But the last week has been hell on earth. Everything is a battle. Getting dressed. The potty. Nap time. Bed time. Cleaning up. Eating food (I want butter! No I don't want butter! Yes I WANT BUTTER!!!!). You name it, we've had a battle over it.
And it's so my fault. I have no patience left. I'm physically exhausted. I need to walk her to the playground/family place/grocery store etc. in the mornings so she can get out and play. We'd both go crazy if we stayed home. But getting there and back tires me out for the rest of the day.
I don't have the energy for gentle discipline. I literally cannot think of alternatives to "Lie down now and go to sleep" or "You're not coming out of the bathroom until you use the potty." Let me tell you, it's not very effective.
As soon as my husband's brother and family leave (a whole other issue -- sharing a two bedroom apartment with another family of three who have to sleep in my toddler's bedroom) I'm calling the babysitter and taking a day or two off here and there. But I simply cannot afford to do that very often. Our families live far, far away.
Any advice? Sympathy? I hate that this transition to being a big sister is so hard my daughter. We're both so stressed out it's impossible to enjoy our last few weeks together. I hate being that yelling mom who sets up battle after battle because of lack of creativity.
im 38 weeks pregnant w/ a 16 month old who just started hitting today!
you're doing a great job, and soon your BILs family will leave and you will get a day to yourself ... hang in there!!
Coffee, Vintage and Kids. My Life.
, mama. This is really hard, and I don't even have houseguests. I can't imagine how exhausted you must be. Hang in there.
Loving wife and mama to my sweet little son (Fall 2008) and a beautiful baby girl (Fall 2010)
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw
What helps me when I'm exhausted is to train myself into acceptance and going with the flow. I have a little mantra, "this moment is as it is"--meaning I'm not there to change anything. This relaxes me almost instantly. It is as though I float on a cloud of patience . The problem is of course when I forget the mantra
I try to remember it's a development thing for her age, and try to just redirect to something else.
As with a PP said, I also pick and choose battles. If DD is really fighting nap, I'll play with her another half hour and try again. This sometimes works, sometimes doesn't... which means when it doesn't I have an ultra cranky toddler around dinner time... but this too passes somehow.
So that brings me to my mantra... this won't be forever. They are only tiny and in this phase for so long, this too shall pass. That accompanied with some deep breaths I'm usually able to readjust my tone and retackle the particular challening obstacle.
Hang in there.
Proud Single Mama, Birth & Postpartum Doula
Student, Aspiring CNM
DD ~ 1/7/09 DS ~ 9/22/10
Also, just trust that things will change, and quickly.
I do know that you should take some time off, or make some tea and hide in your room for 5 minutes. It's recharging beyond belief.
AMS Trained Montessori Primary Teacher, M. Ed, and Homeschooler.....life is good!!!
3belles --TV has definitely been used -- and we are usually TV free household. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do
I just keep reminding myself that this can only last a few more weeks...
Reading Kids Parents and Power Struggles helped me a lot.
Your DD probably understands on some level that the baby's arrival is getting close.
Here's one analysis. She is probably scared and worried about that, and she also doesn't really know what to expect. From her perspective, everything is chaotic and uncertain and about to get even more chaotic and uncertain. Kids respond to stress and uncertainty by demanding control over every.little.thing and getting very.needy.
If you think that your DD is stressed out, then finding things to lower her stress level and stress hormones may help. Different things help different people. Depending on the person, these are some things that might help. 1) Physical activity 2) repetitive motion such as riding a rocking horse, 3) playing in warm water such as a bath or shower or washing dishes, 4) either more space or more snuggles depending on the personality...there are a lot more suggestions in the book....
I try to remind myself that this exhausted, grumpy, emotional, giant lady is not who I am all the time and that these months are not going to make up the entirety of my kids childhood memories. In fact, at such a young age, your dd may not remember it at all.
Just try to let the potty battles go, skip naps and let her go to bed early, resort to more goldfish snacks than usual for entertainment, whatever gets you through the day without meltdowns, for you or her.
Now my only problem is she wants to carried/held all the time right now. I think she senses baby will be here soon. I have no problem holding her but she wants me to be standing while doing it and I just can't do that for long.
SAHM to Codi 1/12/08, James 11/3/10 and Connor 4/10/13 with our own personal Superhero DH/daddy
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