Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southwestern Wisconsin
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ds went through an aggressive phase when he was around 2.5-just turned 3. whenever he would hurt another child, i would completely ignore ds and tend to the injured child. I'd say "oh no! are you ok? I saw ds hit you and that is not acceptable. I'm so sorry that happened to you! do you need a drink of water or an ice pack etc?" I'd then have ds help me get the water or ice or what have you.
Basically I tried to model the behavior I wanted my son to do when he saw someone hurt (even if he was the one who hurt them). I think all too often in these situations, the victim is ignored....or possibly gets a forced "sorry" and that's it.
When this would happen, ds would usually sulk and watch me care for the other child at first, but once I would ask him if he'd like to help me get water etc...he would happily do so and would say sorry to the child all on his own.
Now that we're past his aggressive stage, he's very empathetic and tends to hurt children right away.
I forgot to add that after the injured child was ok, I'd talk to ds about what happened and tell him he should use his words or whatever the situation called for next time.
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