I have read Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles, but maybe it's time to
read it again.
She just started pre-school last week, so it's still new, but apparently her refusal to obey is just far more consistent and thorough than what the other students are coming to school with.
I am going to have her evaluated by our school district's early intervention program. Hopefully they will check her hearing, as well as evaluate her in terms of social and emotional development. However, I am fairly certain that it's not her hearing, since she eavesdrops on DH and me when we talk quietly, and asks us to elaborate on points that are of particular interest to her.
I do try to get her attention by getting close to her and down on her level, but that's not always possible, especially since I have a newborn too. And it's definitely not possible for her teachers to do that for her every time.
Usually, I'm a natural-consequences type of parent, but what are the natural consequences for refusing to obey or even acknowledge requests? And DH and I have even considered taking things away as punishments, but she dislikes TV and movies and outings of all sorts. The only things she really likes are reading, artwork, nursing, and building with blocks. I can't justify taking any of these things away since they are all wholesome activities that she needs every day.