1.5 year old and violent temper tantrums - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-27-2010, 03:24 PM - Thread Starter
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My 17 month old has been having some very violent tantrums lately, and im not really sure how I should be handling it. Whe she gets frustrated, she hits, scratches, bites and squeezes me, her sitter, dad, and anyone else in her path. She also does this to herself. Sometimes she starts banging her head into the wall.

when shes had enough of the sitter (i work at home, the sitter keeps her busy while i work, but they are never far from me). She will run after her trying to hurt her.

This is what I’ve been doing: I ask her to be gentle. I tell her that it hurts mama (or whoever else), and makes me sad. I show her the wound, and she usually says ”booboo” and kisses it. But she will be right back at it the next time she gets mad.

When shes pulls and squeezes at her self (usually her face and eyes), I have no idea what to do, I just ask her to be gentle.

What should I be doing? Is this normal? Are there any good books that deal with this sort of thing?

Thank you for any insight!
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#2 of 3 Old 07-27-2010, 03:43 PM
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I think it is in the spectrum of normal but intense. DD was a headbanger and she never held back, I kept thinking we were going to land in the ER at some point.

Biting and hitting, the best way is to catch it before she starts and redirect her to a more appropriate action. Depending on how much she telegraphs before she loses it, this can be easy or hard.

Sign language may be helpful, it sounds like she's really frustrated. Maybe there's an unmet need or something she wants but can't communicate?

Headbanging, just try to cushion her and avoid injury. She will grow out of this. DD only head bangs now if she's super mad which is rare.

And if she's had enough of the sitter, maybe she needs a break in her crib for a bit with her lovey? Sounds like she needs a new activity or some down time. I would have something exciting lined up every day so when she gets like this you can say 'let's go play with playdough, water paint etc...' Something good that she can't pass up.

Be sure to name her emotions and give her a voice. You are mad because of xyz. You want abc. Do you need a hug? I'm sorry you're mad, how about we do such and such thing. A lot of times this provides immediate relief of a tantrum at that age.


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#3 of 3 Old 07-27-2010, 08:29 PM
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My 19 mo is the same way. Well, he doesn't bang his head, but he scratches and hits and stomps his feet. I'll be watching this thread for suggestions. I've been trapping his arm and telling him to be gentle or we don't hit and trying to give him words for his emotions- you're frustrated because you want the marker, but jonas was using it, how about this instead? I guess I don't really expect that it will stop until he's older.

~helen~ mama to 5 yo twins jonas and micah and my 2 yo baby boy eli
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