Please tell me all toddlers scream this much. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 05-10-2011, 01:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I must have a very low tolerance for screeching and yelling and whining, because lately I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong with DS (21 mos.).  From the time we wake up until the time he falls asleep at night, it is almost constant screaming, demanding, and grunting.  One short month ago we could read books, play blocks, do errands all day with only minimal screaming and crying and throwing and frustration.  Whatever he's got in his hands (blocks, cup, toy, book) isn't as good as the thing across the room, and whatever activity we're doing is more painful and irritating than what he'd rather be doing (destroying a part of our landlady's property no doubt).

 

Is he not getting enough stimulation?  Is this a prelude to him breaking out into actual words and talking?  Am I crazy for feeling like I can't take the screaming anymore, while DH remains beatifically patient and loving?

 

I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that this behavior might be normal...my mom keeps telling me how sedate I was in comparison.


Still-learning wife to long-suffering and wonderful DH and manoula to DS #1 (8/09), an angel baby (7/10), and DD #1 due May 29!
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#2 of 12 Old 05-10-2011, 02:07 PM
 
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Does he have anything new in his diet?  When my DS was like this, it was right around the time he weaned himself and started having a diet with more dairy etc.  When we cut a few foods, everything changed for the better. 

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#3 of 12 Old 05-10-2011, 02:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I didn't think of his diet...Well, I guess the last few weeks have been pretty hectic...I'm 8 mos. preg. so I haven't been the most conscientious cook.  He may have had a little more sugar than usual what with Easter and the extra trips to grandma's house, so I will watch that more carefully.  I seem to recall my aunt and uncle telling us how my younger cousin is not allowed to have sugar because it "makes him do stupid things". 

 

On the other hand, ds also kind of eats like a bird even on good days.  He usually has a small portion of oatmeal or toast at bfast, some crackers and milk twice a day, MAYBE some bites of soup for lunch, and a few bites of whatever I made for dinner.  He loves carbs, but I try to limit the crackers and bread so I can offer him real food.


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#4 of 12 Old 05-11-2011, 09:28 AM
 
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Has he had any big changes in his life recently? Just out of curiosity, is he on any new medications or have a vaccine recently?


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#5 of 12 Old 05-11-2011, 10:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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No meds or vaccines lately, I'm about to have a baby but that's a big change that hasn't happened yet. 


Still-learning wife to long-suffering and wonderful DH and manoula to DS #1 (8/09), an angel baby (7/10), and DD #1 due May 29!
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#6 of 12 Old 05-11-2011, 10:53 AM
 
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The baby is probably part of it. Also, how good is his language? Kids that age can get very frustrated when they are unable to express themselves. It might help to talk to him about his feelings - like to give words to how he's feeling. "You're frustrated", "You sound disappointed", "are you angry?" It can help for them to hear that you understand how they're feeling, and also once they have words for those emotions they're less overwhelming for them.
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#7 of 12 Old 05-11-2011, 02:54 PM
 
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My 19 month old son has also recently 'changed' a bit in this same way.  I'm still trying to find a way to react in order to minimize the frustration for all of us.  I really think it can be developmental.  My son seems to understand that he is his own little person and has choices.

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#8 of 12 Old 05-11-2011, 03:08 PM
 
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My 23 mo DS goes through phases where he screeches/screams more than usual.  It often seems to happen right before a growth or development spurt.  It is SO frustrating to me - I don't have a lot of tolerance for it, to be honest.  He's been in the middle of one for about a week, and it's wearing thin. 

 

I honestly do not remember my three girls doing this much screaming, although there was some screaming with each.  My other DS did some, but not as much as this DS.  I think it does depend on the temperament of your toddler!  :)

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#9 of 12 Old 05-11-2011, 03:19 PM
 
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My ds is there too and only 17 months. I seem to recall this stage coming later with my first ds.

 

I find myself doing (or not doing things) to avoid his little meltdowns.

Like not taking out the recycling/trash. Because whenever you open the door he thinks it's time to go out and play and will have a huge tantrum when he realizes he doesn't get to..... So lately anytime you open the door without taking him outside results in a meltdown.

 

I think with ds 1 I really struggled with this age because I was always trying to prevent his tantrums. I guess I'm rolling with it this time around. I talk to ds and tell him 'I'm sorry you're mad" " I know you want to go out". But for the most part he seems to have to move on himself. Usually if I try to physically console I end up getting butted in the head or him trying to flop out of my arms.

 

I really think a lot of tantrums is due to the lack of language they have to express themselves.

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#10 of 12 Old 05-11-2011, 05:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beebalmmama View Post

My ds is there too and only 17 months. I seem to recall this stage coming later with my first ds.

 

I find myself doing (or not doing things) to avoid his little meltdowns.

Like not taking out the recycling/trash. Because whenever you open the door he thinks it's time to go out and play and will have a huge tantrum when he realizes he doesn't get to..... So lately anytime you open the door without taking him outside results in a meltdown.

 

I think with ds 1 I really struggled with this age because I was always trying to prevent his tantrums. I guess I'm rolling with it this time around. I talk to ds and tell him 'I'm sorry you're mad" " I know you want to go out". But for the most part he seems to have to move on himself. Usually if I try to physically console I end up getting butted in the head or him trying to flop out of my arms.

 

I really think a lot of tantrums is due to the lack of language they have to express themselves.

 

yeahthat.gif This is totally DS.  There are so many things I "can't" do because they set him off; no opening the front door, jingling keys, letting him see our cell phones...I feel a little better hearing that my son isn't the only one.  He comprehends nearly everything I say to him, but his speech is delayed.  I think he has fewer than 10 words to be honest, and they aren't very clear.  So maybe he is as frustrated as I am.  I guess I chose the GD forum for this because when I hear the screaming and grunting, it is very very hard for me to breathe through it and talk to him rationally.  My first instinct is to say "What is the MATTER with you??"  even though I know it's because he's, duh, less than two years old.
 

 


Still-learning wife to long-suffering and wonderful DH and manoula to DS #1 (8/09), an angel baby (7/10), and DD #1 due May 29!
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#11 of 12 Old 05-11-2011, 10:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beebalmmama View Post

My ds is there too and only 17 months. I seem to recall this stage coming later with my first ds.

 

I find myself doing (or not doing things) to avoid his little meltdowns.

Like not taking out the recycling/trash. Because whenever you open the door he thinks it's time to go out and play and will have a huge tantrum when he realizes he doesn't get to..... So lately anytime you open the door without taking him outside results in a meltdown.

 

I think with ds 1 I really struggled with this age because I was always trying to prevent his tantrums. I guess I'm rolling with it this time around. I talk to ds and tell him 'I'm sorry you're mad" " I know you want to go out". But for the most part he seems to have to move on himself. Usually if I try to physically console I end up getting butted in the head or him trying to flop out of my arms.

 

I really think a lot of tantrums is due to the lack of language they have to express themselves.



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by zuzunel09 View Post


 

 

yeahthat.gif This is totally DS.  There are so many things I "can't" do because they set him off; no opening the front door, jingling keys, letting him see our cell phones...I feel a little better hearing that my son isn't the only one.  He comprehends nearly everything I say to him, but his speech is delayed.  I think he has fewer than 10 words to be honest, and they aren't very clear.  So maybe he is as frustrated as I am.  I guess I chose the GD forum for this because when I hear the screaming and grunting, it is very very hard for me to breathe through it and talk to him rationally.  My first instinct is to say "What is the MATTER with you??"  even though I know it's because he's, duh, less than two years old.
 

 


Same here. My 18 month old screams SO loud, SO often about every. single. thing. that I am afraid the neighbors are gonna call CPS or something.

 

There is no direct access to our garage from inside the house and our washer and dryer are in the garage. Which means any time I need to go out there to switch out laundry, or check the mail or take out the trash or recycling or even just go get something out of the car, I have to bring my keys with me and lock the deadbolt behind me. If I don't, DS2 opens the door and follows me out. Which is no big deal, right? Cause he can "help" with the laundry etc. Sure he can. Until it is time to go back in. Which is always sooner than he would like. At which point he is having none of it and screams bloody murder at the top of his lungs because I eventually have to pick him up and bring him in against his will. 

 

I can't go pee in peace. If I bring him with me, he opens the drawers and dumps out my jewelry, toothbrush, plays in the trash, bangs on the mirror or glass shower doors until I am afraid it will crack. If I lock him out and go alone, he finds something to break/climb/destroy in the 35 seconds I am gone. If I put him in the pack in play prior to going to pee, he screams SO loud that my older DS puts a pillow over his own ears to try to protect them and once again, I am subjecting innocent neighbors to earth shattering screams.

 

I can't open the pantry, cause he tries and succeeds to disassemble the printer (which is in the pantry) and take out the ink cartridges in the few moments I am grabbing the items I need...or he digs in the recycling box and reaches for the one aluminum can which can cut his finger. When I offer more appropriate things to play w/he will refuse and screams when I take the non-appropriate item away.  My refrigerator is duct taped closed to prevent him from opening it 500 times per day. When he opens it and I close it, you guessed it...screams! No amount of talking and explaining works.  I've "babyproofed" everything I can, but it is pointless. He now pushes dining chairs up to the counter to reach things out of his reach. (Like an entire drawer filled w/kitchen gadgets like carrot peeler, cheese grater, can opener, pizza cutter...I have to take the drawer out of it's hole and place it on top of the counter each day because of the way it is designed there is no lock that will fit it to keep him from opening it.) 

 

It's so tiring. I am just hoping and praying it gets better as he learns to talk more....but I am skeptical. He can say lots of words and has lots of signs, but just chooses the screaming as his first method of voicing his displeasure. 

 

My first two kids were NOT like this. DH jokes (sort of) that it is lucky DS2 is the third child, because if he were the first, he'd be the only. dizzy.gif

 

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#12 of 12 Old 05-12-2011, 08:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamieCole View Post





 




Same here. My 18 month old screams SO loud, SO often about every. single. thing. that I am afraid the neighbors are gonna call CPS or something.

 

There is no direct access to our garage from inside the house and our washer and dryer are in the garage. Which means any time I need to go out there to switch out laundry, or check the mail or take out the trash or recycling or even just go get something out of the car, I have to bring my keys with me and lock the deadbolt behind me. If I don't, DS2 opens the door and follows me out. Which is no big deal, right? Cause he can "help" with the laundry etc. Sure he can. Until it is time to go back in. Which is always sooner than he would like. At which point he is having none of it and screams bloody murder at the top of his lungs because I eventually have to pick him up and bring him in against his will. 

 

I can't go pee in peace. If I bring him with me, he opens the drawers and dumps out my jewelry, toothbrush, plays in the trash, bangs on the mirror or glass shower doors until I am afraid it will crack. If I lock him out and go alone, he finds something to break/climb/destroy in the 35 seconds I am gone. If I put him in the pack in play prior to going to pee, he screams SO loud that my older DS puts a pillow over his own ears to try to protect them and once again, I am subjecting innocent neighbors to earth shattering screams.

 

I can't open the pantry, cause he tries and succeeds to disassemble the printer (which is in the pantry) and take out the ink cartridges in the few moments I am grabbing the items I need...or he digs in the recycling box and reaches for the one aluminum can which can cut his finger. When I offer more appropriate things to play w/he will refuse and screams when I take the non-appropriate item away.  My refrigerator is duct taped closed to prevent him from opening it 500 times per day. When he opens it and I close it, you guessed it...screams! No amount of talking and explaining works.  I've "babyproofed" everything I can, but it is pointless. He now pushes dining chairs up to the counter to reach things out of his reach. (Like an entire drawer filled w/kitchen gadgets like carrot peeler, cheese grater, can opener, pizza cutter...I have to take the drawer out of it's hole and place it on top of the counter each day because of the way it is designed there is no lock that will fit it to keep him from opening it.) 

 

It's so tiring. I am just hoping and praying it gets better as he learns to talk more....but I am skeptical. He can say lots of words and has lots of signs, but just chooses the screaming as his first method of voicing his displeasure. 

 

My first two kids were NOT like this. DH jokes (sort of) that it is lucky DS2 is the third child, because if he were the first, he'd be the only. dizzy.gif

 



And I've been annoyed by the joy of ds 2 being a climber. But so far he's only discovered the kitchen table and I've resorted to laying the chairs on their sides. If he gets more resourceful in his climbing......I'm in big trouble.

 

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