Like many of you I have a very spirited 3yo DD.¬† I have read Raising Your Spirited Child and DD is off the charts for every category of spiritedness!¬† For the most part we have made it through by trial and error and I assure you there have been more errors than solutions.
There is one particular behavior right now that I just can't manage to find a solution to.¬† Whenever we need to speak to DD about instructions for something,¬†speak to her about an unappropriate action or just ask her a question we get down on her level and ask her to come so we can talk.¬† She will listen to the first few words and if she doesn't like what we're saying she will start yelling and screaming over DH and I so she doesn't hear us.¬† There have been times that I needed her do something immediately and I have tried being louder than her and that definitely doesn't work.¬†¬†Trying it again later, isn't always an option and it doesn't work a second time either.¬†We have asked her¬†to stop yelling, to calm down, to take a deep breathe, to speak nicely and use her words to no avail. ¬†If she doesn't want to hear something she makes sure she¬†doesn't hear it!
I could really use some ideas Mamas!
Modeling what I would prefer for them to say really works for my ds(4). DD(6) is another story, we're still working on this with her.... Let me know if you find a good solution!