The biting needs to stop. NOW! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 09-27-2010, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We've been dealing w this for months now. I know hes only 12 mos, but i need it to stop. I have ZERO patience left for it. He bit me out of the blue today while we were eating lunch- he just leaned over and took a chunk out of my upper arm, left a bruise. It took every ounce of control i had not to smack him.

Someone must have a solution that works. He'll happily chew on his chewies, but he wont get them out on his own, and when he starts biting there's rarely warning. I'm just at the end of my rope w this.

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#2 of 6 Old 09-27-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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Hi there. I can totally relate to the frustrations when your LO bites you. Our son is 20 months old and he tends to bite me when he gets overly excited. He also bites me when breastfeeding and is now starting to hit and scratch at times. I know it's him testing out what other things his hands and limbs can do but it is definitely taking its toll.

What I normally do when he hits/bites,etc - I say "Biting hurts. Let's be gentle". And then I also say, "When I hurt someone, I like to say I'm sorry" and then since he also knows sign language I do the ASL sign for "sorry".

When he gets excited and bites my neck, I also remind him that instead of biting when we get excited, we can shake our hands and arms to release the excitement. We can also find our soft toys and bite on those instead of biting on people or animals.

I was reading another post about gentle guidance where the DD spits on others. One of the moms suggested to say "Spitting is not acceptable" and taking them away from the other person. Then saying what DD could do and suggested making it a game to spit in the tub or how far you could spit in the backyard vs. spitting on someone.

I thought of this and now am going to use that for also when my DS hits. Instead of hitting people, we can hit the drum (since he loves playing drums)...

these are just some suggestions...hope it helps... ;o)

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#3 of 6 Old 09-28-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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My DS was a biter at that age too. He also had a spell of biting around 9 to 10 months and again around 14 months. I looked like I was being abused - my arms were covered in bruises. Nothing I did made him stop. It was as simple as , he had the impulse to bite and not the impulse control to stop it.

In hind sight, I can roughly match up major teething times with the biting spells. I really think that started it, however, as I say that, 18 month old DS has started up again. More teeth? or has he learned that it gets my attention to bite me? I think maybe both. He will walk up to my leg while I'm cooking or changing clothes and chomp my leg. Now, at 18 months when he puts his face against my leg or arm and I see him open up to chomp down, a stern "don't bite me. No teeth, kisses only" will curb the behavior. At 12 months, really nothing worked.

Not reacting is probably the best way to keep it from becoming an attention getting habit, but that is really hard to do - those tiny teeth HURT!!

Sorry no good advice, but hopefully it will be short lived.

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#4 of 6 Old 09-29-2010, 04:33 PM
 
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My ds used to bite, and we used a couple techniques to stop it.

1st - whenever he bit anyone he got put down. Once he was more mobile, he got put down in his pack n play or stroller (if we were out and about). I always told him, "I love you, but teeth are not for biting and I can't hold you when you bite me."

2nd - I bought the book "Teeth are not for biting" by elizabeth verdick and I read it to him. We would read it when there was no biting going on, and then after he bit me we would read it again. That seemed to help.

Good luck! I hated the biting phase!!
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#5 of 6 Old 09-30-2010, 02:57 AM
 
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my third and last baby (almost 2) has been our one and only biter. It IS so frustrating and I understand what you mean when you say that you have to use all your control not to become physical with them. Sometimes I have demanded that my husband take her out of my arms/off my lap because I get so angry I don't even want to put my hands on her.

But....you have got to figure out something you can do when this happens because it most likely is not going to stop NOW and will be something you will have to continue to address. Maybe you can have an image that you focus on when this happens....nurturing arms, a wavering tree....something that works for you.

Also, we gave our girl homeopathic belladonna 30c as biting was her big thing compounded with teething. It did help although biting has been a way for her to fight back on her older silblings also but things are getting better now.
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#6 of 6 Old 09-30-2010, 09:49 AM
 
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For us, it was a sensory issue. All children, special needs or not, are sensory seekers. At your child's age, he's seeking sensory input. Vibrating teethers are very helpful to satisfy the need to chop down on something. When my son would bite me I'd yelp like a dog, tell him he hurt me, put him down and give him a teether and tell him this is what we bite.

I also love "Teeth are not for biting" as well. Great book (as is the rest of the series - hands are not for hiting, feet are not for kicking etc).

Older biters are usually biting out of frustration. You need to teach your children different ways of handling frustration. I found sign language helped to alleviate a lot of verbal frustrations.

Good luck and just remember, your child won't go to college and bite his friends. It's a phase. A painful one but a phase nonetheless.

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