Question on a neighbor who I believe uses spanking out of frustration - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 06-24-2010, 02:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The people who are supposed to help protect kids are worthless even when you continusly report things nothing ever happens .

Two little boys plus one special need kid who has brain damage is continously getting spanked for everything that drives the mom batty .

The two little boys will get spanked if they pee their pants, if they have a tantrum they will get spanked ,one little boy who fell down hurt & scraped up his knees he was crying & whining about his knee but his mom was on the phone so when he wasn't getting paid attention too about how he needed a bandaid on his knee he kept whining then started crying you knw what his mom did she spanked him and told him to knock it off . Then he goes my knee hurts . Even if the special needs kid takes something after the mom told her no not to do that she will get spanked also. That girl doesn't even know what she's doing she's brain damaged .

This mom has her 2 3 yr old kids running arund outside by themselves while she tries to keep the dog and her special need kid inside . They nearly get themselves ran over by running close to the street . When other adults try to also help get them one of the just stays still doesn't want to go and that poor boy who has to go use the potty won't even do it but he will know if he wets his pants he will get a spanking from his mom .

Then he laughs that spanking right off saying mommy whacks my weenie .

He even calls butt A** and I'm like geez louise a 3 yr old having that kind of bad language is bad

Their mom say her boys are naughty and that all boys are naughty .

I'm like wishing I could do something but i can't tell her i disrespect her parenting skils she's not the type you want someone to be angry with .

plus when i try to call and share in information about abuse but like i said the don't care because it obvious don't change anything because the kids are still with that family .

i feel so bad for those 2 boys one boy is very quiet and with drawn as in really shy . The other boy as more time goes on he gets rebellious and more defiant with his mom so if she continues to spank tht boy he's going to be quite a rebellious teenager . That other boy may have trouble with school, talking and making friends because he's afraid to get into trouble many times.

Many times I think those boys are good kids.
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#2 of 7 Old 06-24-2010, 02:14 AM
 
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Sounds like spanking is just the tip of the iceberg
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#3 of 7 Old 06-24-2010, 02:31 AM
 
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This may not be practical, but maybe you could spend time with her kids for her(really, for them) it sounds like she is frustrated, overwhelmed, and doesn't understand her role as a parent. It is something she needs to learn.

Most likely the kids will not be taken away from the family. If you want to help, maybe help the kids directly even if it is only a one time thing. Do something to help them feel love and acceptance. It is amazing how well a child can remember a single incident which impacted them.

Tell them something positive about themselves. Something to counteract them being told they are naughty all the time. Even if all you said was "you are such a nice young boy. I like you.' That will go far in the heart of a child. They will remember the person who believed in them.

It is unfortunate the number of "detachment" parents out there...
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#4 of 7 Old 06-24-2010, 09:18 AM
 
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This post makes my heart hurt. Of course they are good boys. I'd call children services again and work your way up the chain of command. Get the police involved if you have to. I wish someone had done that for me as a child. My childhood may have been different.

Walking to raise money for Apraxia - feel free to join me if you are in the area or donate http://www.apraxia-kids.org/southjerseywalk/juliefoxx
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#5 of 7 Old 06-24-2010, 03:12 PM
 
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Spanking is legal there's nothing Social Services can do unless there is other abuse involved (which if there is then of course you should report it) Honestly she just sounds like a very overwhelmed mama and I would just try to show her and her kids some love.

Christian SAHM & birth doula.
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#6 of 7 Old 06-25-2010, 10:40 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebeingamomma View Post
Honestly she just sounds like a very overwhelmed mama and I would just try to show her and her kids some love.
I agree. As a SN mama, I'm sure there have been time when people thought all kinds of shit about me when I really could have used a kind word or a helping hand. (Not to compare myself to the mama in the post- I have worked long and hard to learn GD.)

Laura, mama to J (15), N (12), E (9) , M (6), and our little caboose, R (3).
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#7 of 7 Old 06-26-2010, 12:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebeingamomma View Post
Spanking is legal there's nothing Social Services can do unless there is other abuse involved (which if there is then of course you should report it) Honestly she just sounds like a very overwhelmed mama and I would just try to show her and her kids some love.
I agree with most of this, however I suggest having less to do with them so her negativity doesn't start to affect you and you don't get consumed with worry and stress about a situation that you can't change. I think you can get in a lot of legal trouble for calling and making false reports too, that may be something that is different in your state, so I suggest being careful about calling in abuse when what is going on is considered legal. I doubt you will have any credibility with them if you do continue to call about something that isn't considered abuse.
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