My first attempt at GD...did I do this right? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 06-11-2010, 06:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD just turned 1 year, and this week has started hitting me when nursing or just while I am holding her. She also threw a headbutt in there today. I thought, from reading these boards and several books, that the best response would be to take her hand and demonstrate how to use a gentle touch. So I did. And she started laughing. And hit me again. I asked her to please not hit mommy - same response. Laughing, more hitting. So, I set her down. And she happily went on her way to play.

So - did she get anything out of that? I know it's something that will have to be repeated over and over (...and over and over...) before we actually get anywhere, but I'm wondering if I even went about it the right way.

Sorry if this seems like an odd question. This is my first child, she is quickly transitioning into toddlerhood, and I'm running to keep up! The learning curve feels strikingly similar to those first few weeks when she was a newborn!

WAHM to Ladybug (13 months) and Bumblebee
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#2 of 5 Old 06-11-2010, 06:22 PM
 
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Man, I do the exact same thing with my 15 month old.. same scenario EXACTLY... except she doesn't run off and play at the end.. she screams and cries and hits me MORE if I put her down... pick her back up and the hitting and laughing starts all over again.
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#3 of 5 Old 06-11-2010, 06:42 PM
 
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When you put her down did you say why? Since you didn't mention it in you post I'm wondering. Something simple like "I can't nurse while you hit me so I have to put you down for now." Not as punishment, but more of an explanation of what happens when she hits you while nursing.

Other then that, it seemed fine. It will take time, but she will learn that hitting mommy is not a good thing.

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#4 of 5 Old 06-11-2010, 06:43 PM
 
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You did exactly what I would have done. My LO is now 19 months and doesn't seem to know his own strength, in a way. Mostly he "hits" me (more like a strong pat on the cheek, really) when he's excited and playing. If he gets too rough, I just give the mad/sad face and say "No, no, I don't like it" and then help him touch me softly and gently and make a really happy face and say "oh, I like your gentle touches". He's gotten over the laughing at me and mostly doesn't hit me anymore, and he can even catch himself sometimes and he'll stroke my face and say "nice". I think what you did is spot on. It takes a really really long time sometimes for them to really understand that what they're doing is causing you discomfort.

I would also look for the underlying cause of her hitting. Is she doing it when she's frustrated? excited? bored? A lot of times looking at why they're doing it helps you know how to react.
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#5 of 5 Old 06-11-2010, 08:15 PM
 
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Sounds great to me! Just remember that it takes a lot of repetition for kids this age to get it. You modeled what you wanted, you linked it with a word, and you put her down when she continued to hurt you.

When dd was nursing and teething, I'd say 'ouch that hurts' when she started to bite, and then unlatch her for a few minutes if she continued. After a couple of weeks, she began to get the 'look' like she wanted to bite, and then she would start to shake her head. Adorable (but still painful for me). It took a lot of repetition.

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