I don't force please/thank you. I suggest it and dd chooses to use them about 95% of the time.
But I only use please/thank you with her (or any one else) about 95% of the times they would apply, and I find that I use them more than most other people.
I've also noticed that parents who don't use GD rarely use please/thank you naturally with their children. They demand demand demand and then randomly say please/thank you in a big fake I-am-modeling-good-behavior-now voice.
Training to act in accordance with rules is Dictionary.com's definition.
I have no problem with that one.
It's how we go about the teaching/training.
Discipline to me means doing my job to ensure the best success of my children's behavior possible for their age/ capabilities.
It doesn't mean punishment. Sometimes there are cause and effect consequences that come naturally or that I have to come up with.
As far as manners go..... that's a biggie. How we treat one another is the basis for being good people. That is what GD is all about, so I don't see how anyone can be seen as a hard ass for making sure there child knows how to be treated and treat others.
My DD had a very hard time making eye contact and saying thank you until she was almost 6. I would say it for her and she would look down. She could barely say "hello" to anyone and was constantly receiving compliments about her hair and eyes. When she went into Kindergarten I told her that she was going to see a lot of these people every day and if she just kept looking down, they might not understand how hard it is for her to talk, but that they might think she doesn't like them. Sure enough she began to muster up the courage to quietly and quickly have polite replies. Everyone wants to be liked and accepted. We have to teach and guide in a polite way ourselves or they will never get it.