need help with 2yr old - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-15-2010, 11:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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my 4yr old even as a toddler has always been very good and a good listener

the problem is the 2yr old, he will always scream and cry of he doesnt get his way, he also hits, pinches, and bites, and if u tell him honey we dont play with that, he looks at u while still touching it, like what r u going to stop me, and i just tell him come here and lets play with this, and he goes no i want this.

so i try to remove him and get him to play with something else, and he screams hits, and goes back to the thing he shouldnt play with, which then i get upset and remove myself to calm down, and btw it will go on like this for about 2hrs

now we live in a 600 square foot condo 1 bedroom, and really no place to put him in time out, other then the bathroom, which i then make sure the light is on and i tell him when u r ready to listen and stop screaming we will talk, and i shut the door. after about 1 min i open the door and ask him if he is ready to stop, he will say noo go away and hit me, so i shut the door and he screams even more.

2 hrs later i finially get him to calm down enough to talk, i dont leave him in the bathroom that long, but after 5 mins and every 2 mins me opening the door to see if he wants to talk and calm down, which after 5 mins he usually will calm down.

but is there a better way to handle him, and time outs, he is very very very stubbron and never had to deal with this before ever, i dont know how to handle him, and my husbands says u know what we just need to spank him, which i hate to do that since he is already into hitting.

i just really need help, when the 2 yr old is mad and about to hit my 4 yr old runs to hide behind me screaming, momma he is mad again, help help, he is going to hit me, and my 4yr old as with myself has been bite too many times were we were bleeding.

we dont do the bite back thing, cause well my 4yr old tried that, after i told him not to and well my 2yr old laughed really hard and then bite him again drawling blood, and then my 4 yr old bite back, which u can see the pattern before i finially put them both in time out cause they both know we dont bite.

thanks for the advice

Amanda mom to Mahmoud 7-20-06, Kareem 8-23-08, and Baby #3 due May 19th 2011
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Old 09-16-2010, 02:55 AM
 
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I couldn't help but not respond. So sorry Mama, DS is about to be 2 and things are challenging. But they sound totally normal for this age. Actually, I would be worried if it wasn't.
When the weather allows it, my 2 year old is outside, running around with me, the dog and DS2 8 months old. With physical exertion there seem to be less behavor issues, better naps, easier bed times. Without that physical outlet days can be rough. I don't have much advise, I'm on the road myself...
Good luck!
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Old 09-16-2010, 03:53 AM
 
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This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes... "You can't solve a problem with the same thinking that created it". If you spank him then you only reinforce the idea that hitting is OK since kids learn through watching their parents and doing as they do.

I read a great book called Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves which really opened my eyes to many of the mistakes I was making and really helped me get a grip on myself first which was a big part of the problem to begin with.
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Old 09-16-2010, 12:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yes i really dont like to spank and really dont do that, but i will say a few times i lost it and didnt know what to do and did spank him then felt horrible

but that was a long time ago, i been just reminding myself i wouldnt want to be hit, so i shouldnt do that to him, so i have not been, just been using time outs. which dont work on him.

we do get out of the house alot and make sure he has plenty of play time, but he just gets into moods were he wants to do what he wants when he wants, and i know he is very independ and trying to find out who he is, so i been trying to just relax and let him do things even if i dont agree or want him to.

parenting is sooo frinking hard, i own that book, time for me to reread it.

Amanda mom to Mahmoud 7-20-06, Kareem 8-23-08, and Baby #3 due May 19th 2011
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