense feelings. I think that is natural, and not a sign that she was corrupted by t.v. or influenced to feel this way.

I would handle it nonchalantly--if it is actually time for a playdate across the street, great. But if it is not time, then it isn't, and I would redirect her to whatever she was supposed to be doing--eating dinner, getting ready for bed, whatever. Validate her feelings ("Yes, I see Tommy out there too, honey. Tommy is a very nice boy"), but then refocus on what is going on at you house. You can't let her run out the door every time the neighbor's are out. Set up times she can see them, and then redirect her when it is not time to see them.

Mother is the word for God on the hearts and lips of all little children--William Makepeace Thackeray
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#4 of 7 Old 06-04-2010, 08:59 AM
 
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There is also something about three year olds, they seem to always want to play with the oldest kid around. I don't know why, but my daughter was like that. ALWAYS interested in other kids, but if there was an age range, she was most interested in the very oldest one.
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#5 of 7 Old 06-04-2010, 11:42 AM
 
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OK... first.. I'm having a hard time thinking this isn't the cutest thing. I don't live with it, so I think it's adorable. Especially her throwing herself to the floor and being helpsess.

But, second... girls do have crushes when they are little. She can have a crush, and not be "boy crazy". She just has a crush. My daughter had the same crush on her gymnastics teacher when she was three. It was obvious to him, and he was sooooo nice about it.

I really liked her teacher. He was about 18, and so nice, smart, and cute. SO, I was happy that my daughter showed good taste. The other gymnastics teacher was a "pretty boy" who did exotic dancing on the side. She never had a crush on him.... so, I felt pretty good about her choices. All through childhood, she made good "crush" choices. But, by school age, she learned to control herself and not let it be known by everyone who she liked.

I feel a little bad for the 8 year old because he's probably going to get this from a lot of girls, but he seems to be handling it well.

I'd just ride this out with her... and remind her that she can't interrupt 8yr olds play, but she can watch him. It might be a long summer though.

Sorry I'm not very helpful.... I'm still amused.
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#6 of 7 Old 06-04-2010, 11:53 AM
 
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Sighhhh! Ahhh! Chemicals!

Sorry, I agree with nextcommercial. This is a crush.

Maybe worth having a little word with the young man (appologise for the phases she is going thru, no need to feel that he has to wave at the window the whole time he's out there, just hello and goodbye etc thank him for being so noce about it etc) but you'd best let this burn itself out.

nice

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#7 of 7 Old 06-04-2010, 05:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I do find it amusing. I know his mother thinks it's cute too, and she's a good sport about all the attention her son gets. The falling on the floor incident did make me laugh out loud. It's just the constant nature of it that can get annoying. I'm sure you're right, it is just a crush. A cute, childhood thing. She loves older kids (her cousins are college and high school aged, and all came to her 3 year old birthday party... she was in heaven!) Every night before bed I give her a kiss from mommy, one for daddy, one for the baby brother, gramma, grandpa, etc... and she always insists on a kiss for each of these cousins, their friends, who she sees too sometimes, and this little boy across the street. I think she is just a big kid at heart (which breaks my heart... at the same time it is soo cute!)

I was just wondering about distraction techniques, but you're right, this is just a cute childhood crush and she will regulate herself better in the future. (heaven help us in a few years though with 5 good lookin boys across the street... I WILL need a 12 foot fence! lol) I know dh fondly remembers a preschool crush on a little girl down the street from him... He even asked her to marry him. Lucky for me, she said no .

Mom to Delia  (5/25/07) and Alex  (4/10/10) and 2 spoiled kitties
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