if you had to choose one book? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 12:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Which one would it be? I am ordering some books online and would like to order a parenting one while i'm at it. I'm sure this question comes up a lot in this forum but I couldn't really make a decision even after searching.

Basically I have no idea what i'm doing with my 2.5 yo. I let so many things go because I don't know how to deal with the situation and can't seem to be consistent with him. I literally have no idea what to to so I end up bribing, threatening and yelling. I hate feeling like I spend so much time getting my son in trouble and wish things could be a little more peaceful

Jamie, busy Mama to my sweet little O Man, loving wife to Brian, and very excited about our new addition, the J Man, here after ourh20homebirth.gif
                                                   Unexpectedly expecting a new little one in November!!!belly.gif
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#2 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 06:07 AM
 
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I really like Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld. It isn't a discipline book exactly, but I think it's a book every parent should read. It really drives home the importance of the attachment relationship, and how a lot of things will fall into place on their own when parents are truly connected with their kids.

Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen is another great book.

Julie - Mom to Elizabeth (Libby) age 6, Penelope (Penny) age 5, Elliott age 29 months, and Oscar who is 1 year old!
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#3 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 08:45 AM
 
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in your case i would 'borrow' Your 2 year old

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Two-Year-.../dp/0440506387

the best series evah!! goes upto age 12. old book. ignore discipline advice. but the BEST to explain why your child is doing what.

if you still need a book after that to help you with discipline then, get playful parenting.

Julie however made a huge HUGE point. a lot of things will fall into place on their own when parents are truly connected with their kids

what the YOUR 2 YEAR OLD did to me was make me understand what my dd was going thru, and therefore helped me have compassion instead of frustration when she was tantruming. in fact sometimes it was downright funny when she was down on the road kicking her legs and screaming to high heavens.

if you use the library though i would use them. there was no parenting book i was ever urged to buy.

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#4 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 09:01 AM
 
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My favs for the issues you mention--

For toddler/preschool age: [IPlayful Parenting

For older kids: How to talk so kids will listen & Listen so kids will talk

The strategies in those 2 books helped a lot in day-to-day working and living together peacefully.

For a general parenting concept, my fav book is Kids are Worth it!, but is geared more toward bigger kids, imo.
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#5 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 12:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by meemee View Post
if you use the library though i would use them. there was no parenting book i was ever urged to buy.
:that

seriously. I take things from several books and approaches and use what works for my kids at that particular time. If I actually bought the books, I'd be broke.
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#6 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 01:37 PM
 
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#7 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 03:55 PM
 
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Positive Discipline for Preschoolers

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#8 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 04:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChetMC View Post
I really like Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld. It isn't a discipline book exactly, but I think it's a book every parent should read. It really drives home the importance of the attachment relationship, and how a lot of things will fall into place on their own when parents are truly connected with their kids.
I second that recommendation, I've read a lot books about attachment parenting but this one was a missing piece that helped me understand the importance of AP.

Joanna WAHM to DS 10/2007
You must be the change you wish to see - Ghandi
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#9 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 06:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
Positive Discipline for Preschoolers

Ohmygosh! I had that one in 1979. I hope they've rewritten it a bit, but it was AWESOME back then! I had that book forever when I was teaching.
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#10 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 08:08 PM
 
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For a new-ish mama I really love "Becoming the Parent You Want to Be" for the all around best book I LOVE "Unconditional Parenting".

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#11 of 18 Old 10-02-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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Practical Books (in order of preference):
Parenting with Purpose by Lynda Madison (it's out of print, but can be gotten used). It focuses on ages 1-4.
Becoming the Parent You Want to Be -- it pretty specific about ideas
Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen -- there are several, pick the one that's most appropriate for your child's age.

I like Unconditional Parenting and Hold Onto Your Kids, but I don't find them terribly practical. If you're looking for a "he just colored on the couch what do"I do kind of book, that's not where I would start. I'd read those later.

For 4 and up, I'd choose:
Playful Parenting (my all time favorite book, but 2 1/2 is too young yet)
How To Talk So Your Children Will Listen

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#12 of 18 Old 10-03-2010, 12:10 AM
 
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I've recommended Hold on to your kids earlier but if you are looking for more practical book I highly recommend Simplicity Parenting, it talks about importance of rhythm and predictability in children's life, which I found very helpful in solving many issues without any 'discipline', some issues can be resolved simply by changing children's environment and making their lives more predictable.

Joanna WAHM to DS 10/2007
You must be the change you wish to see - Ghandi
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#13 of 18 Old 10-03-2010, 01:59 AM
 
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The Secret of Parenting!!! OMG, everyone on this thread, seriously, this book ROCKS!!! It's SO applicable and has really made it so that I can raise my kids without punishment or bribes, AND have them do what I ask them to do
HIGHLY recommend it. I also really like hold on to your kids as well.

mama to dd (4-15-06) and
ds (2-23-09)
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#14 of 18 Old 10-03-2010, 10:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so so much everyone! I really appreciate all the responses. I will read through and choose on to order today.


Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
in your case i would 'borrow' Your 2 year old

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Two-Year-.../dp/0440506387

the best series evah!! goes upto age 12. old book. ignore discipline advice. but the BEST to explain why your child is doing what.

if you still need a book after that to help you with discipline then, get playful parenting.

Julie however made a huge HUGE point. a lot of things will fall into place on their own when parents are truly connected with their kids

what the YOUR 2 YEAR OLD did to me was make me understand what my dd was going thru, and therefore helped me have compassion instead of frustration when she was tantruming. in fact sometimes it was downright funny when she was down on the road kicking her legs and screaming to high heavens.

if you use the library though i would use them. there was no parenting book i was ever urged to buy.


Quote:
Originally Posted by 2lilsweetfoxes View Post
:that

seriously. I take things from several books and approaches and use what works for my kids at that particular time. If I actually bought the books, I'd be broke.
I do plan on borrowing some boos but i've already looked through the book list and my library has NONE of them. They will take about 6 weeks through the interlibrary loan. Since I was already ordering from amazon anyway I figured I might as well get a book since I needed to add $12 to my order to qualify for free shipping that was $9.99. Just makes sense to me. I can read it while i'm waiting for the ones from the library

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enudely View Post
The Secret of Parenting!!! OMG, everyone on this thread, seriously, this book ROCKS!!! It's SO applicable and has really made it so that I can raise my kids without punishment or bribes, AND have them do what I ask them to do
HIGHLY recommend it. I also really like hold on to your kids as well.
I remember reading good things about this book on here before. I definitely need something that gives me ideas and examples. Just learning more about why attachment parenting and gentle discipline is important is only going to make me feel worse about the way I have been disciplining. Basically I need to learn what to do, not that what I HAVE been doing is wrong but not how to fix it.

Thanks again everyone.

Jamie, busy Mama to my sweet little O Man, loving wife to Brian, and very excited about our new addition, the J Man, here after ourh20homebirth.gif
                                                   Unexpectedly expecting a new little one in November!!!belly.gif
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#15 of 18 Old 10-03-2010, 11:12 AM
 
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Another good "what to do book" is Taking Children Seriously. I'll admit to it not being the ONE book I buy though because the writing is a bit dated. It's a good library book though.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#16 of 18 Old 10-03-2010, 06:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enudely View Post
The Secret of Parenting!!! OMG, everyone on this thread, seriously, this book ROCKS!!! It's SO applicable and has really made it so that I can raise my kids without punishment or bribes, AND have them do what I ask them to do
HIGHLY recommend it. I also really like hold on to your kids as well.
I'd forgotten about this one. You're right, it is good! OK, i'd list that 2nd. It's not as 'gentle' as some parents here like (there's more coercion that some parents here do), but it's good.

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#17 of 18 Old 10-03-2010, 08:01 PM
 
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I don't consider the Secret of Parenting really "coercian" . I love how it's techniques don't involve punishment or bribes.
I guess you do have to be of the school that kids need to listen to their parents and do what they ask. I believe this is true, but I don't believe in punishment (we don't even use "time outs") The book has changed our lives for the WAY better.

mama to dd (4-15-06) and
ds (2-23-09)
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#18 of 18 Old 10-03-2010, 08:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enudely View Post
The Secret of Parenting!!! OMG, everyone on this thread, seriously, this book ROCKS!!! It's SO applicable and has really made it so that I can raise my kids without punishment or bribes, AND have them do what I ask them to do
HIGHLY recommend it. I also really like hold on to your kids as well.
I second Secret of Parenting.

Also- The Nanny 911 book - I found alot of useful info in there.
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