Pooping in her underwear. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 07-16-2010, 07:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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AHH!

Idk how long I can take this. DD is 2.5 and recently potty trained (overnight, it seemed). She will pee in the potty, but always ALWAYS poops in her underwear.

I feel like I just want to fly off the handle every time she does this- I don't even know how to handle it

She gets constipated so it takes her awhile to poop. I don't get why she doesn't run mid-poop to the bathroom. Sheesh

WWYD?

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#2 of 18 Old 07-16-2010, 07:37 PM
 
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Pooping seems to take longer to get for a lot of kids. I understand your frustration with your 2 yo, because I have the same problem sometimes with my 5 yo. Well, and my 3 yo, but he is my youngest so it seems more age appropriate. My 5 yo has some sensory and other issues, so I know this isn't typical 5 yo behavior. My older two kids didn't have this issue - when they started peeing in the toilet, they also pooped in it.

Do you know when she is likely to go each day? If possible, I would encourage sitting on the potty, or if she resists, will she wear a diaper or pull-up when she has too poop? I dunno, as much as I want them to always poop in the toilet, I much prefer to clean up poop in a diaper or pull-up with rip-off sides, than underwear. ugh.

Also, maybe this isn't part of why your DD goes in her pants, but sometimes there are dietary or health reasons involved. Like, even if they are somewhat constipated, they can't control it very well once it starts coming out - so they don't realize it until it's too late, even if they want to use the toilet.

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#3 of 18 Old 07-16-2010, 07:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She's not at all regular

She also has some sensory issues (no official diagnosis) but I'm not sure how or if they play a roll in this.

It might be the health aspect of it- she's always been horribly constipated and even taking an adult dose of fiber hasn't been working.. so we're off to the doctor again next month to figure it out.

Thanks though. Good to hear I'm not alone.

I get so agitated by it- I can't even explain it. I'm stressed out beyond belief with other aspects of life and the poopy underwear is just the cherry on the cake

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#4 of 18 Old 07-16-2010, 09:17 PM
 
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2.5 is still pretty young,, and her already having issues with pooping is only going to make the whole thing more stressful for her,she likely realizes that you are agitated by the whole thing as well so thats adding yet another stressor for you BOTH. I'd back off the expectation that she use the potty to poo. If she is constipated you probably know what her poo cues are,I'd casually get out a diaper call her over and put it on.Remember you cannnot control this,remind yourself gentlely that this too shall pass!
We have no battery operated toys and bribed DD that she could get anyone she wanted at Target if/when she first pooped on the potty,it worked great, she never had an accident once she was in undies, which was the very next day after the poo.She was incredably articulate at 2 though and we'd never bribed her before so it was a novel and one time experience.

Flax oil is GREAT for constipation.

Good Luck! This will hopefully get easier for you soon.
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#5 of 18 Old 07-16-2010, 09:21 PM
 
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i do feel for you, it can be so frustrating. she is a little young to fully get the whole potty thing, maybe she is afraid of letting loose in the back end of things, kwim?

constipation probably isnt helping either, i hope her doctor will have some good advice for you

and hopefully some good kind words for her too, poor thing. i hope she doesnt feel embarassed or shamed by these happenings... they are so common. even if you arent shaming her, which i assume that you arent, considering you are here in gentle discipline it is still an embarassing thing to happen when you alreqady have the peeing down and the poopin just wont co-operate

if it helps any, my ds wasnt fully trained until he was nearly four and a half and even then most of the timei had to either wipe or check his wiping...
all i can say is no one goes to college in diapers and she wont either, you arent alone... and your dd isnt in any way out of the ordinary when it comes to pottying issues

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#6 of 18 Old 07-16-2010, 11:04 PM
 
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I know it's frustrating but poop seems to take a lot longer as far as potty-learning goes. DD could pee in the potty consistently a lot sooner than pooping, and a lot of times she would rather go in her pants. At 3 years, 3 months she is finally pooping in the potty. One thing that helped us was a reward system. I know not everyone agrees with this but it worked wonders for us.

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#7 of 18 Old 07-16-2010, 11:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone No, not flaming her, just wanted to come here to GD for some support. I don't want to totally flip out on her. It's not her fault, she's 2. I just have to keep thinking that in my head. I'm under so much stress and I really don't want to end up yelling at her

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#8 of 18 Old 07-16-2010, 11:45 PM
 
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#9 of 18 Old 07-17-2010, 12:04 AM
 
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dd1 was peeing on her potty for a few weeks before the pooping happened. then for about a week or so after that, there were some accidents mixed in with successes. all in, i think it took her 6 weeks longer to get the pooping down completely.

i also did a reward thing...not always popular, but i know my dd. she is VERY verbal & the things she likes, she LIKES & talks about etc. so for her, a sticker reward for a few days really made a difference. she was so proud of herself when she got a new sticker. (i did big stickers like the ones they give out at the drs/dentist)

the worst part about it is trying to clean it up with underwear. i ended up deciding to just chuck them all & not try & save them. but just getting them off was the challenge...we ended up cutting MANY pairs of undies off with scissors.

my mom warned me/reminded me about not making her feel bad about it & i really tried. but yeah...a few times i slipped up & said the wrong things or showed my frustration too much. yet here we are, survivors of potty training & she doesn't seem any worse for wear...so i think i managed to not ruin my toddler this round

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#10 of 18 Old 07-17-2010, 12:08 AM
 
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I'd just put her in diapers. My dd was the opposite - she'd poop in the potty for AGES before she'd consistently make it there on time to pee. Which is better than dealing with poop, but it was hard when I was starting to think of her as potty trained. And you've got constipation issues on top of what really is a normal toddler issue. It's just too much for you or her.
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#11 of 18 Old 07-17-2010, 12:44 AM
 
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another vote for just put her in diapers (if she is fine with it of course!) my niece had this same issue. my dd is a strange cookie, she has always had no problems with #2 but pee took forever to get her going to the pot for all of them. i finally just quit asking/being bothered and it is soooooo hard. i just hand her a towel (harder with #2 i know b/c they cant easily clean themselves up). she is 90% trained so hopefully we can get it figured out with time

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#12 of 18 Old 07-17-2010, 01:01 AM
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We got _Everyone Poops_ out of the library and read it many, many times (after the initial introduction, dd found it fascinating).

The other thing that seemed to help was eating a lot of fruit. DD had been peeing in the potty when reminded, but couldn't make the connection for poop until the peaches and blueberries came in. My guess is that pooping on the potty is a hard thing to figure out when you only poop every other day, but pooping a couple times in one day gives you some extra opportunities to sort it out.

Meanwhile, hang in there! Cleaning up is no fun. Using diapers and pull-ups to save your floors and your sanity can really be the best thing.
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#13 of 18 Old 07-17-2010, 03:48 AM
 
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My kids were able to tell when they needed to poop and would ask for a diaper just for pooping. Would that work for your dd? It was easier with ds, I'll say, because he was quite regular. But even my irregular dd managed it most of the time.

After a number of months, we were then able to slowly wean them from the diaper.

She probably does this because it's easier to poop standing up than on the potty.

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#14 of 18 Old 07-18-2010, 09:43 AM
 
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Yes, I second the pooping standing up. DS needs to lean on something, so when I put his potty in front of his step stool in the bathroom and showed him he could put his arms on it and lean he's been more succesful. When he's a bit constipated he finds it more difficult to get to his potty in time. And when he's going through a growth spurt, he seems more distracted and we had some tiny pee accidents. He potty learned himself 2 weeks before his 2nd birthday, so about 6 weeks ago. He's still learning, but has had very very few accidents so far.
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#15 of 18 Old 07-18-2010, 03:40 PM
 
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I think that the constipation may be a huge part of it. Not to be too graphic but she might not be able to feel the sensations of having to go well. Glad you are working with your ped, may even want to try a ped GI, chronic constipation can cause nerve damage and permanently stretch out the colon. Sometimes it's not just fiber, it can have so many factors, hydration, motility. I think once that is sorted out, and when she is a bit older that the pooping in the potty will resolve. In the meantime I'd try to put a diaper on when you think she is going to go, and encourage her to ask you for one if she needs it. Good luck, poop is a huge trigger for me too.
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#16 of 18 Old 07-18-2010, 09:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WindyCityMom View Post
AHH!


She gets constipated so it takes her awhile to poop. I don't get why she doesn't run mid-poop to the bathroom. Sheesh

WWYD?
I would go for frequent reminders to go try the potty, like once an hour or so, either a check-in question, or a statement that it's time to go give it a shot. I think 2.5 is old enough to notice elimination, but not always old enough to have the impulse control/wherewithal to take oneself to the potty in a timely manner.

Does she have any signals that a poop is on its way? Look for those, and if you see her doing the poop dance or whatever, hustle her into the bathroom. If she's just coming to you after the fact, just be as calm as you can (I had to pass all poop accidents on to DH for about 6 months because it was such a trigger for me that unless I had to deal, I didn't want to). Is there something special you can do with her when she's on the potty to make it more pleasant to go hang out there poop? Songs, candles, incense, special toy or books you can play with/read to pass the time?

I would also suggest having her squat, not stand, and not sit - squatting is the best physiological position for pooping and avoiding constipation. In a full squat, the thighs give the colon a bit of a massage and help relax the sphincter muscles. Yet one more thing that Western culture gets wrong that does girls and women especially a disservice.

From wikipedia:
Proponents of squat toilets argue that:
* Squatting makes elimination faster, easier and more complete.[5]
* Elimination in squatting posture protects the nerves that control the prostate, bladder and uterus from becoming stretched and damaged.[6]
* Squatting relaxes the puborectalis muscle which normally chokes the rectum in order to maintain continence.[7]
* Squatting securely seals the ileocecal valve, between the colon and the small intestine. In the conventional sitting position, this valve is unsupported and often leaks during evacuation.[8]
* For pregnant women, squatting avoids pressure on the uterus when using the toilet. Daily squatting helps prepare the mother-to-be for a more natural delivery.[9]
* Squatting may reduce the occurrence or severity of hemorrhoids[1][10] and possibly other colorectal disorders such as diverticulosis[11] and appendicitis.[12]

I'd also try to keep her on as much of a whole foods, high fiber, high water content diet as possible, and explore if there are any reasons that she might not want to poop - fear, anxiety, control, anything you can do to back off or be more supportive?

That's a long list of stuff I would do.

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#17 of 18 Old 07-19-2010, 01:23 AM
 
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kcparker,

I'm so glad you mentioned the points on squatting! I completely agree that it makes so much more sense. My big question, though, is how do you get a toddler to squat and maintain balance over toilets or pottys? They're just not designed for that.
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#18 of 18 Old 07-19-2010, 02:54 AM
 
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You might have to get a little creative with putting down a TP or other flushable target and having her squat and poo on a flat surface (thrift store turkey pan or large cookie sheet might be good), then dump it. If she's on the floor, the balance won't be an issue. If you wanted to go all-out for the whole family (which in our bathroom would not work because it's soooo small), there is this solution, which you could make in an afternoon if you are handy and have the tools, or you could shell out for one and not have the hassle of making it yourself. Can you imagine though, explaining it to relatives and friends who come over? I feel like we are the weird hippies enough as it is without giving mini-lectures on colon health and sphincter release mechanisms.

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