I can't even read the reviews, I read the first sentence and nearly started bawling. How horrible.
For the record, we are extremely religious, devout Christians who strictly adhere to our Church's teachings... I don't believe God would want me to hurt this sweet child He has given to us. (I just don't want anyone to get the impression that all Christians are in favor of spanking or anything...)
I'm not a Christian, but I certainly know not all Christians believe in spanking. There's that whole website...gentle Christian mothers or something like that?...devoted to childrearing, without spanking, with Christian values.
Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) , Emma (5/03) , Evan (7/05) , & Jenna (6/09)
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing Aaron Ambrose (11/07)
UMMM seriously? WHAT does that have to do with it not being violent? There are people who get turned on by circ too and it has to be a really tight circ with a dark scar. There are people who get turned on by rape too but well if they like it sooooooo much it must not be violent then right?
I already explained my point which was, once again, that all spanking is not considered violent by all people all of the time like pp proposed.
Thank you for this comment, it definately gives me something to think about.....I made a promise to myself not to spank several months ago, but I didn't have something concrete to tie it to, but this makes sense to me.
In this situation, I would probably just try and model other alternatives. So, if you hear your SIL say that to her daugher, I'd probably say something like, "Oh, come hold my hand so you don't get hurt." or "Let's pretend our hands have glue on them and we're stuck together..."
I would also praise the little girl on her good behavior when you see it. Notice it, so at least she gets some sort of validation.
I also think a book like 1-2-3 Magic, while not ideal IMHO, is a good way to move spankers into non-spankers. It's a simple method that most parents can get and implement quite easily. Of course, if the parent says 1-2-3 and then spank the kid on 3, it loses its effectiveness.
This has been hard for me lately. I don't know what to do when my SIL tells her two year old daughter that she is going to "bust her" for going near the street. She is only two and has never had any "behavior problems" anyway. What am I supposed to tell my son when he sees his aunt hitting her? It disgusts me! In my DH's family "spanking" is seen as so different than hitting. If I make an issue of it it will cause so much hostility towards me and not help my niece's case...A tough problem.
Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1). "Kids do as well as they can."
I am going to close this thread so that I can read it all. I would like to remind everyone that advocating spanking is not something we wish to host. Discussion of alternatives to spanking, or ways to move toward gentle discipline are welcomed, but advocating for physical punishment is not.
If you have posted in a manner that is advocating or endorsing spanking or other forms of physical punishment, please edit your post. I will reopen this thread once I have had a chance to read it thoroughly. This may take me a couple of days. If you are unsure about what I mean, please PM me, and I would be happy to have a conversation about what needs editing.
Adina mama to B 4/06 and E 8/13/12 (on her due date!)